Ok that makes sense.
She just keeps on making out as though that would be the case when really I don't believe it would be. Why on earth would it matter where I got married? i could get married anywhere in the world and it would be valid wouldn't it...I always had a feeling she was chatting bull when she was saying that if I didn't get married in Nigeria, it wouldn't be valid in Britian.
Anyway I think I'd like to get married here, but at some point before or after the wedding I'd do the traditional wedding ceremony in Nigeria. I don't mind a traditional ceremony - I want both - but I wouldn't want my mum to get in the way of my plans. The problem is, I feel as though she is imposing it on me and using any excuse to do so, and giving me less choice. I want to get married here in a church (if I choose to remain a Christian in future) or in a registry office. Then I will do a traditional ceremony, before or after. I would be officially married when I do my proper wedding (so not when I do the Nigerian ceremony). She needs to stop imposing her expectation on me otherwise she will put me off!
However my brother has said on several occasions that he doesn't want to do the Nigeria ceremony at all - I don't really care, it's his life - but my mum keeps on imposing it on him.
When I was young I used to think that when I became and adult, my parents would treat me better and would stop treating me as inferior and would stop dictating my life, but I'm 19 now and I can't see that happening anytime soon, so I'm moving away to the North-East of England in September so that I can start living my life. I always feel as though they will constantly treat me life a clone and dictate my life - so I am considering cutting them out. I don't know if this is something I'd want to do though.
If you look at my original post you will see that in one of my threads I am considering limiting contact, now I believe this is definately something I shall do. As for cutting them out, I am not sure. But I will definately be doing as much as I can to limit contact and keep my distance. It's hard to want to keep people in your life when they try to dictate your life or threaten to disown you for not being the person they want you to be, especially when they are your own parents, putting certain expectations on you and manipulating you. But my main aim is to live my life for myself - I owe it to myself anyway, especially after all the horrific things I've been through.