Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I feel so disconnected from my parents' culture...and it has been making me depressed

Announcements Posted on
We're up for a Webby! Vote TSR to help us win. 10-04-2014
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey

    I quoted you before about going to uni in London.

    Well I recently got an offer from a uni up in the North-East of England, so I've decided I shall be going there in September. It's for the best. I love London but I need to get away from my parents.
    hey!
    I was actually wondering how you were getting on... nice to hear from you. congrats that's awesome!
    you'll enjoy the northeast
    • 12 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dominic101)
    The poor food for one and the general condoning of physical abuse towards
    children. Also the fact that children are deemed as lasts to their elders and are meant to be treated with respect and the large amount of casual racism.
    Poor food? Maybe person who made it for you can't cook properly-Nigerian food made well is amazing and well seasoned. Physicalbuse? You mean discipline, thats what they know.I don't support ott discipline, only a minority take it overboard.There is huge emphasis on respect for elders and it should be. Casual racism,please explain.
    (Original post by someonesomewherexx)
    Shame, the spraying was one of the highlights of a traditional wedding for me as a kid
    Still spraybut here in the UK it with dollars, don't ask why.
    • 4 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Poor food? Maybe person who made it for you can't cook properly-Nigerian food made well is amazing and well seasoned. Physicalbuse? You mean discipline, thats what they know.I don't support ott discipline, only a minority take it overboard.There is huge emphasis on respect for elders and it should be. Casual racism,please explain.

    Still spraybut here in the UK it with dollars, don't ask why.
    Dollars :confused: but then, nigerians :rolleyes: ...
    • 12 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by someonesomewherexx)
    Dollars :confused: but then, nigerians :rolleyes: ...
    Haven't you ever been to a UK Nigerian party? I think because of the conversion rate.
    • 86 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Haven't you ever been to a UK Nigerian party? I think because of the conversion rate.
    Kmt. Are you the thread starter?
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Yes they are
    No they ain't, you need to sign the registry book to make it legally valid. but if you just plan on using customary tradition then sure. otherwise no.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't really believe it my mum still wont shut up about the fact that without a traditional Nigerian ceremony, my wedding and marriage and be invalid in accordance with British law and British officials and authorities.

    I wish she'd shut up otherwise I'm gonna have to consider cutting her out of my life as well.
    utter rubbish, like they give a toss about u eating kola nut and drinking palm wine or whether your husband's mates wipe the floor with their new agbadas to beg your hand in marriage abeg. all they want to see is registry certificate.
    anyway why would this matter? are your parents planning on marrying you off to someone in nigeria for you bring back into the country as your husband?
    • 12 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Crazy Paving)
    Kmt. Are you the thread starter?
    Did I say I was. Abeg leave me.

    (Original post by Wahala)
    No they ain't, you need to sign the registry book to make it legally valid. but if you just plan on using customary tradition then sure. otherwise no.
    Yes they are as you have said in your penultimate sentence. My parents traditonal marriage was recognised under British law by HMRC-they didn't have a registry wedding.
    • 4 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Haven't you ever been to a UK Nigerian party? I think because of the conversion rate.
    Yeah, a few but they never sprayed money
    • 86 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Did I say I was. Abeg leave me.
    Abeg own up.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dominic101)
    The poor food for one and the general condoning of physical abuse towards
    children.
    This is something that I've always noticed from a young age unfortunately. I don't mean to be rude but even when you go onto the African society, I notice attitudes like this.

    (Original post by Dominic101)
    Also the fact that children are deemed as lasts to their elders and are meant to be treated with respect and the large amount of casual racism.
    That's true unfortunately. There seems to be a backwards view of children should be seen and not heard. They are not individuals with their own minds and they know nothing. Respect works one way. I know a lot of Nigeria families and this is the case As a child or young person we'd have no social standing.

    What do you mean by 'the large amount of casual racism'?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Dominic101)
    The poor food for one and the general condoning of physical abuse towards
    children. Also the fact that children are deemed as lasts to their elders and are meant to be treated with respect and the large amount of casual racism.
    Oh yeah by the way, the food is great, imo don't see what's wrong with it. I love it Do you prefer English food? Can you cook at all?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by arbaaz)
    hey!
    I was actually wondering how you were getting on... nice to hear from you. congrats that's awesome!
    you'll enjoy the northeast
    Thank you! I can't wait!
    • 4 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Crazy Paving)
    Abeg own up.
    Abeg(gi) stop arguing, I'm enjoying this way more than I should
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Wahala)
    utter rubbish, like they give a toss about u eating kola nut and drinking palm wine or whether your husband's mates wipe the floor with their new agbadas to beg your hand in marriage abeg. all they want to see is registry certificate.
    anyway why would this matter? are your parents planning on marrying you off to someone in nigeria for you bring back into the country as your husband?
    I hope not. But anyway, no they aren't, my mum keeps bringing it up for us to remember when we get married. She'd rather we got married in Nigeria.
    • 12 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Crazy Paving)
    Abeg own up.
    Abeg shutup, I no wan wahala.

    (Original post by someonesomewherexx)
    Yeah, a few but they never sprayed money
    whaaaaat. Thats unheard of.What tribe(party)?
    • 4 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Abeg shutup, I no wan wahala.



    whaaaaat. Thats unheard of.What tribe(party)?
    I'm Yoruba, but I happen to have very posh relatives who don't believe in such practices...Lol
    • 86 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by someonesomewherexx)
    Abeg(gi) stop arguing, I'm enjoying this way more than I should
    :rofl2: Finally a good Nigerian girl.

    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Abeg shutup, I no wan wahala.
    KMT, I am Igbo, not Yoruba.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Yes they are as you have said in your penultimate sentence. My parents traditonal marriage was recognised under British law by HMRC-they didn't have a registry wedding.
    yea because presumably they already had an established married life... in op's scenario, it won't apply.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hope not. But anyway, no they aren't, my mum keeps bringing it up for us to remember when we get married. She'd rather we got married in Nigeria.
    you need not worry yourself with such detail. what if your partner and his family insist on a london wedding? what then? some naija peeps here can't even be bothered with doin traditional .

    (Original post by Ebuwa)
    Abeg shutup, I no wan wahala.
    then don't mention my name, i'm like the candy man
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Wahala)
    you need not worry yourself with such detail. what if your partner and his family insist on a london wedding? what then? some naija peeps here can't even be bothered with doin traditional
    To be honest, I'm fed up with my parents trying to dictate my life and trying to impose certain views on me that I hope by that time not to be so close in contact with them by then.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?

    this is what you'll be called on TSR

  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?

    never shared and never spammed

  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By completing the slider below you agree to The Student Room's terms & conditions and site rules

  2. Slide the button to the right to create your account

    Slide to join now Processing…

    You don't slide that way? No problem.

Updated: January 15, 2013
Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.