Anyone else having a crap time at uni?
I'm a first year student and uni for me has been pretty crap so far. In the 4 months i've been here I haven't made any proper friends which is making me depressed as I spend most of my time in my room on my computer. I joined a few societies but failed to make any friends in these too. Also most of my flatmates are international students who stay in their rooms most of the time and mainly make friends with other international students. The worst thing is that the depression is affecting my studies. When i go out i see everyone else having the time of their lives and then there's me always on my own 
Anyone else having a crap time at uni?
Anyone else having a crap time at uni?
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Me too.
Wanted to drop out so much last year, but couldn't thing of anything else I could do. So this year has kind of flown in. I just keep my mind occupied on my studies.
But I do go through phases of feeling depressed/anxious.
Completely alone. But I see it as a means of getting a degree.
Perhaps look into transferring? Moving halls?
Wanted to drop out so much last year, but couldn't thing of anything else I could do. So this year has kind of flown in. I just keep my mind occupied on my studies.
But I do go through phases of feeling depressed/anxious.
Completely alone. But I see it as a means of getting a degree.
Perhaps look into transferring? Moving halls?
yep. really thought that uni would be the big step up in my life and would cure self-esteem issues and everything but its only made everything worse. im moving halls pretty soon so hoping my new flatmates will be less reclusive but I dunno. the more depressed I get the less I can interact with people and the more I fail socially the more I get depressed, its a vicious cycle.
Original post by Anonymous
But I see it as a means of getting a degree.
I hated university, very much felt the same as you OP. This is the only thing that got me through those 3 years.
Original post by Anonymous
Me too.
Wanted to drop out so much last year, but couldn't thing of anything else I could do. So this year has kind of flown in. I just keep my mind occupied on my studies.
But I do go through phases of feeling depressed/anxious.
Completely alone. But I see it as a means of getting a degree.
Perhaps look into transferring? Moving halls?
Wanted to drop out so much last year, but couldn't thing of anything else I could do. So this year has kind of flown in. I just keep my mind occupied on my studies.
But I do go through phases of feeling depressed/anxious.
Completely alone. But I see it as a means of getting a degree.
Perhaps look into transferring? Moving halls?
Yeah i'm just trying to concentrate on my studies but being depressed is making it so hard.
I wouldn't mind transferring uni but I think everyone will already be in their own friendship groups in 2nd year, so i'll probably end up in the same position.
Original post by let that boy cook
yep. really thought that uni would be the big step up in my life and would cure self-esteem issues and everything but its only made everything worse. im moving halls pretty soon so hoping my new flatmates will be less reclusive but I dunno. the more depressed I get the less I can interact with people and the more I fail socially the more I get depressed, its a vicious cycle.
I thought the same
Anyway good luck
Original post by Sabertooth
I hated university, very much felt the same as you OP. This is the only thing that got me through those 3 years.
It's the only thing that's keeping me going atm, and i know if i drop out i'll have nothing else to do but get a crappy minimum wage job. So i'm pretty much stuck here.
Original post by -aimz
I'm the same as you OP. Your uni will have a support service, with things like counselling, if you need someone to talk to - it helps. What uni are you at out of interest?
I'll look into it, but tbh i'd find it awkward talking to someone about this face to face.
I'm at Hertfordshire.
Hey. Let me say by the way that I have no experience in this sort of thing, but I don't like to see someone in trouble.
Given your last statement, I would think it is very important that you do talk to someone about this. It's exactly what these sorts of things are, and that human interaction will no doubt help a lot. In general it is a very important thing! People who have more knowledge of loneliness will be able to help. I feel the sooner you get on with this, as hard as it it, the better it will be for you.
I had a summer girlfriend who went through hell in first year, despite having a boyfriend and lots of friends around. She just could not handle it at all. It is such a big thing for many people.
Are you currently in paid word to supplement your degree? From experience work can be a very good place to meet people, and if you manage to get a job within the uni itself you will be spending time around other students anyway. I know it can suck having to work a Saturday or whatever, but its extra pocket money and the other benefits mentioned. As I said though, maybe try and stick to jobs where there are other students from your uni.
Given your last statement, I would think it is very important that you do talk to someone about this. It's exactly what these sorts of things are, and that human interaction will no doubt help a lot. In general it is a very important thing! People who have more knowledge of loneliness will be able to help. I feel the sooner you get on with this, as hard as it it, the better it will be for you.
I had a summer girlfriend who went through hell in first year, despite having a boyfriend and lots of friends around. She just could not handle it at all. It is such a big thing for many people.
Are you currently in paid word to supplement your degree? From experience work can be a very good place to meet people, and if you manage to get a job within the uni itself you will be spending time around other students anyway. I know it can suck having to work a Saturday or whatever, but its extra pocket money and the other benefits mentioned. As I said though, maybe try and stick to jobs where there are other students from your uni.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a first year student and uni for me has been pretty crap so far. In the 4 months i've been here I haven't made any proper friends which is making me depressed as I spend most of my time in my room on my computer. I joined a few societies but failed to make any friends in these too. Also most of my flatmates are international students who stay in their rooms most of the time and mainly make friends with other international students. The worst thing is that the depression is affecting my studies. When i go out i see everyone else having the time of their lives and then there's me always on my own
Anyone else having a crap time at uni?
Anyone else having a crap time at uni?
http://ihateuniversity.com/2004/03/why-i-hate-university-life/
You may find this site comforting, I had fun reading through it. Good luck.
I'm the same. If you looked at my Facebook you'd think i was having the time of my life but i'm so lonely and i can't take much more of this.
I moved halls too last term and i do have a group of 'friends' but i really don't understand them. One day they will say hi, and they will knock for me if they're doing something. I always get invited for predrinks and nights out. But some days i will be completely ignored. One of them has just invited a few people out somewhere and blanked me even though i was in the room! I can't tell if these people like me or if i'm just a tag along..
I haven't made any friends on my course and i can't see how i will because there aren't enough contact hours. My subject has 3 hours per WEEK so most days i'm just sitting in my room. I've had the day off today and so far it has been - wake up at 3pm, go for a walk, sit on my laptop. The only social interaction i've had was a brief conversation with my friend when i was going to the shower. Nobody has asked me to live with them next year and i have nobody to ask, my self esteem (which was never high anyway) has plummeted and i don't have any confidence when talking to people as there is obviously some glaring reason why nobody likes me.
I'm completely lost about my housing situation and i feel so lonely. I'd give anything to have 1 person who i'm close with and i can open up to I know if i don't meet people this year i probably never will which is terrifying me. I can't do another 2 and a half years of this. All this is meaning i have no motivation to work, i like my university but i want to transfer so badly. However if i apply for 2nd year entry everyone will have friends already. So i don't know what to do. I know i'm here to get a degree but whats the point if you don't have a few good friends with you?
I moved halls too last term and i do have a group of 'friends' but i really don't understand them. One day they will say hi, and they will knock for me if they're doing something. I always get invited for predrinks and nights out. But some days i will be completely ignored. One of them has just invited a few people out somewhere and blanked me even though i was in the room! I can't tell if these people like me or if i'm just a tag along..
I haven't made any friends on my course and i can't see how i will because there aren't enough contact hours. My subject has 3 hours per WEEK so most days i'm just sitting in my room. I've had the day off today and so far it has been - wake up at 3pm, go for a walk, sit on my laptop. The only social interaction i've had was a brief conversation with my friend when i was going to the shower. Nobody has asked me to live with them next year and i have nobody to ask, my self esteem (which was never high anyway) has plummeted and i don't have any confidence when talking to people as there is obviously some glaring reason why nobody likes me.
I'm completely lost about my housing situation and i feel so lonely. I'd give anything to have 1 person who i'm close with and i can open up to I know if i don't meet people this year i probably never will which is terrifying me. I can't do another 2 and a half years of this. All this is meaning i have no motivation to work, i like my university but i want to transfer so badly. However if i apply for 2nd year entry everyone will have friends already. So i don't know what to do. I know i'm here to get a degree but whats the point if you don't have a few good friends with you?
OP, what uni are you at, if you don't mind me asking?
I know how you feel. Things have really only started to improve for me in the last week but as everyone else says, it's a means to an end. You'll get a degree, perhaps further your career. To help me when I've wanted to drop out, I made a simple list of 'reasons to stay at uni' and it has even small stuff on it like 'being able to do shots at 5am, if I wish to do so', because I just couldn't do crazy stuff like that at home. Whenever I feel bad, I look at that, and even if one thing on that list makes me feel better, it's enough.
I know how you feel. Things have really only started to improve for me in the last week
but as everyone else says, it's a means to an end. You'll get a degree, perhaps further your career. To help me when I've wanted to drop out, I made a simple list of 'reasons to stay at uni' and it has even small stuff on it like 'being able to do shots at 5am, if I wish to do so', because I just couldn't do crazy stuff like that at home. Whenever I feel bad, I look at that, and even if one thing on that list makes me feel better, it's enough.I've not had the best time so far at uni either, whilst my flatmates are sociable and I do like going out drinking/clubbing I really don't click with them at all, and as everyone else goes out with their flat this has left me with no-one to go out with, resulting in many depressing nights. There are other people I know in my halls (and click with more) but I've already asked to join them a couple of times and I'm worried if I ask any more they will get pissed off with me.
I was having a really bad time at uni when i first started, nobody in my halls seemed to like me and i was alone a lot, i cut off all my other friends from home as well. so i moved back home, got in touch with my old friends and im currently the happiest ive been in years, i only have one friend at uni, but we are each others only friends there so its not so bad we always see each other there. (luckily my house is within commuting distance from the uni)
maybe you need to do what you think will make you the happiest, if you really dont like it in halls then just go home, things like uni/living away arent worth your happiness.
maybe you need to do what you think will make you the happiest, if you really dont like it in halls then just go home, things like uni/living away arent worth your happiness.
I feel your pain as well
Same here. I got into my first choice uni and was so excited to get a new start and all that, because I didn't have the best time at sixth form. But now i'm just miserable here. My flatmates have all got their own friends, i've met people on my course but it's literally a 'meet them, go to lectures, go home' sort of thing. So I never see anyone outside of lectures and spend most of my time in my room on my laptop. I've tried making an effort with people but it's like they just don't care. So i've basically given up. My course is also causing problems because I don't have the motivation or enthusiasm to do anything anymore.
Currently looking at transferring to a uni close to home so I can live at home and commute. Sure, some problems will still be there, but I just feel like i'd be a lot better at home where I have people to talk to and all. Thing is my hopes are all resting on one uni letting me transfer there so if they say no, then i'm really stuck. Because I don't even know if i'll be able to survive until June here, let alone another two years. I just want to leave.
Currently looking at transferring to a uni close to home so I can live at home and commute. Sure, some problems will still be there, but I just feel like i'd be a lot better at home where I have people to talk to and all. Thing is my hopes are all resting on one uni letting me transfer there so if they say no, then i'm really stuck. Because I don't even know if i'll be able to survive until June here, let alone another two years. I just want to leave.
Thanks for the replies, it's nice to know i'm not the only one having a bad experience.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm the same. If you looked at my Facebook you'd think i was having the time of my life but i'm so lonely and i can't take much more of this.
I moved halls too last term and i do have a group of 'friends' but i really don't understand them. One day they will say hi, and they will knock for me if they're doing something. I always get invited for predrinks and nights out. But some days i will be completely ignored. One of them has just invited a few people out somewhere and blanked me even though i was in the room! I can't tell if these people like me or if i'm just a tag along..
I haven't made any friends on my course and i can't see how i will because there aren't enough contact hours. My subject has 3 hours per WEEK so most days i'm just sitting in my room. I've had the day off today and so far it has been - wake up at 3pm, go for a walk, sit on my laptop. The only social interaction i've had was a brief conversation with my friend when i was going to the shower. Nobody has asked me to live with them next year and i have nobody to ask, my self esteem (which was never high anyway) has plummeted and i don't have any confidence when talking to people as there is obviously some glaring reason why nobody likes me.
I'm completely lost about my housing situation and i feel so lonely. I'd give anything to have 1 person who i'm close with and i can open up to I know if i don't meet people this year i probably never will which is terrifying me. I can't do another 2 and a half years of this. All this is meaning i have no motivation to work, i like my university but i want to transfer so badly. However if i apply for 2nd year entry everyone will have friends already. So i don't know what to do. I know i'm here to get a degree but whats the point if you don't have a few good friends with you?
I moved halls too last term and i do have a group of 'friends' but i really don't understand them. One day they will say hi, and they will knock for me if they're doing something. I always get invited for predrinks and nights out. But some days i will be completely ignored. One of them has just invited a few people out somewhere and blanked me even though i was in the room! I can't tell if these people like me or if i'm just a tag along..
I haven't made any friends on my course and i can't see how i will because there aren't enough contact hours. My subject has 3 hours per WEEK so most days i'm just sitting in my room. I've had the day off today and so far it has been - wake up at 3pm, go for a walk, sit on my laptop. The only social interaction i've had was a brief conversation with my friend when i was going to the shower. Nobody has asked me to live with them next year and i have nobody to ask, my self esteem (which was never high anyway) has plummeted and i don't have any confidence when talking to people as there is obviously some glaring reason why nobody likes me.
I'm completely lost about my housing situation and i feel so lonely. I'd give anything to have 1 person who i'm close with and i can open up to I know if i don't meet people this year i probably never will which is terrifying me. I can't do another 2 and a half years of this. All this is meaning i have no motivation to work, i like my university but i want to transfer so badly. However if i apply for 2nd year entry everyone will have friends already. So i don't know what to do. I know i'm here to get a degree but whats the point if you don't have a few good friends with you?
- um if you're so lonely why are you glamming up your facebook? Just goes to show how false it is. Just show how your life is really like people.
Original post by hannahchan
- um if you're so lonely why are you glamming up your facebook? Just goes to show how false it is. Just show how your life is really like people.
Well i'm hardly going to write about how low i feel, am i? Hardly anyone at uni knows how the truth about how i'm getting on - i.e what i wrote above.
Besides, other people choose to tag me in photos.
