(Original post by SingMeALullaby)
Before I came to university i was happy as could be, i wasn't that confident but i had some self esteem and got on with everyone. I'm not one to argue etc so i always found myself with a lot of friends surrounding me.
However ever since i've started university, everything has went down hill
My decision for university was pending on results day because i got BBB instead of ABB, i did eventually get accepted - however as a result i didn't get my first preference at halls, and was put in non alcohol accomodation.
My hallmates there were born again christians, were very shy, rarely emerged from their room and didn't even go to the cinema never mind clubbing, so i made no friendships there. My course hours are really short - 10 hours a week, so after making no friends in my non alcohol accommodation or class, and crying every evening down the phone to my parents, i decided i would put my name on the waiting list to move rooms.
In the middle of November I got placed in normal halls. I really tried to make an effort buying a box of sweets for the kitchen, knocking doors to introduce myself, and made an effort to go out clubbing or shopping with them, even if i did have work to do! However I still feel like an outsider because i'm just treated like the new girl who moved in late
i feel like i'm tagging along.
My self esteem has went to 0, i'm always thinking im worthless and that i must be horrible if no one likes me
i cry everyday when i come home from class, and i've started to get really nervous in social situations. I'm convinced everyone is staring at me, that i'm hideous, and my heart starts racing. All i want to do is go home in crawl in bed.
My friends from home are sort of caught up in their new university life, and i'm even starting to get paranoid that they don't like me. I can also never accept compliments from my boyfriend - i always think he's lying, no one could ever love me, and i start to cry :\ my life is one big mess.
i know this is a bit of a rant, but has anyone else felt this way at university? i thought it would be such a fun and exciting time, but its been the worse experience of my life so far.