"Bullying builds Character"
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I actually do think that constant hand rasiign is the sign of an ass now (sorry if you do it still 
but a guy in my meetings does this all the time and it irritates the hell out of me as he is usually wrong). If my teachers/peers at the time could not see the value of my work through actual assignments then I think a few throw about questions wouldn't have done anything to dissuade them.
but a guy in my meetings does this all the time and it irritates the hell out of me as he is usually wrong). If my teachers/peers at the time could not see the value of my work through actual assignments then I think a few throw about questions wouldn't have done anything to dissuade them.
Original post by for_healing_only
I actually do think that constant hand rasiign is the sign of an ass now (sorry if you do it still but a guy in my meetings does this all the time and it irritates the hell out of me as he is usually wrong). If my teachers/peers at the time could not see the value of my work through actual assignments then I think a few throw about questions wouldn't have done anything to dissuade them.
but a guy in my meetings does this all the time and it irritates the hell out of me as he is usually wrong). If my teachers/peers at the time could not see the value of my work through actual assignments then I think a few throw about questions wouldn't have done anything to dissuade them.Why is it the 'sign of an ass'? They ask if you know the answer, you put your hand up. Therefore, if you know it...why shouldn't you put your hand up? Lol it's annoying if someone's always doing it and they're always wrong, hardly a reason to declare war on someone though.
Original post by a.byrnie
"Bullying builds character" is just something people say because they don't want to or aren't able to deal with the problem.
Actually it depends on your outlook on life. I view everything that has happened in my life has had a positive effect considering that I'm very happy with the way that I am (physically, mentally, and emotionally).
So I'd argue that yes, in certain people it does build character, and in others it has the ability to completely destroy any already existing character.
What a load of absolute **** that is, i'm sorry but you have no ****ing clue what you are talking about. My life has been completely destroyed because of anxiety and shyness caused by bullying and statements like this are just insulting.
From Year 7 onwards i was relentlessly bullied, in some cases by people who had been my friends throughout primary school. My work was ripped up, i was tripped up and spat on, people always did things to my food at lunchtime, and when i walked home people would run into me with their bikes. I was laughed at whenever i spoke in class, and was frequently reduced to tears in lessons whilst the whole class would laugh at me. I've had my school uniform stolen, cut up and thrown in the shower, been pushed into a bush of stingy nettles whilst doing a sponsored walk, been smacked around the face with a cricket bat (still have a scar) and once after PE i was choked with my own tie to the point where i required hospital treatment. I used to play sunday league football and whenever i played against a team with one of my aggressors in, they would purposely try to injure me.
Of course the school never did anything. I recall going into an English lesson one day, and someone who had been tormenting me since Year 7 hid behind the door and jumped out at me to the entire classes amusement. I completely snapped, smashed his head against the door repeatedly and stamped on him before i just walked off. Of course HE was made out to be the victim and i was expelled. I had gone from being predicted 10 A*/A's at the start of Year 10 to leaving school with no GCSE's.
All this made me so severely depressed to the point where i was repeatedly trying to take my own life and ended up being admitted to a psychiatric unit. I've been on anti depressents for 6 years, have seen over 40 doctors/counsellors since then and i am STILL not 'cured'.
When i started college my social skills were non existant. On the first day, i remember sitting next to two girls, both smiled at me and said hi. My first instinct was that they were taking the piss. I couldn't believe that some people were friendly and wanted to get to know me. It took me forever to make friends and it wasn't until the last week of Year 13 that i was confident enough to speak in class and initiate a conversation with someone.
Nearly a decade later i FINALLY got into university and i am still badly affected by what i went through. My first year has been completely wasted because of anxiety. I'm far too paranoid that people don't like me, even friends. I've met a lovely group of friends in halls but i'm still too nervous to suggest anything or start talking to them in case they don't like me, even though i'm constantly being reassured that i'm part of the group. So getting close to people is impossible even though i am desperate to. I'd meet people on a night out, they'd invite me to their flat and i was never brave enough to go. I'd get talking to a girl and i was never brave enough to get her number or arrange to meet again. When people were arranging 2nd year housing, i wasn't brave enough to ask. So i have nobody to live with.
I've never had a girlfriend even though i have plenty of girls looking over, smiling, approaching and flirting with me. I have no confidence in how i look and can't believe a girl would find me attractive. Everyone tells me i have a nice personality and any girl would be lucky to have me, but i can't see it. I'm struggling to find a job because i have no confidence to ''sell myself''. I have no confidence to talk in seminars and i'm constantly doubting my academic ability even though i'm getting firsts for my essays.
I've missed out on so many life experiences that a normal person my age has been through, and this makes me upset every single day. I'd give anything to be confident and happy but i don't think this will ever be possible because of the insecurites and anxieties that bullying has left me with. The fact i have made a new account just to post this says it all really.
From Year 7 onwards i was relentlessly bullied, in some cases by people who had been my friends throughout primary school. My work was ripped up, i was tripped up and spat on, people always did things to my food at lunchtime, and when i walked home people would run into me with their bikes. I was laughed at whenever i spoke in class, and was frequently reduced to tears in lessons whilst the whole class would laugh at me. I've had my school uniform stolen, cut up and thrown in the shower, been pushed into a bush of stingy nettles whilst doing a sponsored walk, been smacked around the face with a cricket bat (still have a scar) and once after PE i was choked with my own tie to the point where i required hospital treatment. I used to play sunday league football and whenever i played against a team with one of my aggressors in, they would purposely try to injure me.
Of course the school never did anything. I recall going into an English lesson one day, and someone who had been tormenting me since Year 7 hid behind the door and jumped out at me to the entire classes amusement. I completely snapped, smashed his head against the door repeatedly and stamped on him before i just walked off. Of course HE was made out to be the victim and i was expelled. I had gone from being predicted 10 A*/A's at the start of Year 10 to leaving school with no GCSE's.
All this made me so severely depressed to the point where i was repeatedly trying to take my own life and ended up being admitted to a psychiatric unit. I've been on anti depressents for 6 years, have seen over 40 doctors/counsellors since then and i am STILL not 'cured'.
When i started college my social skills were non existant. On the first day, i remember sitting next to two girls, both smiled at me and said hi. My first instinct was that they were taking the piss. I couldn't believe that some people were friendly and wanted to get to know me. It took me forever to make friends and it wasn't until the last week of Year 13 that i was confident enough to speak in class and initiate a conversation with someone.
Nearly a decade later i FINALLY got into university and i am still badly affected by what i went through. My first year has been completely wasted because of anxiety. I'm far too paranoid that people don't like me, even friends. I've met a lovely group of friends in halls but i'm still too nervous to suggest anything or start talking to them in case they don't like me, even though i'm constantly being reassured that i'm part of the group. So getting close to people is impossible even though i am desperate to. I'd meet people on a night out, they'd invite me to their flat and i was never brave enough to go. I'd get talking to a girl and i was never brave enough to get her number or arrange to meet again. When people were arranging 2nd year housing, i wasn't brave enough to ask. So i have nobody to live with.
I've never had a girlfriend even though i have plenty of girls looking over, smiling, approaching and flirting with me. I have no confidence in how i look and can't believe a girl would find me attractive. Everyone tells me i have a nice personality and any girl would be lucky to have me, but i can't see it. I'm struggling to find a job because i have no confidence to ''sell myself''. I have no confidence to talk in seminars and i'm constantly doubting my academic ability even though i'm getting firsts for my essays.
I've missed out on so many life experiences that a normal person my age has been through, and this makes me upset every single day. I'd give anything to be confident and happy but i don't think this will ever be possible because of the insecurites and anxieties that bullying has left me with. The fact i have made a new account just to post this says it all really.
Well considering going into high school I was a normal person but I (not trying to be arrogant) was smarter than the rest of my form. And left high school with a deep hatred for most people, I prefer my own company to being in groups, I am socially anxious when walking through large groups of students at college, I feel like everyone is looking at me and when I hear laughs I think its at me. I trust almost no-one, I used to do normal things but now I'm pretty much a guitar and xbox recluit with a few very close friends.
Oh and its desensitised me to violence, and compared to a normal person I am probably overly aggressive and would love to dress up in all black, follow the people who bullied me, strike them to the ground with a bat of some sort, continue to hit them until all their ribs are broken, take a machete and cut off their face, cut off their fingers, carve out their eyes, cut them open cut them like a f****** fish and strangle them with their own intestines.
Bullying has probably made me stronger, and makes people stronger. They want to strive to become better than how their oppressors probably end up. Yet we usually end up very atomomistic and nihilistic.
All that B/S about how them might have a bad home life ... oh FFS come off it. Plenty of people have hard home lives and are almost all decent members of society. It's a terrible scapre goat the 'do-gooders' try and use to justify why someone might just be a dick because they are a dick.
For some people it completely destroy's their motivation and it can be a slippery, downward slope from then on.
It can sometimes. Some people become stronger others become weaker.
Original post by Ra Ra
Did you read my entire post? I said that it lasted for a year - not just kicking. 
Either way it seems like a bit of an over reaction.
Original post by altik
What a load of absolute **** that is, i'm sorry but you have no ****ing clue what you are talking about. My life has been completely destroyed because of anxiety and shyness caused by bullying and statements like this are just insulting.
From Year 7 onwards i was relentlessly bullied, in some cases by people who had been my friends throughout primary school. My work was ripped up, i was tripped up and spat on, people always did things to my food at lunchtime, and when i walked home people would run into me with their bikes. I was laughed at whenever i spoke in class, and was frequently reduced to tears in lessons whilst the whole class would laugh at me. I've had my school uniform stolen, cut up and thrown in the shower, been pushed into a bush of stingy nettles whilst doing a sponsored walk, been smacked around the face with a cricket bat (still have a scar) and once after PE i was choked with my own tie to the point where i required hospital treatment. I used to play sunday league football and whenever i played against a team with one of my aggressors in, they would purposely try to injure me.
Of course the school never did anything. I recall going into an English lesson one day, and someone who had been tormenting me since Year 7 hid behind the door and jumped out at me to the entire classes amusement. I completely snapped, smashed his head against the door repeatedly and stamped on him before i just walked off. Of course HE was made out to be the victim and i was expelled. I had gone from being predicted 10 A*/A's at the start of Year 10 to leaving school with no GCSE's.
All this made me so severely depressed to the point where i was repeatedly trying to take my own life and ended up being admitted to a psychiatric unit. I've been on anti depressents for 6 years, have seen over 40 doctors/counsellors since then and i am STILL not 'cured'.
When i started college my social skills were non existant. On the first day, i remember sitting next to two girls, both smiled at me and said hi. My first instinct was that they were taking the piss. I couldn't believe that some people were friendly and wanted to get to know me. It took me forever to make friends and it wasn't until the last week of Year 13 that i was confident enough to speak in class and initiate a conversation with someone.
Nearly a decade later i FINALLY got into university and i am still badly affected by what i went through. My first year has been completely wasted because of anxiety. I'm far too paranoid that people don't like me, even friends. I've met a lovely group of friends in halls but i'm still too nervous to suggest anything or start talking to them in case they don't like me, even though i'm constantly being reassured that i'm part of the group. So getting close to people is impossible even though i am desperate to. I'd meet people on a night out, they'd invite me to their flat and i was never brave enough to go. I'd get talking to a girl and i was never brave enough to get her number or arrange to meet again. When people were arranging 2nd year housing, i wasn't brave enough to ask. So i have nobody to live with.
I've never had a girlfriend even though i have plenty of girls looking over, smiling, approaching and flirting with me. I have no confidence in how i look and can't believe a girl would find me attractive. Everyone tells me i have a nice personality and any girl would be lucky to have me, but i can't see it. I'm struggling to find a job because i have no confidence to ''sell myself''. I have no confidence to talk in seminars and i'm constantly doubting my academic ability even though i'm getting firsts for my essays.
I've missed out on so many life experiences that a normal person my age has been through, and this makes me upset every single day. I'd give anything to be confident and happy but i don't think this will ever be possible because of the insecurites and anxieties that bullying has left me with. The fact i have made a new account just to post this says it all really.
From Year 7 onwards i was relentlessly bullied, in some cases by people who had been my friends throughout primary school. My work was ripped up, i was tripped up and spat on, people always did things to my food at lunchtime, and when i walked home people would run into me with their bikes. I was laughed at whenever i spoke in class, and was frequently reduced to tears in lessons whilst the whole class would laugh at me. I've had my school uniform stolen, cut up and thrown in the shower, been pushed into a bush of stingy nettles whilst doing a sponsored walk, been smacked around the face with a cricket bat (still have a scar) and once after PE i was choked with my own tie to the point where i required hospital treatment. I used to play sunday league football and whenever i played against a team with one of my aggressors in, they would purposely try to injure me.
Of course the school never did anything. I recall going into an English lesson one day, and someone who had been tormenting me since Year 7 hid behind the door and jumped out at me to the entire classes amusement. I completely snapped, smashed his head against the door repeatedly and stamped on him before i just walked off. Of course HE was made out to be the victim and i was expelled. I had gone from being predicted 10 A*/A's at the start of Year 10 to leaving school with no GCSE's.
All this made me so severely depressed to the point where i was repeatedly trying to take my own life and ended up being admitted to a psychiatric unit. I've been on anti depressents for 6 years, have seen over 40 doctors/counsellors since then and i am STILL not 'cured'.
When i started college my social skills were non existant. On the first day, i remember sitting next to two girls, both smiled at me and said hi. My first instinct was that they were taking the piss. I couldn't believe that some people were friendly and wanted to get to know me. It took me forever to make friends and it wasn't until the last week of Year 13 that i was confident enough to speak in class and initiate a conversation with someone.
Nearly a decade later i FINALLY got into university and i am still badly affected by what i went through. My first year has been completely wasted because of anxiety. I'm far too paranoid that people don't like me, even friends. I've met a lovely group of friends in halls but i'm still too nervous to suggest anything or start talking to them in case they don't like me, even though i'm constantly being reassured that i'm part of the group. So getting close to people is impossible even though i am desperate to. I'd meet people on a night out, they'd invite me to their flat and i was never brave enough to go. I'd get talking to a girl and i was never brave enough to get her number or arrange to meet again. When people were arranging 2nd year housing, i wasn't brave enough to ask. So i have nobody to live with.
I've never had a girlfriend even though i have plenty of girls looking over, smiling, approaching and flirting with me. I have no confidence in how i look and can't believe a girl would find me attractive. Everyone tells me i have a nice personality and any girl would be lucky to have me, but i can't see it. I'm struggling to find a job because i have no confidence to ''sell myself''. I have no confidence to talk in seminars and i'm constantly doubting my academic ability even though i'm getting firsts for my essays.
I've missed out on so many life experiences that a normal person my age has been through, and this makes me upset every single day. I'd give anything to be confident and happy but i don't think this will ever be possible because of the insecurites and anxieties that bullying has left me with. The fact i have made a new account just to post this says it all really.
Mate, I'm sure you're an intelligent person. Look at those predictions!
I'm very sorry to hear all of these
I really do not know what to say. But you must be someone that I would really enjoy making friends with
. People like you are a keeper and would appreciate their surrounding friends 
Original post by for_healing_only
My oldest brother told me once before I started secondary school not to show how intelligent I was as there are always people who resent it being rubbed in their face i.e. constant handraising (quite insightful considering he is usually quite dense). Just do well on the actual work and keep your head down the rest of the time.
Which is exactly what I did. Yet I still got bullied for getting better grades.
However, in any case, why should someone have to "hide" their intelligence? It should be the BULLIES who we should be targeting and making THEM change, not the victims.
Original post by prog2djent
All that B/S about how them might have a bad home life ... oh FFS come off it. Plenty of people have hard home lives and are almost all decent members of society. It's a terrible scapre goat the 'do-gooders' try and use to justify why someone might just be a dick because they are a dick. For some people it completely destroy's their motivation and it can be a slippery, downward slope from then on.
It's not bull****. You want to believe it's bull**** because you're a victim of bullying and don't want any sympathy towards bullies, as you yourself said you've got a deep hatred. There's no such thing as being born bad unless someone has psychopathic disorder or something. It's not always due to hard home lives but that is a factor in many physical/aggressive bullies cases. Then, there's also accidental bullies. You take the mickey out of someone one day then others start to laugh and now you're accepted by everyone else and you keep taking the mickey and bullying so others continue to laugh then it just becomes second nature.
Not really. I wasn't bullied by the other students in my school (a few tried to, they soon found out why not to..), it was the teachers/care staff (I went to a special needs boarding school).
It wasn't physical much, it was more emotional and psychological bullying which imo is much worse than physical. Physical I dealt with fine (most of the time), but it took me a while to get over what they used to say to me. Things along the lines of "You'll never get anywhere", "No one will like a pathetic wretch like you", "You know why your parents sent you here? It's because you're a mess and you need to be sorted out", "we'll straighten you out lad, you'll thank us" etc etc.
So to answer the question, it never built me any character. If anything it deformed it and made me a colder less trusting person than I should be.
It wasn't physical much, it was more emotional and psychological bullying which imo is much worse than physical. Physical I dealt with fine (most of the time), but it took me a while to get over what they used to say to me. Things along the lines of "You'll never get anywhere", "No one will like a pathetic wretch like you", "You know why your parents sent you here? It's because you're a mess and you need to be sorted out", "we'll straighten you out lad, you'll thank us" etc etc.
So to answer the question, it never built me any character. If anything it deformed it and made me a colder less trusting person than I should be.
Original post by Annoying-Mouse
It's not bull****. You want to believe it's bull**** because you're a victim of bullying and don't want any sympathy towards bullies, as you yourself said you've got a deep hatred. There's no such thing as being born bad unless someone has psychopathic disorder or something. It's not always due to hard home lives but that is a factor in many physical/aggressive bullies cases. Then, there's also accidental bullies. You take the mickey out of someone one day then others start to laugh and now you're accepted by everyone else and you keep taking the mickey and bullying so others continue to laugh then it just becomes second nature.
Right, so...I'm getting abused at home and I really hate it and it makes me feel crap...Oh I have an idea, I'll go do that to someone else! I hate feeling like this, so I'll make someone else feel it too! Can't see anything wrong with this idea at all, why didn't I think of it sooner?!
Epic logic fail.
(edited 12 years ago)
Life is tough, people suffer.
Based on my own personal experience of being bullied from years 7-11 I would definitely say it does. There is some degree of truth in "That that doesn't kill me, can only make me stronger".
I think I suffered moderate to bad bullying, both physical and emotional. I wouldn't go as far to say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me, but in the long run it has been a certain positive. Being bullied made me persevere, it made me much more keen to assert myself, kindof as a way of getting back at them by being better, by being more academic, by getting something out of life. I myself am quite the extrovert. Being bullied did not make me retreat into a shell, it made me a bigger and more confident character. It certainly made me less influenced by peer pressure; I've become very independant. They say life is the best revenge.
Morover, as a result of the experience I have far greater levels of tolerance and compassion for others. In my sixth form there is a guy who has a number of problems. Everyone treats him like a pariah or a freak. But not me, I always strive to stand up for those who everyone else picks on.
On the other hand, I know for a fact that I'm quite insecure and anxious around people as a result of my experience. But for me things have turned out good on balance. I suppose it was all dependant on me and my personality
I think I suffered moderate to bad bullying, both physical and emotional. I wouldn't go as far to say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me, but in the long run it has been a certain positive. Being bullied made me persevere, it made me much more keen to assert myself, kindof as a way of getting back at them by being better, by being more academic, by getting something out of life. I myself am quite the extrovert. Being bullied did not make me retreat into a shell, it made me a bigger and more confident character. It certainly made me less influenced by peer pressure; I've become very independant. They say life is the best revenge.
Morover, as a result of the experience I have far greater levels of tolerance and compassion for others. In my sixth form there is a guy who has a number of problems. Everyone treats him like a pariah or a freak. But not me, I always strive to stand up for those who everyone else picks on.
On the other hand, I know for a fact that I'm quite insecure and anxious around people as a result of my experience. But for me things have turned out good on balance. I suppose it was all dependant on me and my personality
Bullying breaks character...
Original post by SophiaKeuning
Bullying breaks character...
I would say it makes or breaks character, but which is why is dependant upon the person.
What I've noticed is years after school, very often the bully's are in good careers and have families while victims struggle to get on
Original post by LipstickKisses
Right, so...I'm getting abused at home and I really hate it and it makes me feel crap...Oh I have an idea, I'll go do that to someone else! I hate feeling like this, so I'll make someone else feel it too! Can't see anything wrong with this idea at all, why didn't I think of it sooner?!
Epic logic fail.
Epic logic fail.
Yeah, because their being logical. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection You're going to be their release. This is the same reason why many of those who are molested go on to molest themselves. Different people react differently to problems.
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