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Lack of social skills

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    I've noticed that I don't really understand some social situations very well and what to do in them. It's quite difficult to explain, but it does include things such as not being able to read body language, etc, and having great difficulty making friends. It makes me feel very isolated and that I am different to everyone else, the best way of explaining it is that like everyone else is on one system that they all understand, and I am on another, which only I understand.
    If anyone requires any more explanation, please ask.

    Is there any way I could get help for this or 'fix it' at all?
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    The only way I can think is practice. Practice in front of mirror. Practice by talking to customers if you have a job (if you don't already, get a sale assistant job from your local shops).

    It forces you to talk to people more often.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm ok with talking to people.. it's just that I don't know what to say really. Like I don't really know what other people would find offensive. I'd never, ever, speak my mind as I know from experience that it would cause problems, even though I don't really understand why.

    Hope this helps you to understand it better (I'm really not very good at explaining this)
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    I wouldn't dare to diagnose, but that sounds quite Aspie to me, or at least something similar. Aspie = Asperger's Syndrome, if that helps (that's one of my diagnoses, so I'm fairly sure of the criteria). At the same time, it could be plain old social-anxiety-type thinking.

    Please note, I'm not suggesting you have a load of conditions here, but the treatments or strategies to cope with those things could be useful to you. If it's affecting you a lot, or taking over your thinking, see your GP and see if they can suggest anything. Sorry not to be of more help.
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    my mum said to me she thought i had it , all you need is CONFIDENCE and EXERCISE and HARD WORK TO IMPROVE and MENTAL DETERMINATION

    i believe you can chnage yourself mentally whever you want
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    I concur was Asperger's.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've noticed that I don't really understand some social situations very well and what to do in them. It's quite difficult to explain, but it does include things such as not being able to read body language, etc, and having great difficulty making friends. It makes me feel very isolated and that I am different to everyone else, the best way of explaining it is that like everyone else is on one system that they all understand, and I am on another, which only I understand.
    If anyone requires any more explanation, please ask.

    Is there any way I could get help for this or 'fix it' at all?
    Hey OP I know EXACTLY where you're coming from I used to be the same way... And sometimes still feel like I am! Like everybody else is interacting and getting on well, and I'm this awkward bump in the social interaction, and I eventually stopped interacting so much I was basically felt like I was watching the world from behind a window :/

    All I can say is, just talk (: I know it can be hard, but you'll soon see that more often than not, when you think you've said something awkward, you haven't, and it was all in your head! And the body language thing and everything else comes with time, and it does take time (I apparently still don't look people in the eye when we're talking lol), but it gets better trust me (:

    Hang in there!! And most importantly, remember that most people are polite and friendly, and won't mind whatever you say! And when you meet people you wanna make friends with, the chemistry will automatically draw you close. All that you have to do, is try! Just be brave it'll be ok dw (:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've noticed that I don't really understand some social situations very well and what to do in them. It's quite difficult to explain, but it does include things such as not being able to read body language, etc, and having great difficulty making friends. It makes me feel very isolated and that I am different to everyone else, the best way of explaining it is that like everyone else is on one system that they all understand, and I am on another, which only I understand.
    If anyone requires any more explanation, please ask.

    Is there any way I could get help for this or 'fix it' at all?
    Doesn't necessarily mean you have a problem. I know what you mean, you feel like everyone else instinctively knows what to do and you're just there feeling left out because you don't get it. A bit like you'e been plonked in the middle of another country without any knowledge of the language or culture. I'm a bit like that, not all the time, but in certain situations. Sometimes I can get 'stuck' if it's really confusing, where I just freeze and stand there like an idiot lol. Do you have situations where you're not like this? Because for me it's only certain ones, there's plenty of times when I'm fine, I'm on the whole an outgoing person. I do have AS, this doesn't mean you do though, there's far more to it than just that. However this is part of the criteria, so if you fit the other parts, maybe look into it. No one here can say whether or not you have something, but it's worth talking to your GP about if you feel it's a problem. PM me if you want to, I'm happy to give you advice with this based on what I've learned.
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    dont ever say you have this because it will make things worse
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    (Original post by chrome96)
    dont ever say you have this because it will make things worse
    :confused:
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you for your replies. LipstickKisses and yellowpurpleyellow, what you described is like exactly how I feel, I thought I was the only one who felt like that...
    A few people have mentioned Asperger's, I suppose its a possibility that I could have it, but surely it would have been picked up by a doctor or someone, right?
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    sorry i feel the same way sometimes but i just throwback at what life gives me

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Updated: April 5, 2012
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