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I'm being followed by a seagull.

Srs thread, no joke.

It all began Friday when I was walking to the university library. There was a seagull, with a distinctive red spot on the upper left eye, perched on the black hand railing outside the Law School. I remember thinking it looked a bit bizarre perched there. When I walked past it, it seemed to look at me and I could sense an intelligence behind those eyes. It followed me as I went past. Exactly, 10 seconds later I heard a flutter of wings and a dollop of whitish poo hit my coat. After much cursing, I made it to the university library and gents toliets to clean the mess.

Then on Saturday, I spotted a seagull hanging around outside the library. It was attacking a paper bag quite viciously and occasionally stopping to look around as if to non-verbally ask whether anybody wanted to challenge it's territory. However, it immediately stopped to stare at me when I came within a 10 metre radius. It just sort of stood upright and cocked it's head towards me. I got a good look at it and recognised the red spot on the upper left eye. After giving it a resentful sigh, I turned back to go home. Exactly 1 mile later, as I was approaching a busy crossing, I felt a splat near me. A flutter wings brushed overheard and I caught a glimpse of the seagull with the red spot land a few feet ahead of me. :emo:

Monday (today): The seagull with the red spot on the upper left eye pictured below. Waiting for me near the bus stop which is nowhere near our last 2 encounters. It's the same one. It has it in for me. :emo:

I'm not paranoid. :pierre:

Advice?

Scroll to see replies

Invest in a shotgun

hide in your cellar and it'll soon move on gd luck hun

Reply 3

mczakk

wrap a teaspoon of baking soda in a slice of bread, and squish it into a small ball, feed to bird, do not tell anyone i suggested this.
:0

Reply 4

Agenda Suicide

Probably nothing, but funny nonetheless :P

Spoiler

Reply 5

Darth Stewie

You have to brutally kill it.

Seagulls never lose a trail, it will hunt you until the day you die. They are incredibly hard to trap but a well placed hatchet to the neck will do the job.

May god be with you, remember if it pecks you the virus is passed on and you become a seagull (unless you kill the seagull that pecked you before dawn of the next day ofc)

Read all about it in my latest book:

£12.99 RRP
£8.99 for students studying gullography

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 6

ak137

Now ive seen everything on TSR :pierre:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 7

The Polar Dude

Call the army.... this is some next ****

On the serious note......

Spoiler

Reply 8

Pavlina

Perhaps it is trying to warn you of the crime against fashion your coat is committing. If you have an ugly coat.
Otherwise, it's a message from the heavens and you must decipher it. Stare at the poop until the face of Albus Dumbledore appears in its depths. He will give you your next clue. Go forth, my friend.

Reply 9

Eunuch

Being **** on by a bird is meant to be lucky :borat:

Reply 10

johyy

tell the police! stalking is a crime..she'l get at lest 5 years!

Reply 11

User414413

Step one:

Step two:

Reply 12

Bromine

Lure it with a pack of ready salted walkers then pull your pants down and give it a taste of its own medicine.

On a more serious note, I don't know why but this reminded me of Crimewatch for some reason :p:

Reply 13

BrotherhoodForever

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL...ONE OF THE MOST FUNNIEST THREADS I'VE EVER READ...NO JOKE!

:yy:

This thread has honestly made my day.... :moon:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 14

qasidb

Even if this is a troll, it's still pretty funny. Why don't you just run towards it and it'll fly away? It'll show who's boss.

Reply 15

Josh_Dey

Haha a similar case was on Rude Tube, some fat middle aged guy was being ferociously swooped on by seagulls..

It's probably just a random attack, it'll go away soon enough.

:smug: