Well, to make it less complicated (hopefully) I'll make it brief.
There was this guy who was friends with a family friend, last summer we spent a bit of time together etc, he wanted to be more than friends, I didn't. Eventually he realised this, one day had a psycho at me because I said no to him sleeping in my bed. He (though text) called me a ****ing b****, get ****ed said he would rather kill himself than spend a day with me radeedah.
In the few months we spent "together" he started doing stuff with my dad, not often though.
Anyway I showed my mum the texts, she confronted him which of course he apologised to her for, said he didn't mean it blahblah, promised her he would apologise to me for. I only found out a few weeks ago that she asked him to apologise, and she only found out then that he hadn't.
Well this was a few months ago and he still keeps coming over to our place, (not in the actual house) and recently I overheard a comment from him about having to babysit me or something... he said it to my dog but it was in front of my mum, also she didn't say anything to him.
My father agreed at the time of breaking everything off with him, that he would only ever go do sport things with him, which I said was ok, yet recently he has been here at least 2hrs a week and my dad has even begun inviting him here!
Basically I just hate it when he is here and my parents don't seem to care what effect this is having on me. I tried to explain, like how would it feel if you had someone you hated and couldn't stand even hearing their voice hanging around all the time. It just makes me angry even to think about him, let alone knowing he is 20 feet from where I live several times a week. I just feel so angry and sad and bitter and everything, not only because of him but because my dad doesn't seem to care how much it upsets me?!
And a few months ago my mum made him a birthday cake. I nearly ripped my hair out. I once again said something like.. is it normal for mothers to make a cake for someone who has said horrible things to their daughter, never apologised, makes mean comments to, gives filthy looks to and likely still feels that way?! It was like she was applauding everything he does to me and showing him it's ok to do whatever he wants..
I have had many arguements with my mother (which I hate) but she doesn't seem to get it. I said if there was someone who had treated her the way he treated me, I would want to go out and stab them, not make them a cake! and I certainatly would not invite them over if I knew it would affect her the way this is affecting me!
My dad is impossible to talk to so that is no help, sorry it's incredibly long, replies would be great
How old are you and how old is he? (It does make a difference).
It sounds wrong to me, but it actually sounds so wrong that they aren't reacting that I suspect there may be other details we don't know. Otherwise, if you have said he has been harrassing you, and made it clear you don't like him near you, they are completely out of order.
Ok since then, I have moved out and I can't help but still feel angry towards my mum (and of course dad but I don't speak to him anyway), and I want to know is this ok???
I HATE feeling any kind of bad feelings towards her and it makes me feel guilty as hell because she does so much for me.. but are my feelings valid?
How do I forgive her or is there anything to forgive or is it all in my head?!