will this do me more harm than good? **** buddies question

really good avdvice thanks.

So, just a question- if i DONT sleep with him, but still be affectionate/cuddle/kiss etc is this still just as bad or not?

also, he said he fancies me, and i know im better than anyone hes been with (i realllly dont mean that in a nasty way) but he was generally with really disgusting chavs.

I know what you mean, but the problem is, we cannot predict, change or sometimes even understand other people's preferences. My best friend is gorgeous and her bf cheated on her with this mousy, muss less attractive girl. Physical beauty is an important factor in attracting men, but it is a much smaller part of keeping him around. Sometimes men can make a lot of effort with you for your physical attributes. A lot of guys are willing to jump through hoops, say things they don't mean and be affectionate with you if you are hotter than him, or at the very least hotter than the previous girls he's slept with, if he sees a chance of sex in the end.
But that short-lived sexual affection affection will end after he's had you or after he's met someone he considers better. Or maybe just as time goes by even if he hasn't had sex with you.
It's a hard pill to swallow for most women, but the fact is that the large majority of men, especially when they're young, seek sexual variation and different partners. The goal of banging different girls sometimes comes before banging the hottest one. Maybe he goes for chavy girls because it's his taste, maybe they're easier to bang, maybe he once fell for a girl like that and is looking for something similar. We don't know, and it really isn't worth for you to spend time trying to figure it out.

I am NOT saying that all men will avoid relationships. Men do stay faithful, but only in monogamous relationships, and certain factors are given: his love for her, their history together, his concern for her feelings, his respect for her and his moral standards. Unfortunately, this man does not feel that way about you. I highly doubt he will, and even if you spent years making him finally come around, he would most likely agree to a relationship he wasn't fully involved in, only to change his mind months later, and you will both have wasted time. Men tend to go for what they want. They are the pursuers in 99% of dating interactions. If he turns down the prospect of a relationship without as much as a "let's take some time to get to know each other", it is not worth a battle. For the future - whenever a man tells you he doesn't want a relationship, tell a friend and write it down on a note to yourself. This will force you to accept that he means it. And he does.

I understand you want him in your life, but you will basically stay in status quo while he will move on with his life. If you keep being physically intimate with him (even if that doesn't include sex), you will not emotionally move on. He has moved on - in fact, he was never emotionally involved to begin with. For you to hang around while he pursues other girls, is a form of highly unnecessary self-torture. He will not magically start to like you, and you will be kept from meeting someone new. You are attractive, and you are young. Most likely, there are much more action available for you out there than there is for him. Cut him off - facebook, skype, physical interaction, the works - and move on. This is coming from someone who took a year to get over a hopeless guy - you WILL meet someone new.

quite simply. you are awesome!