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still a virgin at 20

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    #1

    the title is self-explanatory. i consider myself to be moderately attractive, but am quite shy and don't have a large circle of friends. from the age of 13/14 ive been very conscious of my virginity, even though there's nothing abnormal about it at that age, but there is now i think.

    i just kept waiting for it to happen, and it didnt. i dont want to be promiscuous, but at the same time i dont want to get to my late twenties and still not have had sex.

    as far as i can tell the average age for losing one's virginity is 17 or 18. is that true?
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    Doesn't really matter, you shouldn't be getting peer pressure about sex so make sure that childish bullcrap isn't happening in your life.

    Just waiting for stuff to happen usually lands in things never happening, you have to act on your life. In any situation and that includes casual sex. However if you just want to experience it you can find many attractive women in brothels. Also, don't worry about averages, everyone is different.

    EDIT: I made the assumption you were man, apologies if you're not!
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    So? I didn't lose my virginity til a aweek after turning 21. You don't know what might happen in the next 6 weeks or the next 6 months. You could meet someone at the most unexpected time. Don't worry that because you're a virgin now, you will be by the time you're in your late 20's, it's unlikely, but then even if you are - again, so what?
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    I think the average age is 18 but most people probably lie about that too :P

    Don't worry about it OP. Virginity is not a big deal, it doesn't make you any more or less of a person. However at least you want to be with someone you are comfortable around, not some stranger
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    So? I was 22 and glad I waited. Who cares if your a virgin or not...the only person who does is you.

    Just wait until you really want to and you think its right and it will be good. no point in doing it for the sake of doing it. I waited til I was in love but that's not for everyone...but wait til its someone you are comfortable with:-)
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    I think it depends on what level of sex drive you have, im 21 and have loved a lot of sex for many years... im glad i didnt wait long.
    Most people dont have a high sex drive though.
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    (Original post by graffic)
    Your presumably referring to women.

    Go to any student union, most guys will hump anything that breathes given the chance. In fact, most men everywhere will
    Oh, believe me, i know.
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    I was just talking to my friend about this- I was really conscious of being 'too old' like you and lost mine at 17 but I was still very awkward and inexperienced until about 21... and my friend is 21 and has done 'stuff' but is still a virgin- I was quite surprised that it doesn't seem to bother her- her age I mean.

    If you don't want to be promiscuous then remember 'statistics' about when people have sex and how much includes crappy one night stands... so if I exclude casual/promiscuous sex I've had 2 people, first of those being at 19... and I've never had a boyfriend at 21 (which does bother me...)

    so idk- the worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it- loads of people our age have had loads of sex but they have no clue what the word relationship means, and will get knocked up/get someone knocked up and have a broken family and bad relationships with their children- my point being basically- the age you lose your virginity means nothing so don't compare yourself to others...

    if like me your frustrated at not experiencing a loving relationship then fair enough- but see it as something you want not something you think you should have...

    i don't know what to say about waiting for it to happen- I think if I wasn't such an outrageous drunk it wouldnt have happened so early for me either- but that isn't a good thing necessarily! I'm still waiting for a boyfriend to happen... its a common problem! xxx
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    I think it's practically impossible to not get laid at some point during your life. Stop worrying about it, the more you look for a problem the more you find.
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    (Original post by iamapokemon)
    So? I didn't lose my virginity til a aweek after turning 21. You don't know what might happen in the next 6 weeks or the next 6 months. You could meet someone at the most unexpected time. Don't worry that because you're a virgin now, you will be by the time you're in your late 20's, it's unlikely, but then even if you are - again, so what?
    Wise words.

    Most of the negativity about virgins comes from the virgin themselves. There's nothing to be negative about. Anyone that's genuinely interested in you will not mind, not if they care about you.
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    Wait until you start working in an office or somewhere. There'll be people in their 30s, 40s and older who've never done it. More than you might expect.
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    it is as big a deal as YOU make it. nobody else really cares.
    #2

    I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend and barely any experience with girls on any sort of intimate level, but a lot of friends and people i know have said i'm very attractive and that they wished they looked like me or would like to be with a guy like me etc.

    I don't feel peer pressure to lose my virginity, I'm just

    a) scared of ruining my chances with a girl by it being my first time and being embarrassingly bad at it

    and

    b) worried that i'm actually undesirable in some way, and that being the reason why nothing's ever happened for me.

    Sure, i'm not the most confident guy and i'm a little shy but i'm certainly not socially awkward. I have pretty high standards but so do most of my friends and they've all had more experience than me.

    When absolutely nothing has worked for you at the age of 19, not even by accident, it makes you wonder if there's genuinely something wrong with you.

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Updated: February 26, 2012
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