The Student Room Group

Facebook memorial groups

A family member I'm really close to has died recently, and one of these groups has sprung up. I accept that people grieve in different ways, but is Facebook really the place for it?

In addition, I'm absolutely furious that they've posted incredibly hollow 'rip m8 u were da best' type posts and then didn't even bother to attend the funeral (a fifteen minute walk away for most of them, and I told them all two weeks beforehand.)

Am I being callous?
Original post by Anonymous
A family member I'm really close to has died recently, and one of these groups has sprung up. I accept that people grieve in different ways, but is Facebook really the place for it?

In addition, I'm absolutely furious that they've posted incredibly hollow 'rip m8 u were da best' type posts and then didn't even bother to attend the funeral (a fifteen minute walk away for most of them, and I told them all two weeks beforehand.)

Am I being callous?


People do this on Facebook to either get sympathy or to make it look like they have a hard life. You're not being callous. You've seen 1st hand that people obviously don't care. It's embarrassing to see people do this. It's like people just completely change when they go on Facebook.

Facebook memorial groups are just forced and inappropriate for lots of reasons. For one reason once you post something out in the open like that you're open to trolling. Also it's like it's a competition to see who can post the most touching message, when did it become cool to force public outcries of grief? When I see someone start one I just think what a total dickhead, I can never be friends with this person.
all the facebook groups i have seen have been very moving, usually set up by close family members or best friends... i think it can help people cope with the grief..

for example i saw one started by the life long best friend of a young man who had died and it was obvious he was struggling immensely (and the family of the young boy).. and this was a way to help him remember and cope..
i've also heard of parents who have lost a child setting up pages to help show memorial

it's not new, people have been setting up memorial websites since the internet because popular.. facebook is just an easier and acessable way to do that.

i think different people do things differently. they don't cause harm so if it helps some people then there is no problem. if you don't like it remove it from your feed and don't visit it.
i know how you feel "they didn't even mean it" about that guy who posted on the website... when my very close family member died, only one or two of her supposed "best friends" came to the funeral. i was very angry with them for that, espeically as they obviously knew about it. then when they say "i'm sorry about **** dying" or something similar it just seems insulting..
but in the case of the guy you saw it doesn't sound like they were very close, i don't know why he bothered posting but it is the same as telling an aquaintance that you are sorry someone they loved died... you are sorry that they died but you don't really feel emotional about it because you didn't know them. just paying your respects.
Reply 3
I think people genuinely mean well by setting up memorial groups, and it is a way for people to say goodbye and pay their respects. Some of them might not have felt comfortable coming to the funeral - funerals are very personal and painful. For non-family members it can even feel intrusive to attend, especially if they don't know the family well.

If you don't like the group, hide it or report it, but I think you should leave it alone.

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