I'm 21, and I enrolled on an access course last year...only to find that it wouldn't get me on to the course I want to study at university so I dropped out, and I'm waiting to start at the open university this coming September so that I can apply to a red brick uni the following year - I wish I could've started in February, but by the time I found out in December it was too late to enrol.
I can't help but feel I'm wasting my life away. I have a growing emptiness inside of me, and can't remember the last time I was truly happy...in the back of my head I always think people are judging me.
The reason why I'm coming back to education after a few years is due to some personal issues I've had to overcome, and I thought I had gotten over these but I seem to be falling in to depression again.
The sad thing is I was really enjoying the access course, and now I'm not sure what to do up until September - I currently work three days a week, but I have nothing else going for me.
I feel like while everyone else is happy and living life I'm sat here watching my life go by. Even when I see students I get depressed as I wish I were in their shoes now - I don't know if this is normal but it gets to me a lot.
Also, one by one I've lost all my 'friends'... many of them were not genuine, and they don't really cross my mind but I do feel lonely - I am introverted anyway and I prefer being alone but I know this isn't healthy as it's beginning to upset me... I used to know how to have a good time, but now I think many would class me as boring as I find it hard to even hold conversations with people.
Typical days for me:
7am: Wake up, mope around the house for a bit... eventually get ready for work
9/10am - 6/7pm: Work
8pm: Home, watch tv/ go on the laptop/ attempt to tidy room, eat, go to bed
8am: Wake up and mope around
12pm: Maybe go to the gym
2pm: Come home, eat
Chill at home for the rest of the day
What I really want is some advice on how I can improve my life and better myself please. I would seriously appreciate any help right now as I'm at a loss on what to do with myself.
Many people go through bad times, sometimes I feel down too.
Try to hang out with friends (I found some of my friends were quite fed up too with just working everyday) and make new friends.
Talk to them about your issues and get involved with others who share similar interests.
I failed my A levels, retook, went to university switched course and ended up two years behind but I worked had in the last 4 years and caught up.
Now I think potientially I will achieve more than most so it is never too late to catch up.
Just keep in mind your goals, its just a matter of time before you reach them.