[Anonymous]

I'd really appreciate some advice, because I don't seem to be able to stop doing this.
I suffered from depression for a while as a young teen, but have been fine since I was about 16 or so (I'm now 21). It's not such a common thing now, but I still self harm; I have no idea why, and I don't know how to stop.
I have Trichotillomania, but mildly enough that no one seems to have noticed. I also cut myself every now and then. I really don't know why, and I don't know what to do to stop myself.

I know how absolutely ridiculous this sounds; to people who've never experienced it you'd think "just stopping" is simple, but it really isn't. If anyone has some advice I'd really appreciate it.

[lightburns]

There are two possible answers that I will give you.

Answer 1: your cuts are causing you to go to hospital.
I have a friend in this category. She frequently goes to hospital to stitch up her cuts because she gets to the point of blood spurting out. Doesn't want to kill herself. Just cuts too deep.
In this case, cutting is a problem in itself, as it is highly dangerous. I don't know how you can stop, but immediate urgent professional help is necessary.

Answer 2: your cuts are minor.
This is the self-harmer that I was during secondary school. In this case, it is far more sensible to try and deal with the cause rather than the self-harm (which is a symptom of the cause). Trying to deal with a single symptom often means that the cause transfers itself to a different symptom, because it still requires an outlet. As long as you keep a lid on it, and the problem doesn't enter into the first category I described, then you shouldn't worry too much about the self-harm. Society reacts strongly to minor self-harm; far more strongly than I think it ought to. Again, I don't know how you can find out what the cause is. But this is the route I would suggest going towards.

[Anonymous]

They do tend to be minor, although I've found myself TRYING to make the cuts bad enough to need stitches before (and I did succeed once).
One of my problems is I really don't know the cause. I don't know if I've misunderstood but are you suggesting that I shouldn't seek help unless I harm extremely badly?

[lightburns]

(Original post by Anonymous)
They do tend to be minor, although I've found myself TRYING to make the cuts bad enough to need stitches before (and I did succeed once).
One of my problems is I really don't know the cause. I don't know if I've misunderstood but are you suggesting that I shouldn't seek help unless I harm extremely badly?

If you feel you need help, you should seek help either way. Hospitalising cuts are dangerous, so need to be dealt with very very quickly. Minor cuts can be dealt with more slowly - so getting help is really down to whether you feel you need it or not. If you don't know the cause, perhaps it's best to get help, as you haven't been successful in finding out the cause yourself.

Finally.. as you say you are trying to make the cuts worse, that is meaning that you are potentially moving into the major cuts issue, so another vote for getting help.

Important notes: of course, I'm not living your life, so anything I say must be taken with a pinch of salt.
I am not suggesting that major cuts are caused by major mental problems, and minor cuts by minor mental problems. Not at all. It's just that you don't have time to go through mental difficulties slowly with major cuts due to the risk involved in them.

[amylaauren]

Firstly, It's awful that you're going through this. I used to self harm a few year back, and I still don't know why I did it.

You can't get help if you don't want to stop, but if you genuinely feel you want to stop and you need the help to do this, then you're going to have to get in touch with either a psychiatrist or somebody who is capable of helping.

You can do this

[Pareidolia]

Bottom line: seek help as soon as possible! Your post here is an indication that you know this behaviour isn't normal and you do want help. This is not something you're going to be able to stop without help or support. It is a real psychological problem and often a compulsion that many people cannot stop from doing.

The best advice is to either go to a psychologist or a doctor and explain this to them. They should be able to refer you to a therapist who might be able to stop you doing this over time.

I hope things get better for you.

[animalnitrate]

I echo what the posters above me have said. One thing to add is that you shouldn't feel bad if you try and try and try to stop doing it but give in each time - it takes a lot of time and patience to get to the point where you don't have to rely on it anymore. I've been self harming for nearly 3 years, I haven't cut in about 3 months but tonight I've relapsed. However, I know I can move on from this, and so can you.

[Bekkah321]

Make sure you're around the right people, confide in people. Try to make changes in your life.. take the things that don't make you feel so great and try do change them, be more social and other similar small actions.
I self harmed since I was 9 until I was 16 and i'd say I was able to stop by changing myself for the better