funniest jokes you have ever heard

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.





A man walked into a bar. Ouch.




I like the 'punny' jokes, so I've been laughing at quite a few of these

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.

I do nazi how either of those jokes are funny...

I do nazi how either of those jokes are funny...

Once upon a time, a little boy finished his first year of elementary school. It had been a very tough transition from pre-school to kindergarten, but he had worked very hard at learning to read and he made a lot of friends. His dad said, "Son, you did a great job this year, and as a reward, I will get you a present. What would you like?"

"I want one pink ping pong ball," said the boy. His dad thought that was strange and asked why. The son said, "Don't worry about it, I'll tell you when I graduate from high school."

The next year, he finished first grade, and once again his dad was very proud of him. He was doing really well in math and spelling, and he had lots of friends. "Son," said his dad, "You had a great year. What would you like for a present?" "I want five pink ping pong balls," said his son. "What are you going to do with all these pink ping pong balls?" asked his dad. "I'll tell you when I graduate," said the son.

A few more years passed, and soon the son finished fourth grade. He got decent grades and he had started playing soccer. His dad said, "Son, I'm so proud of you, and I'm going to get you a present. What would you like?" The son said, "I want 25 pink ping pong balls." His dad said, "Son, I'd really like to know what you are doing with all of these ping pong balls." The son said, "Dad, I'll tell you when I graduate."

A few years later, the son finished 6th grade. It was another tough transition into middle school, but he had kept his grades up and he was still playing soccer. His dad said, "Son, you did a great job this year. What would you like for a present?" The son said, " I want 100 pink ping pong balls." "Son," said the dad, exasperated, "what are you doing with all of these ping pong balls?" "I'll tell you when I graduate," he replied.

8th grade was another good year. The son got good grades and even ran for student council. Even though he didn't win, his dad was really proud of him, and offered once again to get him a present. "I want 500 pink ping pong balls," said the son. "Son, please tell me what you are doing with all of these ping pong balls," said his dad. "I'll tell you when I graduate high school," said his son.

Freshman year: going to high school was tough, but still good. He ran for student council VP and won. He also made the varsity soccer team and started playing football. His dad was so proud of him. "Son, you are amazing! I will get you a big present this year. What do you want?" "I want 1000 pink ping pong balls," said his son. "Tell me what you're doing with all of these pink ping pong balls!" demanded his father. "I'll tell you when I graduate," said his son.

Sophomore year was another great one. He was reelected to the vice presidency, and played varsity football and soccer. He also joined 6 clubs and got his driver's license. "Wow son, I'm so proud of you," said his dad. "I'll get you a really nice present. What do you want?" "I want 5000 pink ping pong balls," said his son. "Son, what could you possibly want with 5000 pink ping pong balls?" said his dad. "I'll tell you when I graduate," said the son.

Junior year was very tough academically, but he still got straight A's. He also got perfect SAT scores, was a captain of soccer and football, was the president of his class, and was a member of every club in the school. His dad was overwhelmed. "You are the best son any father could ask for. I will give you anything you want! I'll get you a car, a laptop-- anything! What do you want, son?" "Dad, I want 10000 pink ping pong balls," said the son. His father couldn't believe it. "Son, what are you doing with all of these ping pong balls," he asked. "I'll tell you next year when I graduate," he said.

Senior year was perfect. He was the valedictorian, captain of every sports team in the school, a member of every club, and got into every college he applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Oxford, and Cambridge. He was also very sexy. "Son," said his dad, "You are the greatest person on the face of the earth. It is a privilege to be your father. I will give you anything you want. Money, cars, a house-- anything you want, you name it, it's yours. I am so proud of you." "Dad, I want 100,000 pink ping pong balls," said his son. "Son, you're a senior now. Please tell me what you're doing will all of these ping pong balls." "I'll tell you tomorrow night after graduation," said his son.

The next day, the son was driving to graduation and was involved in a horrible car accident. The doctors told his dad that he was in very critical condition. His dad went over to his bed and told him he loved him and how proud he was. Then he asked the question that had ben plaguing him for so many years: "Son," he said, "I have to know. What are you doing with all of those pink ping pong balls?"

The son opened his mouth to answer him...