I was diagnosed with depression in January (though it has been around for years, but January is when I finally had the guts to seek a diagnosis). I've been on fluoxetine since then and have felt a little better at times, however I've been in a really bad patch for nearing a week now.
I have a massive urge to smash the back of my head into a wall, it feels like it's the only thing that'll stop the pain, so far I've resisted this impulse, but it's really hard.
The psych I saw as part of the community mental health team gave me a phone number that I should call if I get worsening symptoms etc but I'm really scared that they'll section me or something horrific like that. I can't last much more of this, but I'm so scared about what they'll do if I do contact them. I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Does anyone have any idea what the reaction would be if I did make contact?
I think being honest is important, if they feel you are of a serious risk to yourself they will raise this with you. I have a crisis plan and I have done some harm reduction stuff around my SI which has been useful.
To be quite honest, they'll probably just tell you to take a bath or go for a nice long walk.
It takes a massive amount for you to be sectioned - often even people who are suicidal don't have it happen to them. You only start being on shaky ground once you can be deemed a risk to yourself or others, and by risk we're talking about causing death or major injuries. While I feel for you and can understand that you might want to hurt yourself, being sectioned really isn't something you should be worrying about for now.
CMHTs aren't always the greatest, but if that's the main help you're getting right now then you should use it. Give them a ring if you like, and see what they suggest to help you. Like I said they often come out with some fairly feeble advice, but they can also do other stuff like dispense meds (e.g. sleeping pills) if you really could do with them, and it might just help to know there are people out there looking out for you.
If you haven't seen it already, the depression society on here is a really great means of support aside from the NHS, and we're all very welcoming of newcomers.
I had to go to the crisis team at A&E twice this week for suicidal thoughts & self harm, I'd being on fluexotine since the end of December, I was taking it for anxiety which it treated really well, however the drug gave me depression. I'd had a really bad reaction to it, it had done more harm than it did good & I'm now off it. I really advise you to tell the mental health team, they can advise you on what to do, and if you need to stop taking the medication. The thing is about prozac is that it's known for causing these kind of effects, particuarly in people under 25. I know it's hard, but things have to get worsre before they can get better. Trust me this week has being awful but now I've had a few days of the prozac I'm feeling much better!