Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

What to think of a guy who didn't pay for the first date....

Announcements Posted on
    • Thread Starter
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Firstly, I invited him over mine and cooked for him, he suggested bringing wine and I told him that would be nice. When he got to mine, he put in the fridge. We didn't end up drinking it because the evening lead to early sex. The next mooring, he let his self out and took the wine with him. Slightly rude I thought... Secondly, a couple days later he cooked for me at his, I tried but couldnt stomach eating the praws he made so I just ate the rice. I stopped at his that night, and told him I was hungry asking if he had any crisps in...he told me that I was demanding, I asked again and he got me some (baring in mind, we had dinner and desert at mine and snacked). We had sex, again. After that a couple days later we went on our ' first date' playing crazy golf which he asked to be payed for separately. He has a wealthy background but seems so un-attractively cheap. If he payed for the crazy golf, I would have insisted we go out for a meal after on me (even if it amounted to more). I just think it was rather tacky and for a first date too! He's a nice guy but this has really gotten to me, so much there might not be a second date.
    • 2 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    i dont think a guy should be EXPECTED to pay for a first date, but he should at least offer.
    Its the gentlemanly thing to do, just like it would be polite for the woman to offer to go halves.

    He does sound a bit tight to me! Play it ou a bit longer and see how it goes. Maybe he thinks your expecting him to pay :/

    Taking the wine with him was totally rude though!! How cheap
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I would think, good on him for standing up to an irrational gendered societal norm.

    Then I would wonder what I'm doing on a date with a guy in the first place, me being the raging hot piece of hetero that I am.
    • 24 followers
    Offline

    Good for him tbf, you only get the luxury of the guy paying when you deserve it
    • 13 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    lolz we do this all the time...but when i guy does it
    :eek: call the cops
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    If we were only looking at not paying on the first date, I'd say "meh." I guess it depends for me. If a guy asked me out, it would be nice if he offered to pay. But even if he did, I'd still insist on paying my half. But it's nice to hear it. However, it's not a big deal if he wants to pay separately.

    HOWEVER, there seem to be a few other things at play here.

    1. He came over for a date and took his wine home? That seems a little weird.
    2. He thinks you're demanding because you wanted some crisps?
    3. He wanted to pay separately.

    I might write off those things individually, but all together they do raise some eyebrows. I wouldn't tell you to break up with him or anything, but I'd keep an eye on him. I'm not saying he should always pay for everything. When my boyfriend and I go out we always split everything 50/50. However, if it were me, I would be annoyed to have a stingy boyfriend who rolled his eyes and called me demanding when I just wanted some crisps :/
    • Thread Starter
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    It's a bit strange yeah
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    As a woman I'd be glad to pay for myself, I don't see why you should expect a man to pay... and good on him that he doesn't feel he should pay for you in all honesty. You're not a child and he isn't responsible for you..why should he pay?
    • 20 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I think calling you demanding cos you asked for some crisps is a bit much, unless he was trying to be jokey? Splitting the bill is perfectly acceptable though, it's the 21st century! Why should he pay just because he's a bloke?
    • 24 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunflower404)
    I invited him over mine and cooked for him, he suggested bringing wine and I told him that would be nice. When he got to mine, he put in the fridge. We didn't end up drinking it because the evening lead to early sex. The next mooring, he let his self out and took the wine with him
    Bought you a bottle of wine, got you to cook for him on a first date, banged you before a drop of alcohol had even touched your lips, and took his bottle of wine on the way out?

    Max LAD! :awesome:

    (Original post by sunflower404)
    I was hungry asking if he had any crisps in...he told me that I was demanding, I asked again and he got me some ... We had sex, again
    So he's ungenerous/rude to you and you still put out.. the LAD strikes again

    (Original post by sunflower404)
    we went on our ' first date' playing crazy golf which he asked to be payed for separately. He has a wealthy background but seems so un-attractively cheap. If he payed for the crazy golf, I would have insisted we go out for a meal after on me (even if it amounted to more). I just think it was rather tacky and for a first date too! He's a nice guy but this has really gotten to me, so much there might not be a second date.
    Let me guess, there was sex after this 'first date' too? :laugh:
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunflower404)
    Firstly, I invited him over mine and cooked for him, he suggested bringing wine and I told him that would be nice. When he got to mine, he put in the fridge. We didn't end up drinking it because the evening lead to early sex. The next mooring, he let his self out and took the wine with him. Slightly rude I thought... Secondly, a couple days later he cooked for me at his, I tried but couldnt stomach eating the praws he made so I just ate the rice. I stopped at his that night, and told him I was hungry asking if he had any crisps in...he told me that I was demanding, I asked again and he got me some (baring in mind, we had dinner and desert at mine and snacked). We had sex, again. After that a couple days later we went on our ' first date' playing crazy golf which he asked to be payed for separately. He has a wealthy background but seems so un-attractively cheap. If he payed for the crazy golf, I would have insisted we go out for a meal after on me (even if it amounted to more). I just think it was rather tacky and for a first date too! He's a nice guy but this has really gotten to me, so much there might not be a second date.
    You ****ed him twice before he even took you out on a date.. what makes you think his gonna pay for you LMFAO
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Splitting the cost of a date isn't in itself 'off' behaviour. My boyfriend and I generally take it in turns to pay for things like going out for dinner and going to the cinema. He paid for our first proper date but I offered to split it with him. However, there are other ways to be gentlemanly and there's nothing worse than a girl who expects her way to be paid for her all the time (you are obviously not one of those girls).

    That said, taking the bottle of wine back from your fridge? That sounds pretty cheap. You could've easily cracked it open the next time you two were at yours and the fact that he took it on the way out is a bit of a dick move. Depending on how jokey he sounded when he said you were demanding for wanting a packet of crisps, he doesn't exactly sound like a nice guy. Bearing it mind that you've slept with him twice and, if he is a bit of a dick, he probably doesn't care about impressing you all that much.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I saw your other thread about this guy too. Having money sense is good, even when you're rich enough to not really need it, and expecting the girl to at least chip in to the cost of a date is modern, but he could have asked you if you'd like to keep the wine. With regard calling you demanding for asking for crisps - when you couldn't eat the prawns, what did you say? That you were full? Or the truth that you couldn't stomach them? If the former, he may have been offended and realised that you actually just didn't want his prawns when you said that you were full, and if the latter he may also have been offended. So that one kinda seems like a lose/lose for you. If this really outweighs anything you like about him, then don't see him again.
    • 3 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I think its a bit lame how he took the wine back etc to be honest. To me it almost seems like he's trying to make a point of saying look I wont pay for anything for you. I go halves all the time, can imagine how awkward it is for guys not knowing if they are *expected* to pay when it should really go halves anyway. With my boyfriend we always just went halves from the start.

    It would bug me to be honest, I'd be a bit like if he's making this much effort to say hey look I'm not paying for everything I'd be like pfft kind of thing. Like me personally I would forgo £10 for mini golf to look like a nice guy (even though I'm a girl ) instead of stopping and saying 'please can we pay separately' and looking like a right tight wad. But that's just me. Maybe he's been taken advantage of in the past but yeah it would bug me. A lot
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunflower404)
    He has a wealthy background but seems so un-attractively cheap. If he payed for the crazy golf, I would have insisted we go out for a meal after on me (even if it amounted to more).
    First of all, you might have to see this from HIS pespective. If he is from a rich background, he might be wary that a girl might be going after him simply because he has money. Trust me, if I were in his position, I'd be worried too. I would make sure that the girl is actually there for *me* and not my money, so I might do what he's doing for some time until I'm certain she won't skip out when she's finished with me and is genuinely interested for me.

    At the same time, though, maybe he's a bit stingy (seeing how he reacted to the crisps situation). Just understand it's not all one viewpoint
    • 6 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    What a cheapskate! All of those things put together are stingy!

    I do kind of agree with some of the sentiments above, make him work harder for you rather than having sex without much effort on his part
    • 16 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sunflower404)
    Firstly, I invited him over mine and cooked for him, he suggested bringing wine and I told him that would be nice. When he got to mine, he put in the fridge. We didn't end up drinking it because the evening lead to early sex. The next mooring, he let his self out and took the wine with him.
    Hahahaha. What a hero.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Just because he's from a rich background doesn't necessarily mean his parents give him any of it?

    Taking the wine back is a little odd, and calling you demanding is a little bit nasty (although I imagine he might have been slightly upset if you refused to eat the meal he spent time preparing for you and then asked for a snack) but I don't think it's wrong to not offer to pay on the first date. But that's just me and personally I feel a lot more relaxed when the guy lets me pay for myself.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    Maybe it was a very expensive bottle of wine.
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pinkangelgirl)
    i dont think a guy should be EXPECTED to pay for a first date, but he should at least offer.
    Its the gentlemanly thing to do, just like it would be polite for the woman to offer to go halves.

    He does sound a bit tight to me! Play it ou a bit longer and see how it goes. Maybe he thinks your expecting him to pay :/

    Taking the wine with him was totally rude though!! How cheap
    So it's polite for a man to offer to pay for 100% and it's polite for a woman to offer to pay 50%.

    Convenient morality you have going there for yourself.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: March 8, 2012
New on TSR

What do you think of the BBC?

UK Parliament wants to hear your views

Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.