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He always wanted sex now he doesnt even come near me? why?

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    (Original post by Zangoose)
    I waited for a year... But I was a virgin so I suppose I didn't feel like I was "missing out" on anything. That's a factor to take into consideration.
    I always wonder if I would have been that patient if I wasn't a virgin. I like to think I would have, because I'm not all about the sex, but who knows? Sex is like a drug and if he was used to getting some in a previous relationship, he is obviously having withdrawal symptoms.

    OP, I don' think there's a problem with the relationship itself or the people in it. It's just a clash of experiences and ideology.
    I waited 6 months when I was a virgin To be honest, the relationship was good before that stage but man it was 10000x times better after that stage :cool:

    I think as you get older you kinda realise that you actually have a lot more options on your plate, and that girls holding out are sometimes a waste of precious time and energy. At least I have to an extent
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    (Original post by Care-Free)
    It's not playing hard to get at all! it's making sure that someone isn't just going to use us for a quick shag then throw us in the gutter when they're done! it's making sure we can connect on other levels before becoming intimate and then regretting it. Believe it or not some girls have a sense of decency and dont just open their legs for every tom dick and harry that comes by.
    I am sorry, but are you serious? USING YOU FOR SEX? Are you sure you are an adult? Look at this ****ed up attitude towards sex. You make it as if we own you something, that's it's your gift that we can have sex. I am sorry, within the context of legal consensual sex, nobody uses ANYBODY for sex, unless the guy lies to you that HE LOVES YOU and you gives him sex based on that EXPECTATION. The concept of using somebody for sex is bull**** and utter crap.

    If you think that the fact you make guys wait longer to have sex, just to lure them into your relationship trap makes you any better than a girl who is very comfortable with her sexuality and is ready to give up herself to the most worthy and strong male, then you are WRONG. You are not any more decent than a girl who enjoys both sexual relationship and casual sex.

    The fact that females choose sex partner, when and where to have sex is totally undisputed. But males always have a choice to simply walk away and start the mating process once again with any other females he finds attractive. And trust me when I say hot guys with full confidence and self-esteem never wait, he has options in his bag and his attention to you has an expiry date.


    Every single one of my sexual partners have been willing to wait until i was ready and anyone that wasnt willing to wait was out on their arse in a matter of seconds.
    Is the sex good, crazy and fulfill your fantasy honey?

    OP well done for waiting, if it was too much for him then he's not the kind of guy you want to be having sex with. On the other hand, maybe talk to him about it, there may have been a misunderstanding or the spark may have simply fizzled out.
    Look at this attitude and learn from it. This is how females view you if you guys don't have a sense of self-worth and wait for too long.
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    (Original post by Ortegas)
    I am sorry, but are you serious? USING YOU FOR SEX? Are you sure you are an adult? Look at this ****ed up attitude towards sex. You make it as if we own you something, that's it's your gift that we can have sex. I am sorry, within the context of legal consensual sex, nobody uses ANYBODY for sex, unless the guy lies to you that HE LOVES YOU and you gives him sex based on that EXPECTATION. The concept of using somebody for sex is bull**** and utter crap.

    If you think that the fact you make guys wait longer to have sex, just to lure them into your relationship trap makes you any better than a girl who is very comfortable with her sexuality and is ready to give up herself to the most worthy and strong male, then you are WRONG. You are not any more decent than a girl who enjoys both sexual relationship and casual sex.
    The fact that females choose sex partner, when and where to have sex is totally undisputed. But males always have a choice to simply walk away and start the mating process once again with any other females he finds attractive. And trust me when I say hot guys with full confidence and self-esteem never wait, he has options in his bag and his attention to you has an expiry date.
    Is the sex good, crazy and fulfill your fantasy honey?
    Look at this attitude and learn from it. This is how females view you if you guys don't have a sense of self-worth and wait for too long.
    Waiting doesnt mean they dont have a sense of self worth it means they can keep their dick in their pants long enough until the girl FEELS COMFORTABLE

    if i slept with every single one of my partners (1) i'd be labelled as a slut, (2) i'd regret it.

    There's nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality and being happy to have sex early on, the fact is that not everyone is comfortable with it, not everyone wants to be that vulnerable to every guy they feel any kind of attraction to.

    You say you dont own us and yet you act as if it's your god given right to chuck a girl to the side if she wants to get to know you before you start mindlessy pounding into her, sex is meant to be an enjoyable, intimate act, how can a girl enjoy it if she feels pressured into it?


    there's a name for people who force others into have sex when they're not comfortable with it sweetheart
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    (Original post by Care-Free)
    Waiting doesnt mean they dont have a sense of self worth it means they can keep their dick in their pants long enough until the girl FEELS COMFORTABLE
    Alright, then I guess you shouldn't have any problem if any of them is out shagging another chick while waiting for you. That's okay I guess. If you don't push guys into the monogamous zone then I am fine.

    Just understand this clearly: Until sex happens, we are nothing but platonic friends, and you have no ****ing right to get jealous or force a guy to stay "loyal" to you. Indeed, that's how it is. We can give you time to warm up and get ready, meanwhile, we gonna find some other girls who are ready for some actions, got it?

    if i slept with every single one of my partners (1) i'd be labelled as a slut, (2) i'd regret it.
    I can understand the slut label, which is just societal bull****, but I don't know why you regret. If you ever regret for having sex with your partners, then don't. It is an insult to a man's face to say it is my regret to ever have sex with you. What do you think we guys are?

    There's nothing wrong with being comfortable with your sexuality and being happy to have sex early on, the fact is that not everyone is comfortable with it, not everyone wants to be that vulnerable to every guy they feel any kind of attraction to.
    There is a difference between waiting for you to warm up and waiting for you while you string us along with a hidden agenda and do not appreciate our efforts, just like Rebecca here shows us. 5 months without sex and yet the OP still complains, what do you think about it? It's plainly wrong and the guy has all the right to walk away to find someone else, which I think he should do this earlier, maximum 2 weeks to 1 month.

    You say you dont own us and yet you act as if it's your god given right to chuck a girl to the side if she wants to get to know you before you start mindlessy pounding into her, sex is meant to be an enjoyable, intimate act, how can a girl enjoy it if she feels pressured into it?
    I am not god, I am a man who act consistently to his natural instinct. I can be persistent if necessary but there is an expiry date for attraction, and you should know this as well. Sex is not simply intimate, it's about the tension that makes you want to blow your mind. By the 5 months after all the craps, what do you expect, some missionary positions and then turn to one side and sleep?

    It is indeed a divine right for a man to have a want to have sex with a woman. If a woman uses sex as a weapon to manipulate him into things that he is not ready and is not looking for at the moment, he has the right to chuck her aside and find someone else who appreciates him more.

    there's a name for people who force others into have sex when they're not comfortable with it sweetheart
    That surely doesn't apply to me, there is a name for a girl who constantly strings guy along just for fun and for her attention need, it's called a stuck-up bitch, got it?
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    (Original post by Ortegas)
    That surely doesn't apply to me, there is a name for a girl who constantly strings guy along just for fun and for her attention need, it's called a stuck-up bitch, got it?
    Or a prick tease.

    Sex is fun, and if you need 6 months or whatever before you're gonna do it, not only are you missing out, but you're using sex as a reason to keep stringing someone along.
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    (Original post by Ortegas)
    Alright, then I guess you shouldn't have any problem if any of them is out shagging another chick while waiting for you. That's okay I guess. If you don't push guys into the monogamous zone then I am fine.
    Just understand this clearly: Until sex happens, we are nothing but platonic friends, and you have no ****ing right to get jealous or force a guy to stay "loyal" to you. Indeed, that's how it is. We can give you time to warm up and get ready, meanwhile, we gonna find some other girls who are ready for some actions, got it?
    I can understand the slut label, which is just societal bull****, but I don't know why you regret. If you ever regret for having sex with your partners, then don't. It is an insult to a man's face to say it is my regret to ever have sex with you. What do you think we guys are?
    There is a difference between waiting for you to warm up and waiting for you while you string us along with a hidden agenda and do not appreciate our efforts, just like Rebecca here shows us. 5 months without sex and yet the OP still complains, what do you think about it? It's plainly wrong and the guy has all the right to walk away to find someone else, which I think he should do this earlier, maximum 2 weeks to 1 month.
    I am not god, I am a man who act consistently to his natural instinct. I can be persistent if necessary but there is an expiry date for attraction, and you should know this as well. Sex is not simply intimate, it's about the tension that makes you want to blow your mind. By the 5 months after all the craps, what do you expect, some missionary positions and then turn to one side and sleep?
    It is indeed a divine right for a man to have a want to have sex with a woman. If a woman uses sex as a weapon to manipulate him into things that he is not ready and is not looking for at the moment, he has the right to chuck her aside and find someone else who appreciates him more.
    That surely doesn't apply to me, there is a name for a girl who constantly strings guy along just for fun and for her attention need, it's called a stuck-up bitch, got it?
    I think it's wrong for OP to make her boyfriend (if thats what he is) wait for 5 months and then slag him off to an internet forum without first sitting him down and asking what the issue is. However she hasnt disregarded everything (if anything) he's done for her she's stating her dismay and her confusion at the sudden distance hes created without explaining the problem to her.

    I do not think that asking a guy to wait can be classed as 'stringing him along'. When i ask a guy to wait for me im saying "i'm really into you and think we could be really good together, please give me some time to get used to you so that i am comfortable to have sex with you"

    If we're not truly comfortable with someone then how can we communicate effectively to have a good sex life, if i wasn't comfortable with my partner i wouldn't tell him what i do and dont like, i wouldnt be able to tell him what i want from sex, i'd be a blundering, blushing idiot and i wouldn't enjoy it.

    Some of us have an enjoyable sex life because we've taken the time to get to know one another and feel comfortable telling each other what we want. Admittedly that's not how it works for everyone but it is for some and it's wrong of you not to respect that.

    I disagree completely with the bit in bold. Sex doesnt give people the right to be jealous or claim to be more than friends, what about those who have casual sex, friends with benefits, one night stands etc, they dont have the right to get jealous either. The 'right' to be jealous (and i use that term loosely given that no one chooses jealousy) depends on the couple, it's different for everyone. If a couple have agreed to be in a mutually exclusive relationship then they are both agreeing to stay faithful, if only one person agrees to stay faithful bit then its not really an exclusive relationship and neither has the right to dictate the others sexual activities.

    I would have a problem if me and my partner BOTH agreed to be with one another in an exclusive relationship regardless of whether or not we have sex. If my partner was to say "actually until you have sex with me, we're not mutually exclusive" then it would be up to me to either agree or to end it there and then. It all depends on the circumstances upon which the couple have agreed.

    Out of curiosity, whats your view on people who remain celibate until marriage?

    Edit: just a little side note, if someone was to say "actually waiting isnt my style, we either have sex or we're not together" thats fine, that makes sense and thats them putting their sexual preferences across. Sexual compatibility is important and people with completely differing views obviously aren't sexually compatible.
    What OP's 'partner' has done is "yeah im fine to wait for you" and then got distant because of it (or such is the assumption) that's not okay, if anything he'd led her on by staying with her and then making her feel bad.
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    (Original post by Care-Free)
    I think it's wrong for OP to make her boyfriend (if thats what he is) wait for 5 months and then slag him off to an internet forum without first sitting him down and asking what the issue is. However she hasnt disregarded everything (if anything) he's done for her she's stating her dismay and her confusion at the sudden distance hes created without explaining the problem to her.
    No, she is confused because she is not used to such a withdrawal of attention. He constantly gives her attention for free while she gives him nothing back. This is clearly HIS fault. Adding to this balance you will see that a man wants sex and a woman wants attention, that doesn't mean women don't want sex. In this case, since she is so used to free attention and has developed a self-entitled attitude, it is very clear that she doesn't even know what has happened, because constantly in her mind she only asks the question: What did he do to me? Instead of what did I do to him? The moment when she switches the question, she will get the answer.

    A woman who wants sex with different partners is not a slut. Anyone who calls you a slut for that is not worthy to talk to. Slut is a monster crawling out of males' insecurity. It also comes from his Madonna/Whore Complex that hindres him to perceive his female partner as a sexual partner.

    I do not think that asking a guy to wait can be classed as 'stringing him along'. When i ask a guy to wait for me im saying "i'm really into you and think we could be really good together, please give me some time to get used to you so that i am comfortable to have sex with you"
    No, not at all if you need a longer time to warm yourself up, this applies exactly to the situation where you keep resisting the guy even when you are on bed, resistance doesn't equal to rejection, it simply means that you are very attracted to him but you just need a little more patience and persistence so that your body and soul can catch up with him before you two turn on the turbo engines.

    At the same times, the guy should prove that he is not DYING to have sex with you, which means he shouldn't be so NEEDY for it. He can try persuade you to have sex with him because he is attractive, but do not blow up your phone and urge you for a quick meet-up that leads to sex. However, confused as it seems, he should understand that there is a limit and waiting too long means he is not available to you anymore. So there is something that must be matched between two individuals. If you cannot accept him for wanting sex quickier than your time to warm up, than I guess that can be classified as sexual incompatibility. In that case, it's the guy job to call it off and withdraw attention, then divert it to someone who is more compatible with him.

    Personally, I cannot wait for more than 2 weeks, since I am a very high sex-drive person. If I cannot have sex for 1 week, it's already an itch. Of course, some guys can have a lower sex-drive and can wait for that.

    If we're not truly comfortable with someone then how can we communicate effectively to have a good sex life, if i wasn't comfortable with my partner i wouldn't tell him what i do and dont like, i wouldnt be able to tell him what i want from sex, i'd be a blundering, blushing idiot and i wouldn't enjoy it.
    I agree on this

    Some of us have an enjoyable sex life because we've taken the time to get to know one another and feel comfortable telling each other what we want. Admittedly that's not how it works for everyone but it is for some and it's wrong of you not to respect that.
    And I respect that, at no times did I say I don't respect what you want.

    I disagree completely with the bit in bold. Sex doesnt give people the right to be jealous or claim to be more than friends, what about those who have casual sex, friends with benefits, one night stands etc, they dont have the right to get jealous either. The 'right' to be jealous (and i use that term loosely given that no one chooses jealousy) depends on the couple, it's different for everyone. If a couple have agreed to be in a mutually exclusive relationship then they are both agreeing to stay faithful, if only one person agrees to stay faithful bit then its not really an exclusive relationship and neither has the right to dictate the others sexual activities.
    Good

    I would have a problem if me and my partner BOTH agreed to be with one another in an exclusive relationship regardless of whether or not we have sex. If my partner was to say "actually until you have sex with me, we're not mutually exclusive" then it would be up to me to either agree or to end it there and then. It all depends on the circumstances upon which the couple have agreed.
    Remind you that it's you who always take the decision when and where sex starts, you may also be the one who cut off the relationship part. As we all know, males are static, females are dynamic. Males can be viewed as nucleus while females are electrons.

    For me, I do not enjoy an exclusive relationship, so bargaining sex for exclusivity is an unreal deal to put on the table.

    As men, we won't come up to you to say "Until you have sex with me, we're not mutually exclusive". We show it from our actions, such as constantly flirting with other females and seeking sex from them as well, since we are simply following our instincts. Giving a guy drama just because he has other people in his life while the connection between you and him has not surpassed the platonic threshold is unforgivable.

    Out of curiosity, whats your view on people who remain celibate until marriage?
    I have not met many of these peoples, however, I know some chicks who constantly want to be virgins before they meet their white knights and then we agree on anal sex, which is fun anyways.

    Seriously, you should understand that sex is not gonna last forever, especially for you girls. You are young and at the pinnacle of mating process, once you surpass your age, your look diminishes and you will have less chance than younger females, this is the time for you to have sex with many guys you like to form a general understanding about the opposite sex.

    I am not saying older women are any less attractive than younger ones, I have enjoyed both and find a different kind of attraction from older women, but I don't like girls using their look power to string guys along, that's utterly bull****.
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    Edit: just a little side note, if someone was to say "actually waiting isnt my style, we either have sex or we're not together" thats fine, that makes sense and thats them putting their sexual preferences across. Sexual compatibility is important and people with completely differing views obviously aren't sexually compatible.
    What OP's 'partner' has done is "yeah im fine to wait for you" and then got distant because of it (or such is the assumption) that's not okay, if anything he'd led her on by staying with her and then making her feel bad.
    There is clearly a responsibility on his side for putting up with this too long. He should indeed cut it off and move on already. However, you cannot refuse the girl's responsibility for ignoring a man's need and simply get used to constant attention.

    This is why you never see me behave like a gentleman with a female I haven't slept with. I am always a nice, polite, flirty, witty and sexual person, but I never go on long dates, or watch some movies at a theatre, or engage in other activities that only couples do it. A drink or two from a fancy bar, or cooking together at my place or hers is fine, a movie before we are ready for action.

    As a guy, you should be swift and be responsible to push things forward until it hits the maximum limit, once you realise that your partner is not who you are looking for, withdraw and spend time with someone else.

    In your eyes, no females are that special until she sleeps with you and integrate herself into your life.
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    OP, I think the best thing you can do, is talk to him! He can't be a bad guy if he's waited 5 months. I get the feeling he's trying to make you feel, how you made him feel by refusing the sex. I hope it works out for you x
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    (Original post by CaligulazBaby)
    Quite simply you made him wait too long for sex and now he's not interested in you anymore. Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved. What you've said about repulsion is how he felt for the time you guys weren't doing anything. Tbh he must have liked you a lot to wait 4/5 months.
    No they don't? Great of you to generalise us all but we're not all like that. Sure sex is an important element of any relationship but it isn't essential to feel loved. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Ortegas)
    There is clearly a responsibility on his side for putting up with this too long. He should indeed cut it off and move on already. However, you cannot refuse the girl's responsibility for ignoring a man's need and simply get used to constant attention.

    This is why you never see me behave like a gentleman with a female I haven't slept with. I am always a nice, polite, flirty, witty and sexual person, but I never go on long dates, or watch some movies at a theatre, or engage in other activities that only couples do it. A drink or two from a fancy bar, or cooking together at my place or hers is fine, a movie before we are ready for action.

    As a guy, you should be swift and be responsible to push things forward until it hits the maximum limit, once you realise that your partner is not who you are looking for, withdraw and spend time with someone else.

    In your eyes, no females are that special until she sleeps with you and integrate herself into your life.
    I agree, if he's not comfortable waiting this long then he should've cut it off and moved on. The fact is that he hasnt. He's become distant, he hasnt spoken to her about it, he's hurt her feelings and left her confused. He should have just told her its not working and moved on, but he didn't, he's making her feel bad and she has every right to be upset about it much in the same way that she would have the right to be upset with him for becoming distant if they WERE sexually active.

    Personally i think you should be a gentleman to someone just because it's a decent human being thing to do, i hold doors open for people even if i dont want to have sex with them, i'll go on dates to the cinema and pay just because i want to, i'll go out for a few drinks with someone and engage them in flirty fun conversation because im a social person...not because i want them inside me....(this is of course all when im single)

    Not being sexually active with someone isnt a reason to disregard them as a human, surely you're a gentleman toward female friends? female strangers? (i.e holding doors ect...although where chivalry ends and general manners begin is a little hazy)
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    A lot of girls make guys wait because a lot of guys have a habit of pretending to be romantically interested in a girl, then as soon as she sleeps with them they're not interested any more. They like the thrill of the chase and string you along making you think they want a relationship until they get what they want.

    It's happened to me and a lot of my friends. I went on four dates with a guy over a period of a month, we slept together then I never heard from him again, found out all the time we knew each other he'd been sleeping with other girls. I don't blame people for waiting, maybe 4 or 5 months is a bit long but it's better than jumping into bed with guys straight away, because 9 times out 10 they're not romantically interested in you at all and just want sex. Not all guys are like that, but unfortunately a lot are.
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    (Original post by Serentonin)
    Or a prick tease.

    Sex is fun, and if you need 6 months or whatever before you're gonna do it, not only are you missing out, but you're using sex as a reason to keep stringing someone along.
    This is so true. If you're making a point of holding back sex, then all you're doing is stringing that person along. Which is no better than the person who just wanted a quick shag in the first place.
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    (Original post by navarre)
    This is so true. If you're making a point of holding back sex, then all you're doing is stringing that person along. Which is no better than the person who just wanted a quick shag in the first place.
    You're not stringing someone along if you actually are going to sleep with them, making someone wait a couple of months isn't tricking them or stringing them along. It's just a way to make sure they actually want a relationship with you. Pretending to want a relationship with someone just to get them to sleep with you is stringing someone along.
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    Any man who has things going for him will NOT wait 4/5/6 months etc for sex when they're in an exclusive relationship.

    Does it really take 5 months to get 'comfortable' (whatever that means) with someone else enough to have sex with them?

    Generally the only guys who will stick around are those without a high sex drive, inexperienced or those who don't have other options.

    To OP: your boyfriend probably lost patience with waiting. It's reasonable to put off having sex for a few weeks, maybe a month if you're inexperienced, but to string him along for 5 months? no wonder he's disillusioned with the relationship, you might as well just be friends.
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    (Original post by laura130490)
    A lot of girls make guys wait because a lot of guys have a habit of pretending to be romantically interested in a girl, then as soon as she sleeps with them they're not interested any more. They like the thrill of the chase and string you along making you think they want a relationship until they get what they want.

    It's happened to me and a lot of my friends. I went on four dates with a guy over a period of a month, we slept together then I never heard from him again, found out all the time we knew each other he'd been sleeping with other girls. I don't blame people for waiting, maybe 4 or 5 months is a bit long but it's better than jumping into bed with guys straight away, because 9 times out 10 they're not romantically interested in you at all and just want sex. Not all guys are like that, but unfortunately a lot are.
    Yeap. Agreed. This has happened to me previously - the whole "hit and run" stint gets old fast. It hasn't left me bitter at all

    This thoroughly ****s me off and confuses the hell out of me - because if you want a quickie, go get one - don't hang around for weeks/months for something that will be over in a couple of hours (if you're lucky) - this whole process just seems counterproductive, and frankly quite stupid.

    However, reading through this thread has left me even more confused - people are saying the OP left it too long, but like quoted above I know guys who stick around for weeks just to get their rocks off.

    I think something like this varies from couple to couple - I know some girls who make the lads wait a few months (and they are still together) whereas other girls have had sex first and then the relationship builds (and still together)

    OP - I think you should talk to your boyfriend - the fact he's still sticking around means something (but what, you'll have to find out).
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    (Original post by Care-Free)
    I agree, if he's not comfortable waiting this long then he should've cut it off and moved on. The fact is that he hasnt. He's become distant, he hasnt spoken to her about it, he's hurt her feelings and left her confused. He should have just told her its not working and moved on, but he didn't, he's making her feel bad and she has every right to be upset about it much in the same way that she would have the right to be upset with him for becoming distant if they WERE sexually active.
    And that's the feeling she has making him feel during 5 months. Withdrawal of attention perhaps is something that means he may stick around, just doesn't FOCUS on her anymore. The idea that men should be 100% responsible for anything in a relationship is ridiculous. We have done all the chasing, if you don't want us, say "Quit".

    Personally i think you should be a gentleman to someone just because it's a decent human being thing to do, i hold doors open for people even if i dont want to have sex with them, i'll go on dates to the cinema and pay just because i want to, i'll go out for a few drinks with someone and engage them in flirty fun conversation because im a social person...not because i want them inside me....(this is of course all when im single)
    I'll surely do those things, sometimes, it's natural, there is no mannerism in it, just see if it's convenient than I will be the one who do that.

    Not being sexually active with someone isnt a reason to disregard them as a human, surely you're a gentleman toward female friends? female strangers? (i.e holding doors ect...although where chivalry ends and general manners begin is a little hazy)
    Where did the guy disregard the girl as a human being, he's just BORED. You girls keep yelling when someone didn't return your message and text. What about those times when you play hard to get, do not answer text immediately? He may not have someone else yet, but as a HUMAN BEING, he has no incentive to continue doing all those things after 5 months. What he does is his right, you understand. Before blaming someone else for withdrawing attention, learn how to give someone great sex.

    Finally, to guys:

    a) Defining how long can you persist?
    b) Subcommunicate this to your gal with the mindset: Ok, I'll wait, but my patience is limited.
    c) Don't ever introduce niceness before sex, general politeness is ok, extra attention will never be granted unless she deserves it.
    d) Flirt with other chicks and have a list of chicks so that you can keep track of which one is ready for you
    e) You will see that she either ejects or will makes things easier for you.
    f) If she ejects, congratulation, you have eliminated a time-waster.
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    (Original post by Ortegas)
    And that's the feeling she has making him feel during 5 months. Withdrawal of attention perhaps is something that means he may stick around, just doesn't FOCUS on her anymore. The idea that men should be 100% responsible for anything in a relationship is ridiculous. We have done all the chasing, if you don't want us, say "Quit".
    I'll surely do those things, sometimes, it's natural, there is no mannerism in it, just see if it's convenient than I will be the one who do that.
    Where did the guy disregard the girl as a human being, he's just BORED. You girls keep yelling when someone didn't return your message and text. What about those times when you play hard to get, do not answer text immediately? He may not have someone else yet, but as a HUMAN BEING, he has no incentive to continue doing all those things after 5 months. What he does is his right, you understand. Before blaming someone else for withdrawing attention, learn how to give someone great sex.Finally, to guys:

    a) Defining how long can you persist?
    b) Subcommunicate this to your gal with the mindset: Ok, I'll wait, but my patience is limited.
    c) Don't ever introduce niceness before sex, general politeness is ok, extra attention will never be granted unless she deserves it.
    d) Flirt with other chicks and have a list of chicks so that you can keep track of which one is ready for you
    e) You will see that she either ejects or will makes things easier for you.
    f) If she ejects, congratulation, you have eliminated a time-waster.
    But you have to make a girl want to have sex with you...if i didnt get love and attention from my boyfriend i wouldn't want to be with him at all let alone sleep with it, if i didn't treat him with equal respect and love he wouldnt be with me either.

    You idea that all girls are hypocrites and crave 100% attention is flawed.
    The idea that all men will get laid if they're polite but not kind is also flawed.
    Me and my partner havent engaged in a single one of your "get laid quick" schemes and we have a wonderful relationship and we have a wonderful sex life because we waited..

    Also your idea that a relationship is essentially sex in return for attention is flawed.

    Your idea that removal of attention is a good punishment, flawed.

    Do you know anything about a healthy relationship?
    what happened to sitting down and talking to each other?
    What happened to reaching a mutual understanding?
    what happened to being so in love with someone that the sex can wait without there being someone else on the side.
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    I waited 3/4 months into my relationship before having sex and I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in, so I don't think waiting has had any negative effects at all, in fact it made us get to know each others bodies and feel comfortable around each other enough beforehand. I don't think anyone should ever feel like they have to do something when they're not ready.

    I also was never pressured into having sex beforehand and neither was my boyfriend trying to rush things, we prefered to slowly progress towards sex over the 3 months or so and he even said to me that he didn't like to jump straight in there, but build things up first until we were both ready and knew each other well. In fact I'd say this has helped us have great sex, we know each other very well mentally and physically and we have good communication. Oh and no he wasn't a virgin but he still felt this way and didn't feel the need to have sex early. I also wasn't the one who made him choose not have sex early, it was mutual, in fact I didn't ever have to say no to him, he just seemed to know when we both were ready
    He doesn't have a low sex drive either, in fact I'd say we both have quite high matching sex drives.

    I've actually known a guy who was in a relationship where he felt like the girl wanted sex a bit too early. He wanted to wait a bit and move up the bases rather than skip them all, while she just wanted to have sex almost straight away and got annoyed at him because he didn't want to at that moment in time. So the genders can be swapped sometimes, although obviously I don't know about this guy's sex drive, the girl seemed to have a big one though .

    While sex is important in a relationship, I'm not going to lie, it is not the only essential part of a relationship, so in the OP's post to act cold to someone because they didn't sleep with them until late is a bit childish, he could just have a friendly chat to her about his worries, rather than turn away and give her the cold shoulder. Communication is key. There are also so many other things that hold the relationship together and yes, all people are ready for sex at different paces, I don't think she should have to have sex just because he wants it, but she doesn't. Attraction can still be maintained through other physical acts that aren't sex, such as kissing, making out, oral, touching and any other physical act not involving actual sex, even spending general time together can help maintain attraction.

    I love sex, but there's so much more to my relationship than that.

    Also, I have seen a couple of guys date girls and have waited quite a long time for sex, just because they were getting rejected by other girls and could not find anyone else, so they felt that they might as well hold on unless someone else comes along. Then once they get sex they make it clear they were just using them. While, a lot of guys aren't actually like this, there are a couple out there.

    (Original post by LonelyCenturion)
    No they don't? Great of you to generalise us all but we're not all like that. Sure sex is an important element of any relationship but it isn't essential to feel loved. :rolleyes:
    I hate people generalising either gender too. I also know a fair few guys who have the same opinion as you, including my boyfriend.

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Updated: March 11, 2012
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