Well I have been going out with this girl for 18 months then at the start of January she started chatting to this guy who she has know for a bit longer than me but only recently got back in contact with him. She has been very stressed at home recently and at college but I have ALWAYS been there for her.
We had a few rough patches but it was mainly us deciding what to do as a couple in say the evening, she started getting annoyed (as she lives 150 miles away and comes to visit her family who live me every other week) because when she came down I did not instantly go round there to see her and etc etc which is BS as I always made the effort to go see her as she was my life. Then things started to get really bad, she went and met this guy she had been chatting to for coffee and we both decided it was time to talk about our future.
The week that followed was just terrible, we were both in tears and upset as neither of us wanted to break up. I opened up to her fully with how I felt and I managed to get her to type how she was feeling in a word document. We ended up breaking up on the Friday which destroyed me, I went out and did some things I should not have but I get a text at 1:24am saying "Can you come outside please" So I met up with her and we were both upset crying and everything and arranged that she would pop round my house the next day for a bit for a chat.
So the next day came and we chatted and cried a lot and agreed that we would work on making it better, so she went out for the day with her dad and I stayed at home feeling better. Then when she came back we talked and sat and it was really nice, even on the Sunday it felt so normal as if everything was perfect which I thought, then she went back home 150 miles away and I was fairly happy by this time.
Then it just got mega worse, this guy she was chatting to but on twitter "Is sharing someones girlfriend and she tastes mother fuking delicious" which made me go insane, I called her up saying wtf is this and she assured me it was not to do with her but after the call he had deleted it from twitter so she lied to me then. When I got home after work I chatted to her and she said that she does not have any feelings for me anymore, so I was mega confused as within the space of a week she lost all feelings for me and has been lying to me. Then again we argued a bit on msn and text and on Tuesday I ended it between us as it was ruining me inside it was mad and she didn't even seem to care. She lied to me multiple times saying that she didn't feel for anyone else and even when I saw the proof she still denied it.
The following week she ran away from home to be with this guy she was chatting too, doing stuff with him even though all he his doing is emotional blackmailing her and manipulating her which was hurting me as she was missing college to see this guy who is pretty much scum. She felt that being with him made her feel like she was in a different life where nothing mattered and she was stress free, but she was caught in this fantasy world caused by him.
I have even told her that I was prepared to move up to be with her or change job and all she had to say to that was "You have said you will do all these things but you have yet to do any of them" which made me so upset as she clearly didn't care at all.
I have tried to get over her but I can't unlike her I can't just drop all feelings for her as I still lover her but only want the best for her as well. She is still seeing this guy but has finally seen sense and has gone back to college but its all a big mess.
I just don't know what to do, my friends say to just delete her from my life and ignore her but my heart just says keep holding on as I care for her so much. Even after what she has put me through I just want things to get back to normal, I can't even look through my Facebook photo albums as there are pictures of her I have been tagged in with her and we just look so perfect
I mean all I want is for her to be happy and do well in life but theres that human part of me which just wants her back :'(
Sorry for the wall of text I'm just so confused.
Edit: I asked her to tell me she got home safe as she was driving over 200 miles and I got a text at like 12:20 saying she got home fine which I was surprised to see. We still chat via text and msn sometimes but i don't know
I think your friends are right. Delete her from your life. Totally. Numbers, Facebook, photos (all of them), ignore any attempt from her to contact you as she's only do it for her own ego. She's not worthy of your affections.
As much as it hurts to hear it said, the best course of action is to get her out of your life. She had no qualms about cheating on you and lying to you. She just wants to use you for emotional support while she sleeps with this other guy, and that is nowhere near fair on you.
Ask yourself whether you want her back because you still care about her, or because you're afraid of not being with her, afraid to be single again, afraid of change and new things. Don't be sucked into thinking that you'll instantly feel better if you get back together.
Even if you did get back together, could you honestly trust her? You sound like you were struggling to make it work at long distance anyway ... your friends are right when they say that you should let it all go. Block everything, get rid of all the photos and ignore any attempts to contact you.
I know it sucks because you liked her, but she really isn't going to be worth it. She made that choice, not you.
I told her today before I left work I would text her (as she would be out at dinner when i got in), I went and had a chat with a mate and long story short I didn't bother texting her as I'm pretty sure she wouldnt care. When I got back online a few hours later she started spekaing to me on msn like "you didnt text me" now taking everyones advice I ignored her and she bugged me multiple times in the night and nudged me on msn. Wtf does that mean as shes told me she does not have any feelings for me and **** like that but then she goes and does this?
I'm starting to think you guys are right and she has a fat ego for having men after her, weird how people change. Thanks anyway guys!
Arg this new guy shes seeing is fuking annoying me by trying to mock me as if he has won something. I'm getting pretty distressed over how he is being as he clearly just wants her for sex. I am resisting talking to her but god hes annoying.
She told me last night that on the day we broke up she went round to this new guys house and stayed there for 3 days. she also posted on his twitter "is sharing someones girlfriend and shes motherfking delicious" as a joke so it shows what sort of a person she is. Then she goes and says I cant talk to her dad and threatens me lolol. So I have deleted her completely from my life and can't wait to see her come crawling back when she realises what she does not have.
To point out this new man shes got is 26, a chef, has a kid and lives in a flat with his sister. He seems to prey on younger women and play with their feelings as well as try to buy their love but yeah I don't care now and have lost all feelings for her. Thanks for the advice guys!
It's been nearly three months since my relationship failed with someone who even now, I still love.
It takes a lot of time and I am still getting there but I'm beginning to realise I am better off without him.
She has been a fool and depending on how proud she is you may never know if she realises it, she may never come crawling back and apologising so don't expect it. All you can do now is wish her happiness and work on becoming happy yourself.
I'm not looking for her back, I only ever wanted her to be happy and if she is then thats great but there was no need for her to be such a cow about it all. After what shes done and lied about and cheated on me I don't have any feelings for her, she ruined them. If she comes back saying sorry and all that then great ill accept that and tell her to gtfo if not then no biggie. I'm not expecting anything from her anymore apart from disappointment and heartache.