FOOD AND DRINK: The Yin and Yang, of THAT FOODIE THANG!

YIN: Uber pleasure. IM WORTH IT DAMN IT. It's like aw man, I've finished my Kinder Bueno/Twix/Twirl/Other Chocolate with Two Parts.... OH WAIT. I've actually only eaten half! 50%! That's right, I've still got a whole nother HALF to enjoy. SCORE. And enjoy I will, eating the whole thing increases the enjoyment by a whole 50%. I'm no mathematician, but those figures say eat the whole thing to me.

YANG: I've now eaten both, and feel a bit...chocolated out. And you don't appreciate the second finger-bar quite as much as you did the first. It's much better to save it for a bit later and enjoy it then. I also find sometimes I forget about it and then I remember and its like SCORE. Day = 100% better.

YIN AND YANG OF MUM'S HOMEMADE LUNCH?

Reply 602

YIN: Mum knows what you like. Canteen lady shovelling lame canteen food onto a clinical food tray like this?

No way!! Mumsie has gone ahead and made your favourite, because she loves you. Cut the crusts off. Buttered one side. Got your favourite cutlery and cup. And she's made lunch into a wee face.

I love mum.

YANG: Oh, I said I liked that one dish, so now I'm getting it AGAIN? Oh, no, that's cool. I wanted to eat this same lunch again. What's that, you never had TIME to make the nasi goreng rice face for me? So now I'm getting Heinz Potato and Leek soup? Ugh. I wish I'd gotten a McDonalds.

What's the YIN AND YANG OF: FINDING A STRAY SWEET IN YOUR BAG?

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YIN: YAY, quick sugar treat. It's like when you find money in your pocket..except it's sweets. And sweets > money in my eyes aha.

YANG: ok, how long has this been in there? In fact, I don't remember buying this..is it even mine? WILL IT KILL ME? N'awww, can't resist, eat it anyway!

yin and yang of limited edition foods

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YIN: Super cool!! It's so exciting to see something so new! So exciting! Gets me interested in a brand I thought I'd taken for granted once again, and made me all like, "Hey, y'know what? I DON'T EAT ENOUGH OF X." - and so I end up eating more of the "default" versions too.

YANG: Watching them disappear from existence forever. Paying £18 for a chocolate bar on eBay in frothing desperation. Some of the varieties are also pretty uninspired (looking at you, Mars Caramel... or should I say MARS TAKE AWAY THE WHOLE POINT OF WHAT YOU EVEN ARE). Watching peanut butter win more competitions through gritted teeth.

What's the YIN AND YANG of...

ADDING VINEGAR TO CHIPS?

Reply 605

YIN: Salt and vingear on chips is a match made in heaven. It almost has to be done by law. It just makes them taste 100x better.

YANG: Add too much and you've literally ruined your lovely portion of chippys. Nice one. £1.50 WASTED. Vinegar is a very strong flavour, and too much is a BAD bad thing. It also make them soggy. You also run the risk of making other food components of your meal soggy when adding the vinegar. Sometimes just salt on your chips can be a better call.

YIN AND YANG OF PLAIN TOAST WITH BUTTER/MARG

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YIN: It's strangely foodierotic to watch butter melt into toast. In an almost Nigellatastic way, and I hope I'm not alone - I adore seeing a...knob... melting deep...deep... inside. COUGH COUGH COUGH.

Also, butter is indulgent enough. PURE FAT? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I always wondered why people moaned buttered toast was "plain" - pure fat is exceptionally tasty and rich.

YANG: Well, it might not be "plain", but chicken paste, or tuna, or beans, or ANYTHING else is a bit more exciting, really. Red pepper hoummus plz plz. Also, carb and fat combo is exactly the sort of thing to give you a INSTANT BOOST then MEGA CRAVE afterwards for something else fatty/sweet (dem's the human natures!). Finally, it evokes memories of my uni days - and I have a Masters Degree, so you can tell I've been there a while - where plain rice, buttered toast and all manner of flavourless dried products were my only port of call and foodage - in some respects I psychologically associate those things with being incredibly poor!!

(Mental conditioning sucks).

YIN AND YANG OF EATING ALL OF ONE FLAVOUR OF REVEL FIRST, THEN ANOTHER, AND SO ON, INSTEAD OF MIXING?

Reply 607

YIN: You know what to expect. Ain't no ninja coffee sneaking up on you. Plus you can enjoy each revel without the added panic of EWWWW it's COFFEE. And you can also save your favourites till last/eat them first.

YANG: You ruin the whole fun of Revel Roulette. Also, you can get it wrong; eagerly popping an 'orange creme' in your mouth and it is actually coffee... :eek:

YIN AND YANG OF EATING YOUR CHOCOLATE BAR IN CLASS RATHER THAN AT THE BREAK

Reply 608

YIN: Somehow, food always tasted BETTER in class. I think it's because it was forbidden, what's naughty is always nice. And you have that fun element of trying to eat it silently, or without being noticed, which in the case of chocolate meant letting it melt in your mouth. Prolong that pleasure.

YANG: Means I don't get to have it at break time, and then I'll either, have nothing and sulk..or buy something else, which means, more weight on the tum and less weight in the purse.

yin and yang of hot food at breakfast

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Angry cucumber

Yin: It's so good!! :biggrin:

Eggs or a fry up or a sausage sandwich... just so good :biggrin:

Yang: If you have, said hot food in a cafe/ greasy spoon; you put on weight just looking at it :tongue:

Yin or Yang of..... the humble fish finger

Reply 610

YIN: It's a fish... FINGER. And we all know how that legend goes:

In a sandwich, it becomes some kind of sex. EVERYONE loves Fish Fingers too - did you ever have a friend that didn't? HINT: if you did, they didn't have souls, and were husk-people. Finally, you ALWAYS have fish fingers in the freezer. I actually think some manufacturers now ship with a box of fish fingers pre-installed.

YANG: Hoki? Whiting? Cobbler? It's white fish, but... well, that's all we know. Unless it's explicitly COD or HADDOCK fish fingers, you're getting a souped-up crabstick here. Also, Salmon Fish Fingers, though posher, are NOT FISH FINGERS. THEY DO NOT COUNT.

YIN AND YANG OF: CHEESECAKES HAVING A VERY... BUTTERY...BISCUIT....BASE.

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YIN: It's a cheesecake, the buttery biscuit base (sing it...) is what basically MAKES it. Imagine a cheesecake without one. I mean, which would you prefer:

EXACTLY. And with that much cheeseycake topping, a thick (within reason) biscuit base is just 100% necessary. And who doesn't love digestive biscuits? I'm not a huge cheesecake fan, but even I can appreciate the need for a a good biscuit base.

YANG: Too much base can make it really far too heavy. Especially with chocolate cheesecake. With lighter flavours, it's justified, but a heavy chocolate cake and a thick base is just too much.

YIN AND YANG OF SUGAR ON YOUR WEETABIX INSTEAD OF ANOTHER TOPPING

Reply 612

YIN: You still get the wheaty biscuit flavour, which is completely awesome as Weetabix is one of those bizarre healthy cereals that is simultaneously very tasty! Moreover, SUGAR ARMOUR is tradition on Weetabix; who DOESN'T have a ratio of 1:1 biscuit to granulated sugar when it comes to the 'bix??

YANG: It speeds up and exacerbates the dreaded "Weetabix Bowl" - a dried-in concoction designed to fuse with the bowl on an atomic level, causing a granite-like barnacle that never separates from the ceramics. Also, it kinda completely negates the fact you're eating Weetabix (a healthier option) in the first place. "I'm healthier than if I was to have Coco Pops!" you cry, as Coco Pops are one third pure sugar. But then you add three kilos of sugar on top, and you're a hippy-crit.

YIN AND YANG OF ORDERING SOUP INSTEAD OF A "SOLID" STARTER?

Reply 613

YIN: It doesn't feel as greedy if you're going for a '3 courser' and you can allow yourself more of a treat for your main and dessert. Also, it usually wont feel you up as much as a rock solid starter! It feels the 'in' thing to do; starting with soup..as I imagine they do on Downton Abbey (where they seem to be forever throwing dinner parties, but I never see them eat)

YANG: Well, it's a bit..BORE SNORE. Hm, soup, awesome? MORE LIKE SNOOZESOME, GIVE ME SCALLOPS ATOP PEA PUREE, GIVE ME DIM SUM, GIVE ME SOMETHING I CANT GET IN A CAN AT HOME. Soup of the day? I can have soup, ANY DAY! I'm out, let me have something special.

yin and yang of HOMEMADE foods

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YIN:

-Made by your own fair hands, so you get to be all smarmy and pompous-elitist about it. "Yeah, I made those cupcakes from scratch". "Uh, yeah, OF COURSE I made the tsatziki dip, what am I gonna do, BUY IT IN? Pffft."
-Seasoned to taste. You know it's going to have the lumpy bits or the extra pepper or all those idiosyncratic lovelies you and your family have come to love. For me, it's like when my mum half-asses colcannon and the spring onions and cabbage are sliiiiightly raw; I actually love that.
-Sounds like "Ho-Made", which makes you sound like a pimp to say.

YANG:

-THE TIME FACTOR. Slow braised beef takes about 2-4 hours to do properly. EFF EMM ELL.
-You legitimately forget how much washing up is involved in even the simplest of dishes. "Simply grate some cheese on top of..." AWK. The recipe book makes it sound so trivial, but that grater is a NIGHTMARE to wash.
-If everyone gets food poisoning, you can't imply the Chinese restaurant used dog meat again.

YIN AND YANG OF BUYING A KINDER BAR INSTEAD OF A KINDER EGG/SURPRISE?

Reply 615

Yin: more chocolate, more deliciousness! What more is there? It's also more convenient and you don't have to worry about It getting crushed, and you don't look like a child which in certain settings can be a good call.

Yang: no free toy! Lets face it, it's just not as fun. At all. Where's my plastic toys with small parts to choke on?!? :frown:

Yin and yang of smoked salmon and cream cheese

Reply 616

YIN: Technically, the two are perfectly matched. The smoked, meaty almost iron-like salmon taste to the fatty, creamy foil of the cheese work well together, and the textures are varied but oddly synchronous. Pop the two upon a Blini and you have the perfect conversation-starter as you explain that you're eating a blini whilst drinking bellini, whilst singing Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polkadot Bikini.

YANG: Something about fish and cheese just feels... wrong. It's pretty plain nowadays as a choice too; I mean, even CO-OP does a salmon and cream cheese appetiser. And despite being kinda... commonplace now, it still warrants a hefty price tag regardless. Finally, even though it's pretty commonplace, it's astonishing how many people are repulsed by it!! POPULAR STUFF IS USUALLY POPULAR.

YIN AND YANG OF BEING FEROCIOUSLY HUNGRY AT A BUFFET

Reply 617

YIN: Good opportunity to get your monies worth. It's like a game vs. you and the buffet, I WILL EAT YOU TIL I FEEL I HAVE SATISFIED THE LOSS OF COINS IN MY PURSE. And food sometimes tastes better and I appreciate it more when super hungry. You don't have to worry about TINY restaurant portions, pile your plate as high as you want. And sometimes I'm so hungry one single dish wont do, I want a bit of this, a bit of that..A BIT OF IT ALL.

YANG: Serious chance of overeating and making myself feel too bloated and ill. And so regretful post-splurge. Or so hungry I go over-hungry and I'm almost not hungry anymore! Additionally, if I've gone ages without eating I find my stomach can take less food..so I might lose to the buffet after all :frown:

Also, appearing like a massive pig.

yin and yang of buying meat from a butchers/butchers counter

Reply 618

YIN: You know it's ridiculously fresh. Hell, it was probably carved mere minutes prior to your presence. HASTY HAUNCHES!! Should you have any meat-based questions, they will be met with intelligent answers, not some supermarket assistant saying "Em, I think venison is like a Veal's son." Finally, if you want specialist treatment; ie, fancy your Lamb French-trimmed? Butcher be all up in dat. And he won't even need to ask, much like Tesco Temp Tambo, "Is that a bit like vajazzling?"

YANG: It's a bit more spaspensive usually. But that's the price you pay for hands-on quality meat!! Also, being SO fresh, cut from bones and not in a pretty little box with cute graphics, it really rams home that YOU ARE EATING BABE. It's not a little cylinder of pink, like your processed stuff. YOU ARE CLEARLY EATING NANIMALS. And Babe's crying.

YIN AND YANG OF BULK BUYING CHOCOLATE SELECTION BOXES BEFORE CHRISTMAS?

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