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Is it over?

My ex and I had an argument few weeks ago. We decided to break up after that citing reasons such as she needed to be single for a while, and due to certain health issues she was experiencing mainly depression (had a really bad couple of months) needed to sort herself out. This included trying to catch up in uni etc. She still says she loves me and misses me. But like 4 days later she kissed a friend of hers and then kissed a random guy on a night out. This really angered me and alot of texts were sent back and forth.
However we managed to sort things out saying we would just leave things as they are, both of the view once things were sorted we would probably get back together.
Am just wondering what is the best thing to do, I realise she does need time to herself but I want her back to and miss her. She says she stills loves me, but just at this minute in time she needs to be alone to sort out her issues.
We were still talking and meeting the odd time, but then I got very drunk and said few things about her and her friends which I didnt really mean, I was just angry and drunk and wanting to hurt her. This was last sunday nite, but she forgave me and we tarted talking again but then I got drunk again on friday nite and did it again. However she said she understands because when we first broke up she agrees that she treated me badly and shouldn't have acted as she did but just says she was really confused. But said she thinks its best if we dont talk for a couple of weeks. :frown: am wondering whats best, granting her wish and not talking with the hope she begins to miss me?
To be honest I have been pretty clingy and if anything have made the whole situation worse by asking her back etc... Any Help would be most appreciated!
Co-dependecy evolves easily when one partner has depression. It's a very hard condition from which to improve and neither she nor you are equipped to deal with it. Layering the demands of a relationship ontop makes it all much worse. This is not going to be a smooth ride and nothing easy can be done to fix it.
Reply 2
Avatar for Lucia.
Lucia.
16
It's unlikely she'll change her mind about the break-up. People who determine the break-up have already thought long and hard about it before it happened. She's says she doesn't want to talk for a few weeks which is a normal reaction. I've always taken this approach in my break-ups and just about everyone I know is the same. You need space to clear the air and allow feelings to dissipate. It'll be hard but try and focus on doing something which makes you happy. You don't know whether she will get back to you but you can't rely on her response to feel good about yourself. Depression is so overwhelming in relationships. I know because I suffer occasional cycles. My friends have had issues in their relationships involving a partner experiencing mental health problems (more common than you think). It certainly puts a strain on a relationship.

So I would do as she says, respect her need for space and not make any contact for a while.
Reply 3
Avatar for LALA LAND
LALA LAND
OP
8
Original post by Lucia.
It's unlikely she'll change her mind about the break-up. People who determine the break-up have already thought long and hard about it before it happened. She's says she doesn't want to talk for a few weeks which is a normal reaction. I've always taken this approach in my break-ups and just about everyone I know is the same. You need space to clear the air and allow feelings to dissipate. It'll be hard but try and focus on doing something which makes you happy. You don't know whether she will get back to you but you can't rely on her response to feel good about yourself. Depression is so overwhelming in relationships. I know because I suffer occasional cycles. My friends have had issues in their relationships involving a partner experiencing mental health problems (more common than you think). It certainly puts a strain on a relationship.

So I would do as she says, respect her need for space and not make any contact for a while.


Thats the thing she hadn't thought about it before, it was just like everything got too much in that argument and then everything seemed to just change. She is also on this new medication which I quite frankly believe has been affecting her, she even said it has made her quite numb. Just in a real dilemma, if she didn't love me anymore and didnt want to be with me for whatever reason I could let go. But because she says she still loves me and can see herself with me in time am sitting her thinking should I just move on or should I wait and see how she ends up. I think she is pushing me away because of what is going on too, but I dont know. I want to help her but I also respect her wishes. :frown: real catch 22 situation!
Reply 4
Avatar for Lucia.
Lucia.
16
That sounds problematic. It's difficult to move forward without a sense of closure. The only action I can advise is to give her as much space as she needs to find herself and at the same time let her know that you'll always be there for her if she wants to talk.

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