(Original post by SuzeBlues)
I'd like to ask advice about what I can do to help my girlfriend's brother. He's got depression and is in the process of gettting a year off from uni where he was one year into completing a pHD in Physchology. I think the type of depression he has is anxiety and something else. He's gay but hasn't had a boyfriend in ages, hes quite overweight and I imagine this gets him down as well. Their mum killed herself because of the same type of depression when he was 10 and they dont talk to their dad. They dont really have any other family who would be in a position to support him except one auntie but he doesnt want to tell her about quitting uni and everything.
Basically I'm wondering what he should do next?
The thing is he lives near London and we live in Scotland so we're not exactly able to go see him that often, should we get him to come up to stay with us or not?
I know it seems an obvious answer but usually when he's up we can only cheer him up for a bit but he only seems to be happy if he's got money and theres plenty food in the house, which there hardly ever is. We only just have enough money for bills and that each month (Im a student and work part-time and my girlfriend pays most of the bills) so it's hard when he comes to stay to have extra money for food when hes in the house all day (we're usually only in at night) and the extra electricity and everything. He's in the process of signing on where he lives just now so he'll get money from that but it will no where near be the amount he was used to making with his phD (£3000 a quarter) but he was saying he wants to get a part-time job at Tesco or something...
Is this a good idea? Hes never had a job before his phD. Would he even be able to get one of those type of jobs having quit uni and with his condition?
He has been to see his GP and he's on medication but he says he's sick of being in education (having previously done a BSc i think and a Masters) and just wants a break. My girlfriend thinks he won't go back to doing his phD if he gets a part time job.
What advice can we give him?
I know the important thing is for him to get better but I dont know if he would sitting in our flat on his own all day? So is a part time job the answer? Or should he try to get a job up here doing something with Physchology? Would that even be possible?
Are there any options open that I'm missing?
The other thing is for him to stay where he lives just now... would that be better? He'd be on his own in the same situation basically but he wouldnt have to put up with sitting in with me and my girlfriend at night and he would have to rely on himself to make money and stuff which could be good for him as he has previously just relied on student loans and bursaries.
If he did come to live with us, what else could I do to help him? Im healthy eating just now and go to the gym and exercise classes a lot so should I try to get him involved in that too? Would that help? The last time he came to stay, i think he felt quite like a third wheel with me and my girlfriend, is there anything we can do to stop that? Its hard because all we really do at night is sit together cause we're always tired from uni and work. We always included him when we went on trips out last summer and that but what else can we do?
Sorry for the rambling also I just wanted to get all the information out there.
I'm sorry if any of the above has made me seem ignorant and selfish, I just want to know what people think we should do for the best cause I really have no idea?? and I do really want to help him.
If anyone can help, I would really appreciate it.