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What do you think of male loners?

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    (Original post by redferry)
    How do you make friends if you dont spend time with other people ie are a loner??

    Ugh my flatmate is just a rude obnoxious moron. I literally hate him. He is a loner because noone spends any time with him because he is unpleasant to be around. Not to mention weird beyond beleif. We got stuck with him after my friend we were living with got ill and had to drop out. He tries to come out with us and we used to invite him but now we just run out the house before he knows were leaving because he has ruined so many nights out. I never thought I would meet someone that I am embarassed to be seen around, Im usually very accepting. But no, every time he spends time with us a little piece of me dies inside.
    In my labs/lectures. I don't spend too much time with other people, the only time I spend time with them is if I have to do something e.g. gym or play football or on nights out(I go to a lot of them tbf) but I spend the rest of my time in my room alone. Most of my friends are coursemates and I have a couple friends of friends as well. I'm generally a cool guy, just that I can spend a day in my room talking to no one without having any food(sad I know)

    Oh my flatmate is a two faced moron as well. He spends every day ranting about students using their student loan money on alcohol and he gets money from his parents so he doesn't have maintenance loan. He's a bit of a bigot as well and snobbish too. He told me one time 'there's a loner white guy who has a chinese girlfriend in his lectures, it's probably because he couldn't find any girl because he's desperate.' I avoid him like the plague. He knocked on my door offering me food while I was sleeping in the evening, he kept on knocking, so I opened the door and saw him offering food and I just took the food and got pissed off. So frustrating.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    How do you make friends if you dont spend time with other people ie are a loner??

    Ugh my flatmate is just a rude obnoxious moron. I literally hate him. He is a loner because noone spends any time with him because he is unpleasant to be around. Not to mention weird beyond beleif. We got stuck with him after my friend we were living with got ill and had to drop out. He tries to come out with us and we used to invite him but now we just run out the house before he knows were leaving because he has ruined so many nights out. I never thought I would meet someone that I am embarassed to be seen around, Im usually very accepting. But no, every time he spends time with us a little piece of me dies inside.
    Why do you hate him? How has he embarrased you?
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    (Original post by repoman)
    Why do you hate him? How has he embarrased you?
    Shouting and swearing at guests when we have house parties, stalking my female friend round when we go out, getting embarassingly drunk then being embarassingly sick and not cleaning up after himself, sitting in the middle of a celebration of biologists for the ebd of lectures (which we warned him about) shouting over and over again 'is anyone here not a ****ing biologist?!', telling a friend of mine who hed only just met she only wore short dresses because she was insecure, hitting my housemate in the face and telling him to speak upo, telling a friend of mine he hates all his housemates in order to impress him, and in general just being incredinbly socially inept. This is on top of the fact he never lifts a finger to clean and hoards dirty washing up in his room so we have no plates...
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Shouting and swearing at guests when we have house parties, stalking my female friend round when we go out, getting embarassingly drunk then being embarassingly sick and not cleaning up after himself, sitting in the middle of a celebration of biologists for the ebd of lectures (which we warned him about) shouting over and over again 'is anyone here not a ****ing biologist?!', telling a friend of mine who hed only just met she only wore short dresses because she was insecure, hitting my housemate in the face and telling him to speak upo, telling a friend of mine he hates all his housemates in order to impress him, and in general just being incredinbly socially inept. This is on top of the fact he never lifts a finger to clean and hoards dirty washing up in his room so we have no plates...
    Wow he sounds like a real arse!
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    (Original post by repoman)
    Wow he sounds like a real arse!
    He is. And as far as Im concerned he is a clear example of why not to bother with people that are loners!!

    Obviously most people arebt that bad, buta lot are at leasta bit weird.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    He is. And as far as Im concerned he is a clear example of why not to bother with people that are loners!!

    Obviously most people arebt that bad, buta lot are at leasta bit weird.
    But I dont agree with you for this, as you said most people whether they are loners or not, do not act like this, so they should not be tarred with same brush.
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    (Original post by repoman)
    But I dont agree with you for this, as you said most people whether they are loners or not, do not act like this, so they should not be tarred with same brush.
    Yeah but the vast majority of loners I know/know of are at least a bit like my housemate ie weird. I will state again, theres a reason why these people dont have friends and more often than that it isnt by choice...
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    (Original post by Ace Of Diamonds)
    Thats me it just doesn't make sense to do everyday stuff with people. I study better on my own, I go to the gym to exercise my body not someone elses. I still have friends and I go out etc, but I'm not incapable of existing on my own for a few hours everyday
    That's really not what a loner is though. A loner is someone who has very limited or no social interaction on a regular basis, either because they do not desire it (voluntary) or because they do not have access to it (involuntary). A loner typically has close to no friends at all and spends very little time engaged in social activities. Most people who self-identify as "loners" simply aren't.
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    That's really not what a loner is though. A loner is someone who has very limited or no social interaction on a regular basis, either because they do not desire it (voluntary) or because they do not have access to it (involuntary). A loner typically has close to no friends at all and spends very little time engaged in social activities. Most people who self-identify as "loners" simply aren't.
    Finally aomeone who understands what a loner actually is! Rather than 'Im a loner but I have lots of friends' and 'I spend time with my friends but Im a loner'. Ie not a loner!
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    people who constantly need people to hold their hand are often the most insecure....
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    (Original post by jam277)
    I don't know anyone who knows one girl I like(the loner girl), so it's hard, we have labs, but we just focus on work and we don't have much time for a conversation. It's so annoying, the thing is I reckon she likes me/has liked me, but there's the high chance she's also super friendly...

    e.g. She asked me for my name because it was part of an exercise, then she goes and puts a smiley face in her book right next to my name... I took a peek so she didn't show me it. She's pretty friendly towards me, but we're in a group of 4 and the other guy in our group doesn't talk to her much so it's not like she's generally treating me differently as there are only 4 people, 2 girls and 2 guys. I didn't check whether she put smiley faces on everyone else though.

    Besides that we barely talk to each other besides when we're doing work and even then she's very focused on her own work. (we sit right next to each other btw)

    Sorry about the story. Just wondering whether that's any sign whether she likes me or whether she's just 'fairylike friendly.' Mainly because of the whole loner girls thing. I dunno if she's a loner though, just that she hangs around with one person in nearly all of our lectures(even the very large ones) so I'm willing to bet she may be, although outside I don't know her of course so I dunno.
    No worries.
    I would say she likes you but only she has the answer.I'm never good with this I never do it at the right time.I've know this loner guy for like...nearly 3 years now and I only recently told him I like him.But my timing was poor (A month or so before major hand ins) So I haven't been able to sort it out.

    Anyway...Just take it easy if you're in a major group project together maybe you could ask for everyone's numbers (yea i know) so you can arrange meetings out of Uni time.I think that's how I got the guy's number I can't actually remember.If you're really brave when you think the time is right you could just ask her out for a coffee or next time you have a group outing (house party whatever) invite her somehow!!! The group thing is probably the sliest way to go it doesn't make it too obvious.


    (Original post by jam277)
    In my labs/lectures. I don't spend too much time with other people, the only time I spend time with them is if I have to do something e.g. gym or play football or on nights out(I go to a lot of them tbf) but I spend the rest of my time in my room alone. Most of my friends are coursemates and I have a couple friends of friends as well. I'm generally a cool guy, just that I can spend a day in my room talking to no one without having any food(sad I know)

    Oh my flatmate is a two faced moron as well. He spends every day ranting about students using their student loan money on alcohol and he gets money from his parents so he doesn't have maintenance loan. He's a bit of a bigot as well and snobbish too. He told me one time 'there's a loner white guy who has a chinese girlfriend in his lectures, it's probably because he couldn't find any girl because he's desperate.' I avoid him like the plague. He knocked on my door offering me food while I was sleeping in the evening, he kept on knocking, so I opened the door and saw him offering food and I just took the food and got pissed off. So frustrating.
    Sounds just like one of my old housemates. Ergggh can't stand people who think they're holier than thou but are ten times worse!!!! In the end it's mostly attention seeking.
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    (Original post by Mamiya)
    No worries.
    I would say she likes you but only she has the answer.I'm never good with this I never do it at the right time.I've know this loner guy for like...nearly 3 years now and I only recently told him I like him.But my timing was poor (A month or so before major hand ins) So I haven't been able to sort it out.

    Anyway...Just take it easy if you're in a major group project together maybe you could ask for everyone's numbers (yea i know) so you can arrange meetings out of Uni time.I think that's how I got the guy's number I can't actually remember.If you're really brave when you think the time is right you could just ask her out for a coffee or next time you have a group outing (house party whatever) invite her somehow!!! The group thing is probably the sliest way to go it doesn't make it too obvious.




    Sounds just like one of my old housemates. Ergggh can't stand people who think they're holier than thou but are ten times worse!!!! In the end it's mostly attention seeking.
    Well, I have a lab test so I can't really talk to her, but we have to do a bit more work during lunch, I should have asked for her number when we started, just that I didn't wanna seem too eager, I don't see her too much though and we only do labs every two weeks. I don't really have an excuse to talk to her really.
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    That's the male version of me. I generally keep myself to myself. I have friends, and I love them and do stuff with them, but I enjoy being alone too.
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    That's really not what a loner is though. A loner is someone who has very limited or no social interaction on a regular basis, either because they do not desire it (voluntary) or because they do not have access to it (involuntary). A loner typically has close to no friends at all and spends very little time engaged in social activities. Most people who self-identify as "loners" simply aren't.

    Fair enough, I think it's just that sometimes I can go days or even weeks without speaking to anyone (not boasting it's just that this happens a lot at times and it's not something to boast about anyway). I'm the annoying guy who doesn't pick up his phone and takes ages to text back because I'm on a gaming session/doing absolutely nothing by myself. I guess I'm not exactly a loner according to you since I have friends(not really close friends but still friends nonetheless) but I have loner tendencies and people would generally think I'm a loner...
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    (Original post by jam277)
    Fair enough, I think it's just that sometimes I can go days or even weeks without speaking to anyone (not boasting it's just that this happens a lot at times and it's not something to boast about anyway). I'm the annoying guy who doesn't pick up his phone and takes ages to text back because I'm on a gaming session/doing absolutely nothing by myself. I guess I'm not exactly a loner according to you since I have friends(not really close friends but still friends nonetheless) but I have loner tendencies and people would generally think I'm a loner...
    My comment wasn't even directed at you...? :confused:

    I'm not trying to tell people whether they're definitely and necessarily loners or not. It's not my place to say and there's no defined boundary where you become a "loner". However the kind of behaviour described in that post I quoted, and in the OP, is highly typical behaviour which is not characteristic of a "loner". It's perfectly common behaviour to study/gym alone and spend time by yourself, most people do that. There's no point asking what girls think of male loners if based on your behaviour people don't actually view you as a "male loner".
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    (Original post by innerhollow)
    My comment wasn't even directed at you...? :confused:

    I'm not trying to tell people whether they're definitely and necessarily loners or not. It's not my place to say and there's no defined boundary where you become a "loner". However the kind of behaviour described in that post I quoted, and in the OP, is highly typical behaviour which is not characteristic of a "loner". It's perfectly common behaviour to study/gym alone and spend time by yourself, most people do that. There's no point asking what girls think of male loners if based on your behaviour people don't actually view you as a "male loner".
    Oh, don't worry, it was 4am and I'd been up for 24 hours, I had no idea what I was talking about.
    Anyway, I don't see the point of me boasting that I'm a loner/can be one lol.

    Everyone does that with spending time by yourself, I'm sure lots of people known as loners have a small group of friends outside of school. They might not spend too much time with them, but they would still be known as loners, also like mamiya was saying, loner girls sort of stick to their groups and don't interact with anyone else.
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    Well I've made only 2 friends at Uni so does that class mean I'm a loner :rolleyes: It'll probably come as no surprise that I'm quite shy in person, I think I'm fairly nice but my fear of being negatively judged holds me back lol.
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    (Original post by jam277)
    Well, I have a lab test so I can't really talk to her, but we have to do a bit more work during lunch, I should have asked for her number when we started, just that I didn't wanna seem too eager, I don't see her too much though and we only do labs every two weeks. I don't really have an excuse to talk to her really.
    Hmmm.Well next time you do go for le kill!
    This sounds exactly like my situation.Play it cool, just ask her out with friends to start.
    I'd usually tell a person to be straight forward and just tell her, but not everyone is comfortable with this approach and it's better to take things slow.(Plus I've tried that approach and it usually goes wrong!!!)
    Actually,could you organise a course night out?
    It might mean you're going out of your way a bit though... @_@

    AHHHH I forgot before that try and talk to her about things she likes too.Like get to know know her, somehow. But then again you could do that whenever you go out. Hmmmm. *thinks*
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    (Original post by Mamiya)
    Hmmm.Well next time you do go for le kill!
    This sounds exactly like my situation.Play it cool, just ask her out with friends to start.
    I'd usually tell a person to be straight forward and just tell her, but not everyone is comfortable with this approach and it's better to take things slow.(Plus I've tried that approach and it usually goes wrong!!!)
    Actually,could you organise a course night out?
    It might mean you're going out of your way a bit though... @_@
    Maybe, I dunno if she's the kinda girl to go out often though, inviting her out is too obvious, we're in a group of 4 and me and my mate are pretty similar while the other two girls are the quiet type so it'll seem way too random if I ask them out now. I'm probably overthinking things, but I have a feeling she'll say no, plus I'm very very discreet. It would work if we actually talked to each other about things like friends but oh well.

    (Original post by Mamiya)
    AHHHH I forgot before that try and talk to her about things she likes too.Like get to know know her, somehow. But then again you could do that whenever you go out. Hmmmm. *thinks*
    I think I need to actually get on with the girl and have something to talk about before inviting her somewhere. The course night out, hmm that could work but I have loads of male mates that I talk to while I only know 2 or 3 girls who she doesn't know so she'll feel a bit intimidated. If it was like she got on with my friends or knew them, then I would have done the course night out.

    I reckon the only way like you said is to get to know her and do revision or something...I guess I might talk to her in labs, but I've left it a month too late, it's the last labs session that i'll be with her so I will probably have to see her in lectures which makes it much harder as she's then with her friend. :facepalm2:
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    (Original post by jam277)
    Maybe, I dunno if she's the kinda girl to go out often though, inviting her out is too obvious, we're in a group of 4 and me and my mate are pretty similar while the other two girls are the quiet type so it'll seem way too random if I ask them out now. I'm probably overthinking things, but I have a feeling she'll say no, plus I'm very very discreet. It would work if we actually talked to each other about things like friends but oh well.


    I think I need to actually get on with the girl and have something to talk about before inviting her somewhere. The course night out, hmm that could work but I have loads of male mates that I talk to while I only know 2 or 3 girls who she doesn't know so she'll feel a bit intimidated. If it was like she got on with my friends or knew them, then I would have done the course night out.

    I reckon the only way like you said is to get to know her and do revision or something...I guess I might talk to her in labs, but I've left it a month too late, it's the last labs session that i'll be with her so I will probably have to see her in lectures which makes it much harder as she's then with her friend. :facepalm2:
    *Woah*
    Really late reply...sorry I've been swamped with Uni work.It's true.You could also talk to her in private.Just to ask to talk to her quickly.But yes you're right get to know her a little more.I managed to talk to the guy I like ...and though he doesn't like me back in that way I asked him out to the Grad ball and he said yes but then again I've known him for 3 years >_>;;; I guess it'll all happen when the time is right

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