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Engagement, how young is too young?

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    • Thread Starter

    My boyfriend and I were talking about the future and came across the subject of marriage. He freely admitted he wanted to be with me forever, and would even get engaged to me, both of which I felt the same.
    Now, neither of us would marry until university is out the way, which is 1, maybe 2 years for me depending on a diploma/masters, and at least 2 years for him, which is quite some time still.

    However, he's 21 and I'm 19 and although we haven't been going out a long time, we have known each other 10+ years technically, know everything about the other person - all the good, bad and ugly - and were best friends beforehand. So it's not rushing into things with a stranger.

    After talking about that we started talking about what ages people felt were too young for engagement and I was just wondering what anyone else felt about it?
    I don't mind if anyone disagrees, I'm just generally curious, as it seems to be a very individual belief.
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    I personally would not get engaged until I'd left university, so not before I was 22.
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    I would agree with not until I'm done with uni, which would be 22 minimum.
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    I'm not really interested in ever getting married but if I ever do, I wouldn't consider getting engaged til I'd been with someone at least 10 years.
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    Not until my late 20s at the very earliest.
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    It's personal choice. I got engaged at 17...oh and I had only met him 4 and a half months prior (and we had only been dating for 3 months)
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    Age is just a number baby.

    I'd say when you're both mature enough to be thinking about all of the financial and social implications etc etc, and when you're both roughly in the same stage of life.
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    What is the point of waiting if you want to be together forever anyway?
    I don't see the point. My friend got married in december. She is 19. They got engaged at week after she finished school. They hadn't been dating as he was 7 years older but they had been together for 6 years.
    If you know he's the right one then what is the point of putting it off. You could get engaged now and have long engagement and marry when you get out of uni. Then you have that commitment but you aren't busting your uni budget on a wedding.
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    I got engaged at 17 after being together for 4 months, which in hindsight wasn't the best idea for us. We stayed together another 3.5 years after that so there must have been something there
    What happened there makes me a bit reluctant to jump into anything like that so quickly again. I'm now almost 27 and have been with my current boyfriend for over 1.5 years, but I definitely think it's too soon for us to be getting engaged (not because of our age, but because we've not been together long enough IMO).
    I think it's totally fine in your situation as you've known eachother so long
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    I was engaged at 19, will be married at 21. We got together when I was 17 and felt we knew eachother well enough after 2yrs to be engaged. So I would say go ahead Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you have to get married straight away. We'll have been engaged 2.5yrs when we tie the knot
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    My mum got engaged to my dad on her 18th birthday after they had been seeing each other for only 7 months. They got married 9 months later and have now been together 30 years.

    I think they were ready to be together and didn't want to wait.

    My sister on the other hand dated a guy for eight years and never got anywhere close to engagement, in fact their relationship changed very little from when they first started dating at fifteen. I think sometimes you have to have to make the next move to keep a relationship alive in the long run. I think the reason they didn't commit more is because they didn't want to. Wanting to get engaged is quite a big sign that this guy is the one you want.
    • Thread Starter

    Thanks everyone. It's interesting to see the responses. I already know what I would do, if anything were asked, this was merely to see how other people viewed engagement at a 'young' age
  11. Offline

    Personally, I'd think engagement/marriage before the age of 25 is young. That's just my opinion though.
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    I have told myself no engagement until I'm working so I want to be engaged to someone so about 27ish- doing a medicine degree. Also I think that the 2 people have to be in the same place in life, personally I would be in the working world and date someone is just starting uni (unless it was a master/ graduate entry course).

    But everyone thinks differently, i might just have old fashioned views.
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    In your situation I really don't think that age should be a factor/concern if it's not something that has bothered you before. Just because it's not the generally accepted thing in society (I know some people do look down on younger people getting married. But each to their own in my opinion and what works for you might not work for others), it doesn't mean that it's not right for you. You've said yourself that you know each other inside out, you've known each other for years, been together a long time and you will still be waiting a few more years yet (until your education is over, and probably until you can afford it too), so I don't think that considering all of that, that age should really be a huge deal. You both know what you want and you know each other well enough to make a commitment like that. If you're both comfortable with it then that's up to you and nobody should tell you what you should/shouldn't do just because you're both young.

    I personally don't mind the idea of getting engaged/married young as long as I'm sure that he is the right person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. But we'd have to know each other inside out and I would personally like to live with my partner before marrying to get an idea of whether we'd actually be able to live with each other If all went well on that front I don't think age would concern me.
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    Age is just a number. I always believed that under about 25 was too young and you change so much but at 19 I'm engaged.
    We'd only been today about 18 months when he proposed, but a week later were moving in our first house (one we'd bought, we'd been renting for 6 months previously). Not planning on getting married for a good few years. Our whole relationship seems to have been on fast forward but it seems to have worked for us. We've now been engaged for a year (in 5 days). The best part was that neither of the parents had a problem with it (Which suprised me).
    But anyway, my experience, so hope it helps.
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    Being "engaged" means nothing unless you are actively making plans to get married; otherwise it's just a word.
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    I think it's different for everybody. For me personally, I won't be getting engaged/married until I'm at least 25, but it'll probably be a few years later than that.

    Some people get married young and stay together for life. Some people though (e.g. my parents) get married young and then after actually growing up, they change so much and end up being different people. They were no longer compatible after 10 years of marriage. Of course that can happen at any age, but is more likely when you're younger when you're changing so much.
  17. Offline

    If you're both ready, why not?


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