[Anonymous]

i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.

[Freak Out]

You need to get past it. See someone who can help, there's not a lot we can do for you here.

[SweetChilliSauce]

(Original post by Anonymous)
i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.

Keep anon or delete please

This will sound crude but... You need some sort of help. It'll be best not to have an abusive boyfriend. I don't think you're weird at all, but it's just life. A family full of abusive people isn't the way to go

[Birchington]

Seek help.

[Iron Lady]

Please get some help

[DancerPerson]

Is there a counselling centre you can visit that will offer you a consultation? If you are claiming that your past has influenced this desire to have an abusive boyfriend, then counselling could offer ways for you to explore your past relationship with your father and examine unresolved conflict, or things you never got to talk about because you had no one to talk to. No one, and I mean NO ONE deserves an abusive boyfriend. Talk to someone and I hope you realise that you deserve better.

[VanessaXD]

You need to talk to someone....... =\

[xsindy]

That's normal for someone who's had a traumatic past
But it's not something you should want in the future
If you stick with this way of thinking you'll never be happy in the future
talk to people, an adult, a close friend, or even to me
xxx

[LeeM1]

Surely it's not rape if you want it to happen?

[ThumbsUp]

i'd seek professional help if i were you, before someone starts throwing religious/ethical stuff at you...although it seems they already have

[medbh4805]

There is nothing wrong with this per se, but the fact that you think it's linked to your abusive father makes me think you should go see a counsellor. I hope that way you'll be able to sort out you emotional issues. Don't feel disgusting or hate yourself because of this; many people feel the same way as you - rape fantasies are incredibly common. However for the sake of your mental health and because this is linked to your past abuse you should talk to a professional about it

[Sui-Kinxtar_kitty]

Abusive relationships are nasty and very difficult to get out off...

Listen to the others on this thread and talk to someone...

I find psychotherapy very helpful

[cl_steele]

i recommend counselling, everyone to their own and all but this cant end well.

[buchanan700]

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Give them a call

[Drunk Punx]

(Original post by bmqib)
because you're a mess and there are a lot of people like you. take up islam and start being a muslim


neg me all you want but if you want inner peace, you should consider islam. you don't have to follow everything, but at least give it a look to find some spirituality ya get me

Concerning inner peace and Spirituality, Buddhism > Islam any day, especially as you don't get the certain... undesirable qualities in Buddhism that Islam contains. Totally gonna get negged for saying that, but A) it's pretty much common sense that any religious institution that condones stoning (and not in the good way ) really isn't that peaceful, and B) I don't care

Digressions aside: OP, get help.

[daisydaffodil]

I'm guessing it's a self esteem issue and probably not uncommon.

We can listen and support here, but for help and proper advice, you really are best having a chat with the GP. You are worth so so much more than being abused and deep down you know that.

[H.JJJ]

Pornstar.


Ok I'm kidding, seriously, give someone a call - your GP, a charity etc and explain to them.

[miniteen]

This kind of reminds me of the book "The Bluest Eye" where Mr. Breedlove rapes his daughter because he doesn't know how to show his love in any other way (having himself never been loved in the right way.)

[los lobos marinos]

(Original post by Anonymous)
i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.

(Original post by daisydaffodil)
I'm guessing it's a self esteem issue and probably not uncommon.

We can listen and support here, but for help and proper advice, you really are best having a chat with the GP. You are worth so so much more than being abused and deep down you know that.

Sadly, it is not uncommon. Through work, I've met so many women who have witnessed or been a victim of emotional, psychological, physical or sexual abuse during childhood. It's almost learned behaviour where the the emotions, thoughts and behaviour create a pattern of abusive relationships. The abused child goes on to be the victim or perpetrator of abuse .

It is possible to 'unlearn' the unhelpful processes and there are some really good agencies out there that provide brilliant support, counselling etc. They assist so many to learn new techniques and move forward with their lives and reach a 'good and happy place' in life.

As they say, it's good talk.

[Id and Ego seek]

You probably just like and want the attention elicited by being a victim of abuse.

...Or do you generally like the pain and fear? If so, maybe you've unconsciously created a link between the love a father is known for and the pain from an abusive father; you might be a masochist as a result of this.

People who are abused or victimized early on in life probably do tend to become masochistic because that's all they've been exposed to in terms of feeling.