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I want to be abused.

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.
    I do too at times but, I try to get past it its the only logical thing to do and or get a phyciatrist (i cant spell i know).
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    Find some help and start counselling to get over what happened with your dad. If you don't do this then thoughts exactly like this will end up getting you seriously hurt, emotionally and physically.
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    I think you need some help. Go speak to your GP/a counsellor. This is more common than you think and there is nothing at all to be ashamed of, but you do need to deal with this because many victims of abuse will continue to be victims if they don't get help. You may think you want that, but trust me, you'll be a lot happier if you respect yourself and be with people who respect you (and treat you the way you deserve to be treated). Please get some help. Best of luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.


    Talk to your best friend about this. Please.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.
    Omg

    That's not normal.

    You need help.

    Go to a GP and asked to be referred for counselling.

    PM me if you want to talk.

    :console:
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.
    this sounds exactly like me.

    I love the idea of having a controlling abusive boyfriend i dont know why.

    Ive even found myself actively rejecting guys because theyre not dominating enough :/
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    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    Sadly, it is not uncommon. Through work, I've met so many women who have witnessed or been a victim of emotional, psychological, physical or sexual abuse during childhood. It's almost learned behaviour where the the emotions, thoughts and behaviour create a pattern of abusive relationships. The abused child goes on to be the victim or perpetrator of abuse .
    That is so sad what job do you work in? I've read about this...

    (Original post by los lobos marinos)
    It is possible to 'unlearn' the unhelpful processes and there are some really good agencies out there that provide brilliant support, counselling etc. They assist so many to learn new techniques and move forward with their lives and reach a 'good and happy place' in life.
    That's good
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this sounds exactly like me.

    I love the idea of having a controlling abusive boyfriend i dont know why.

    Ive even found myself actively rejecting guys because theyre not dominating enough :/
    You as well?

    Please don't feel this way. I think you need couselling as well, so go to the GP and ask to be referred.

    :console:

    PM me if you want to talk.
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    I really think that your experiences are influencing what you seek in a partner and how you think you should be treated. Simply put, you need help. And also, to be enlightened that domestic violence is never okay, under any circumstances. No human being deserves that
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    Perhaps you should manifest this desire in a healthier way? Have you looked into BDSM?
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    (Original post by najinaji)
    Have you looked into BDSM?
    You see, I thought about saying the same, but decided it was inappropriate. If what the OP has put is true, its kinda beyond having a kinky mind or being into a little slap and tickle. Maybe you should have self censored as well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know this is terrible and horrible and disgusting but i find myself wanting an abusive boyfriend. i think it's cause i've lived with an abusive dad all my life and just couldn't function without the abuse but i don't know for sure. i'm so confused. i always hate the way dad treated me but whenever i think of love i think about someone beating the crap out of me. i feel like a terrible person. like what kind of person would want this? I sometimes feel myself wanting to get raped and I really don't know why.
    a) find a partner who this will work with

    b) learn to love like other people say
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    (Original post by Riderz)
    You see, I thought about saying the same, but decided it was inappropriate. If what the OP has put is true, its kinda beyond having a kinky mind or being into a little slap and tickle. Maybe you should have self censored as well.
    Why? For all you know, the two things may not necessarily be related, and it may be a good outlet for them. Telling the OP that their feelings are 'unhealthy' with little evidence isn't helpful at all. I'm saying, if they need therapeutic help, fine. If they enjoy being dominated/hit, fine.
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    (Original post by LeeM1)
    Surely it's not rape if you want it to happen?
    Yes, it is, in this case. The OP doesn't honestly want it to happen; in my estimations at least, they're exhibiting a common trait of people who have been in an abusive situation - equating abuse with love, and thus thinking that if someone raped them, it would be sort of the only way they could be shown love. Plus following abuse, the OP will have low self-esteem, maybe thinking the only way someone could love them or the only thing they could be good for is rape. And they may hate themselves and sort of want to cause themselves pain and suffering and misery. It's a rather common thing in people who have been abused, and a partner of someone who's felt this way shouldn't abuse it.

    OP: as you may gather from my post, I also grew up in an abusive situation and later sleepwalked into a couple of very, very unhealthy relationships, one of which was itself abusive. You need to break this cycle of low self-esteem and searching for people who will hurt you and force you to do things, because it reinforces itself; at the moment you've been hurt by your dad, so you're hurt, but should you get into an abusive relationship, you'll be hurt from that, so want to end up in another abusive relationship, and thus the self-hate perpetuates itself.

    I'd honestly recommend counselling. With a good counsellor (which I did eventually manage to access on the NHS) you can work through these issues and understand why you feel this way. Think of it as an investment in your future, because realistically, unless you get around this somehow, you're not going to have a normal relationship. And good luck

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Updated: March 25, 2012
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