uncomfortable

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  1. yashradia's Avatar
    • Exalted and Worshipped Member
    • Location: london
    • Posts: 1,143
    uncomfortable
    I am just wondering if anyone has been through this/in the same boat.... Do you feel uncomfortable letting people know the real you? I was never like this but recently i am seeing that i am not being myself and i am really uncomfortable in showing anyone the real me. I want to overcome this so bad, as it's affecting my day-to-day.:mad:
  2. LifeIsGood's Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
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    Re: uncomfortable
    What is the real you? It seems that you don't trust people to open up to them perhaps? I'm not sure, you're going to have to expand.
  3. Sui-Kinxtar_kitty's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    Yes I know how you feel...

    Its because most people end up hurtin, betrayin or leavin u right???
  4. LifeIsGood's Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
    • Posts: 3,370
    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by Sui-Kinxtar_kitty)
    Yes I know how you feel...

    Its because most people end up hurtin, betrayin or leavin u right???
    If this is the case, it's good in a way that you're aware. But if you want to overcome, you need to define yourself and write down a few things about your personality and think of ways to open up to people who you do genuinely like.
  5. + polarity -'s Avatar
    • TSR Royalty
    • Location: Behind the Sun
    Re: uncomfortable
    Yeah, I've felt like this since I started uni.
  6. Sui-Kinxtar_kitty's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by LifeIsGood)
    If this is the case, it's good in a way that you're aware. But if you want to overcome, you need to define yourself and write down a few things about your personality and think of ways to open up to people who you do genuinely like.
    Oh no thats an old issue for that was holding me back years ago...

    Now Im true to myself and IDGAF what anyone thinks of me
  7. LifeIsGood's Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by Sui-Kinxtar_kitty)
    Oh no thats an old issue for that was holding me back years ago...

    Now Im true to myself and IDGAF what anyone thinks of me
    Very similar to me. I didn't have a lot of friends in Year 9-11 and was open to a selection of people who I trusted but you grow out of it and don't care what anyone thinks after a while. It's a good feeling. The people who keep judging you every move are heading for big problems in the future IMO.
  8. eugenius 8's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    :ditto: polarity
  9. yashradia's Avatar
    • Exalted and Worshipped Member
    • Location: london
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by LifeIsGood)
    What is the real you? It seems that you don't trust people to open up to them perhaps? I'm not sure, you're going to have to expand.
    I don't know i am just very awkward around people and i end up saying wrong things especially to new people and friends. I am totally normal and fine with my family. It's like i am two different identity, you know what i mean. I am more comfortable with my family then with friends. I get so nervous and say things which i wouldn't normally and never say what i actually feel. I am uncomfortable in being the me when it comes to friends and just wondering why.
  10. TheStudent.'s Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    I don't find anything uncomfortable about it O_O in fact, i really dislike people who are fake / contradict themselves... so I try to be as honest as I could possibly be.

    Why do you feel uncomfortable OP?
  11. Sui-Kinxtar_kitty's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by LifeIsGood)
    Very similar to me. I didn't have a lot of friends in Year 9-11 and was open to a selection of people who I trusted but you grow out of it and don't care what anyone thinks after a while. It's a good feeling. The people who keep judging you every move are heading for big problems in the future IMO.
    ZOMG!!! Same...

    Like mine was kinda due to depression and girls being betches...

    But since last school year Ive been quite happy
  12. hannahchan's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by yashradia)
    I am just wondering if anyone has been through this/in the same boat.... Do you feel uncomfortable letting people know the real you? I was never like this but recently i am seeing that i am not being myself and i am really uncomfortable in showing anyone the real me. I want to overcome this so bad, as it's affecting my day-to-day.:mad:
    yes.

    all the time. I'm exactly the opposite of who I really am at school.. and in nearly every conversation I never relax and I sound so fake. -_-.

    *yet people have the nerve to say that they never liked me. HELLO that's not even the real me that you know.*

    Maybe make a video or a diary and just talk or write down whatever comes to your head.. .. free thoughts
    Last edited by hannahchan; 17-03-2012 at 18:58.
  13. yashradia's Avatar
    • Exalted and Worshipped Member
    • Location: london
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by LifeIsGood)
    Very similar to me. I didn't have a lot of friends in Year 9-11 and was open to a selection of people who I trusted but you grow out of it and don't care what anyone thinks after a while. It's a good feeling. The people who keep judging you every move are heading for big problems in the future IMO.
    There you go... I have NO friends well except for work people but they are really no friends right... Basically i had only few uni friends and after uni we are less in contact. One of them is getting engaged and i am not going to attend because i am so uncomfortable reason being she is sooo happy and confident and i am not and i know she's one of those people who judge. I don't want her feeling pity for me. I have no friends and don't get me wrong but i love my own company and o read lots of books which keep me enjoy life more. But it's sad to know i have NO friends and i keep all this in my heart and it upsets me which is why i am never myself at work. do you see what i mean?
  14. catoswyn's Avatar
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    • Posts: 1,864
    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by yashradia)
    I am just wondering if anyone has been through this/in the same boat.... Do you feel uncomfortable letting people know the real you? I was never like this but recently i am seeing that i am not being myself and i am really uncomfortable in showing anyone the real me. I want to overcome this so bad, as it's affecting my day-to-day.:mad:
    We all try to get a balance between privacy and openess and different people feel comfortable with different balances between the two things. There is no one answer that fits everyone.

    At times of change within ourselves this can get more complicated as we are working out for ourselves new thoughts and feelings about life, our personalities and the people around us. Some things that we used to show other people about ourselves may no longer match how we are feeling. Or things we kept private now seem like things we'd like to share.

    It sounds as if you might be going through some new things and maybe you feel uncomfortable all round with other people. Hopefully this will work its way out as time moves on and you will feel more comfortable about being yourself.

    Friends come and go. Sometimes there are lots of them in our lives and sometimes not. Work people are another matter altogether. Some might turn into good friends but in my experience there is also a professional relationship going on which means they might not neccesarily become so.

    Good luck
    Last edited by catoswyn; 17-03-2012 at 19:05.
  15. yashradia's Avatar
    • Exalted and Worshipped Member
    • Location: london
    • Posts: 1,143
    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by TheStudent.)
    I don't find anything uncomfortable about it O_O in fact, i really dislike people who are fake / contradict themselves... so I try to be as honest as I could possibly be.

    Why do you feel uncomfortable OP?
    I guess because i am not confident enough with people who are very confident and i am very awkward. I am very kind shy and slow and i just find it hard with people who are fast you know..
  16. LifeIsGood's Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by Sui-Kinxtar_kitty)
    ZOMG!!! Same...

    Like mine was kinda due to depression and girls being betches...

    But since last school year Ive been quite happy
    Ditto. Was bullied from Year 9-11 so was quite depressed then just started building my confidence back from then. Been a long journey
  17. LifeIsGood's Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
    • Posts: 3,370
    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by yashradia)
    There you go... I have NO friends well except for work people but they are really no friends right... Basically i had only few uni friends and after uni we are less in contact. One of them is getting engaged and i am not going to attend because i am so uncomfortable reason being she is sooo happy and confident and i am not and i know she's one of those people who judge. I don't want her feeling pity for me. I have no friends and don't get me wrong but i love my own company and o read lots of books which keep me enjoy life more. But it's sad to know i have NO friends and i keep all this in my heart and it upsets me which is why i am never myself at work. do you see what i mean?
    Calm down It's not abnormal, it's trust issues.

    If people judge you - get away from them! You do NOT need toxic people holding you back from happiness. **** what they say! Honestly, there's always been a group of bitches in my year group who was nasty to everyone and they ended up the worse out of everyone in general. Nobody had really liked them, teachers were discussing them while they were trying to big up their ego. If you're not comfortable, that's fine. I don't do a lot of things with my friends either, but if they were true friends - would they judge you?
  18. Sui-Kinxtar_kitty's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by LifeIsGood)
    Ditto. Was bullied from Year 9-11 so was quite depressed then just started building my confidence back from then. Been a long journey
    Yeh I remember my best friend trying to drown me in the school pond...

    *Sigh*

    Sad times...
  19. catoswyn's Avatar
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    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by yashradia)
    I don't know i am just very awkward around people and i end up saying wrong things especially to new people and friends. I am totally normal and fine with my family. It's like i am two different identity, you know what i mean. I am more comfortable with my family then with friends. I get so nervous and say things which i wouldn't normally and never say what i actually feel. I am uncomfortable in being the me when it comes to friends and just wondering why.
    This post seems to me to be the key. You are relaxed and confident with your family because they don't judge you, they know you well, you trust them and you have nothing to prove. With strangers and friends it sounds like your confidence is much lower maybe because you do think that they are judging you etc.

    Its more than likely that most of your friends think you're great anyway. If they don't or are negative towards you get rid of them, they are not friends.

    The lack of confidence around new people and saying the wrong thing etc is something a lot of people experience. I think as you go on you might find you develop some personal ways of dealing with this you can use in situations which feel uncomfortable. That's what happens with most people. There's no need either to be totally open at work or totally closed off. You can develop a 'work self' with which you are happy over time.

  20. LifeIsGood's Avatar
    • Overlord in Training
    • Posts: 3,370
    Re: uncomfortable
    (Original post by Sui-Kinxtar_kitty)
    Yeh I remember my best friend trying to drown me in the school pond...

    *Sigh*

    Sad times...
    :eek: Mine wasn't like that, it was more emotional than anything else

    It did help me build up a lot of courage to keep fighting every day even if it was a struggle. I do look back on it occasionally and really am proud of myself I was able to go through what felt like hell at a vulnerable age and build myself back up. I ended better than those people who tried to put me down anyway, so I was the last one laughing
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