Probably just the protectiveness thing, but it was understandable, considering there was quite a lot of loss for my mother when I was very young.
Other than that, I couldn't have asked for better parents.
(Original post by Jackal The)
Sorry, I actually didn't really, my parents divorced when I was very young and it was mainly just a lot of issues with my dad, who I no longer speak to.
Oh, I see! at least that doesn't sound as bad as the other. Good :P
And just how MathematicsKiller said, more privacity too. I hated how my mum wanted me to leave my door open. My room's door was right in front of the corridor so I had no privacy at all! now I enjoy the privacy of living in a host family. Nobody bothers you unless it is dinner time, to watch a movie or to offer you homemade cookies
I think my parents did a really good job raising my brother and I, there aren't many things I'd change.
The only thing is that when my Mum was angry at me, she'd shout (scary, I used to dread her losing it like that) and she'd storm out of the house saying that she was going to find a family with nice children.. then when she got home she'd say she decided to give us one last chance. I remember crying my eyes out about that, and feeling as though I'd ruined my family's lives, over some misbehaviour that probably wasn't all that bad in hindsight- just that my Mum didn't know how to cope with it.
I would never use food as a reward, as I wouldn't want my daughter to be 18 stone at the age of 20. But that's it really. I enjoyed my childhood and most of the time things were absolutely fantastic.
I would bring up my children exactly the same way.
My parents had a few standards they lived by when bringing up my and my little sister.
1. When they are young, routine is paramount.
2. When they are older, give them as much freedom as they wish. They may do anything, providing they text/contact you every hour.
3. They are free to make their own choices. Their own friends (no matter your opinion), their own schools, their own career etc.
4. They should respect you more than anyone else. They should not be scared of your anger, but of your disappointment.
5. Encourage outdoor play as a child. [I know so many people who never played outside as a kid, but some of my best memories are me and my little sister playing outside with chalk, hula hoops, a trike, a scooter, or just some cutlery and whatever ingredients for mud-cuisine we could find.]
I think I grew up pretty well. I do not drink, smoke or do drugs. I have just finished a Masters degree and I live with my boyfriend of four years. I have an excellent career plan and I am currently studying for my CIMA qualification. My sister does not smoke or do drugs (though she occasionally drinks, but I have never seen her drunk). She is doing her NVQs at a pharmacy in ASDA. She lives with my parents and is in a stable relationship.
My mother has always said she wants nothing more for us than our happiness, and I think giving us the freedom to make our own choices (and learn from our mistakes) has really contributed to that.
Me and my sister are actually both scared of having children in case we can't bring them up like we were brought up.
1. not abandoning your family for one thing.
2. not ignoring the family you created with your first wife
3. not seeing your kids for 15 years =]
4. no hostile environments or shying away making them fearful from treating mental illnesses of your children
idk im not having children anyway, it's not my thing, but those are things i wouldn't do if i ended up having kids. and the fact mental illness is so taboo in my family even though it's clear i've inherited it, i spent a long time not getting treatment because my parents didnt want me to tell someone about my problems and worries and family life.
I will never beat my kids, never. I will never kick my child out if he/she done a bad thing. I will never argue or swear in front of my kids. I will never hit my wife in front of my kids (I will never hurt her anyway). I will always be there for my kids no matter what problem they're in.
Nothing much really. My parents were pretty liberal in terms of strictness and did a decent job of bringing me up. Although I would try and get involved with their studies a bit more because growing up I was a little **** in school but my parents never really knew what was going on in school and just assumed i was doing ok. They never forced me to do homework when I came in or to study like some of my mates. Then again, ironically I eventually did better academically than some of the mates that were forced to study so perhaps it wasn't so bad. Also my mum is religious and took me to sunday school when I was a kid when quite clearly I didn't want to go, but again I am an atheist so there's no risk there.
EDIT: infact my parents were pretty good raising me, but now that I'm older me and my mum don't really have a good relationship. Since my parents divorced when I was 10 my mum has progressively became the devil with a bottle of wine. Infact she when it happened she went through a bit of a mid life crisis and started going out a lot leaving me and my bro alone without telling my dad, who was perfectly capable of looking after us what was going on. So in that sense I wouldn't go off the rails at the slightest bit of stress like my crazy fool of a mum. My dad seemed to hold it together pretty well though.
EDIT 2: What the hell am talking about, I don't want kids!
Last edited by Foghorn Leghorn; 18-03-2012 at 20:53.
I'd give a lot more freedom, especially because I know how awful it feels to be the only one of your friends who has their life dictated by rules: Can't go out with friends, ever. Can't sleep over people's houses, aren't alllowed to get a job etc. It's so hurtful and makes me hate my parents sometimes. I don't think I ever want my kids to feel as lonely, sheltered and isolated as I do. Ever.
I think I'd drive my kids, (not like scary dad at football who screams at everything) but make them try lots of different things and if they find something they're good at/enjoy help to motivate/push them to the best that they can be.
I feel like I am very mediocre in many things because I was never encouraged by my parents to keep at it. I'd start something, then give up. I wish I had continued with the piano for example so I had an impressive ability, as of now.. Im very mr average.
I'd send my kids to a better school. Other than that I like my parents parenting style, they let me do whatever I wanted until I did something bad and then they told me off. I think they were not quite pushy enough with me at school. When I was young they spent hours making me do reading and stuff but then once I reached about 12 they always said "Its got to come from you and if you don't want to work hard at school then we can't make you". It worked because I am now a highly motivated student but I only matured enough to work hard by the end of my GCSEs and if I had matured a little later it would been too late.
I really like how my mother was always a caring figure and my father was much more harsh. If I was upset then my mother was the person to go and speak to. If peoples' fathers weren't like mine then they probably won't understand but I really wouldn't like it if my Dad said "Come on son, tell me whats the matter, give me a hug, I love you" that is a mothers role.
Well, my parents worked a lot when I was younger so I hardly ever got to see them. So I When I have kids, I want to spend as much time as possible with them, especially when they're little.
Also, my parents didn't really guide me or give any real advice in terms of education. Neither went to university, so they didn't really know much about it and the only books I had in my house were ones that I got when I was 15/16. So I certainly want to be able to share advice my kinds better but I suppose my experience growing up will be more similar to theirs than me and my parents.