First of all, don't ever say 'I think'. If you want people to listen, you need to be hard-hitting, ie 'X is true', rather than 'I think X is true'. As an extension of this, try to take yourself out of the speech as much as possible, and limit the number of times you say 'I'.
(Original post by Jorddizle)
It's only a 2 and a half minute speech in which what is said doesn't really matter but the language and how persuasive I am does. Any feedback is welcome and i'm generally stuck in the middle with my opinion on this matter, but for this speech i'm pro-life.
If there are any way you think I can improve this i.e more emotive words etc. it would be a great help!
Leave out all references to about, approximately, roughly.
Don't focus on the goals of the mother; people sympathise with children more than adults. Try speaking about how she is able to build a stable home for herself and future children, but keep the emphasis on the benefits for the child.
Go harder with the figures, change '40-60' for 'as many as 60'/equivalent.
Leave out 'I went on the internet...'. Go straight in with 'Life is defined as... Murder is defined as...'. Also, maybe find a more emotive definition for 'life', that one is pretty cold and clinical!
Maybe add in a rhetorical question at the end, which makes people think. Perhaps replace 'Abortion is just that' with a question linking abortion to the definitions you've just given.
Hope this helps, good luck with your speech!
Edit: quickly, before I get negged, this is help for writing a speech, not my opinion
Last edited by FrogInABog; 20-03-2012 at 21:03.