I'm in my first year of uni and I'm not having a great time at all. I've made a handful of friends and since I'm only in lessons for 12 hours a week I find myself home alone a lot of the time.
School work isn't a problem so there's still plenty of time for a social life. Nobody in my group of friends seem really bothered about socialising any more. I have social anxiety but I've really made an effort this year although a lack of human contact is making slip back into my old ways.
I really want to branch out and make friends for life not just go clubbing all the time when I DO go out. How do I go about finding like-minded people? Have I left it too late? It looks like everyone has their own little friendship groups already :/
Thanks for any help!
P.S. I have joined societies but they're really impersonal where you can go to them without needing to socialise like the cinema Soc
It's never too late to make friends. I made my really good friends halfway through this term and before that I was utterly miserable and felt like everyone hated me.
Here's some advice for you.
1. Be yourself. Not everyone will like you for who you are, but chances are nobody will like you if you act like someone else.
2. If you get rejected by a social group, don't be disheartened. A lot of people are elitist and will reject you just because you don't appear cool/tasteful/arrogant enough. It does NOT mean you are an unlikeable person
3. If anyone else looks shy and lonely, befriend them. I did that this year and she's now one of my closest friends. As well as that, she has lots of friends now.
4. Look for societies that involve socialising and include your interests. just as an example, for me, it's RocSoc. They're amazing, they take everyone as they are, and the weirder the better! And in terms of social anxiety a music-based society is pretty good I find (i get it too) because there's not so much pressure to make good conversation etc etc. I'm on the exec and most of my closest friends are from there.
5. Not everyone has made friendship groups already. The people who haven't made friends are sitting alone in their room just like you are.
You'll find like minded people eventually. Just keep putting yourself out there, being yourself, and doing what you enjoy.
It is never too late to make friends. I strongly recommend finding volunteering through the University. This can help you have a purpose outside of studies (something I really struggled with as I was used to a 48 hour working week and student hours left me dwelling on how much I missed work!) Scouts has helped me find friends not only through Uni, but also in the local community. It helps with motivation when people are looking out for you. If Scouts is something you would like most Uni's have Scouting societies or Network Scouts (Scouts for 18-25 year olds like me that refuse to grow up!) and they do all kinds of crazy stuff- the one's round here are always busy! Could be perfect! Otherwise there's just so many places looking for volunteers- I met my best friend dressed as a pirate collecting money! Great fun
Also try and find a more social society- I'm also a RockSoc'er haha! Those sort of societies are best...where you get to just mix with other people who appreciate the same things as you...Newcastle has loads like tea drinking and disney- I'm sure most Uni's will do as well!
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