For quite a few years now, despite having many friends at home and at University....I feel like I can't trust people and the reason is I'm afraid that they'll just stop liking me.
It all goes back to when I was 10 and started Secondary School, I had friends and everything was great but one day they started to treat me differently and slowly went off me, it concluded when I wasn't invited to a birthday party. I was on my own after that and the next 5 years were a living hell for me with everyone calling me weird and I didn't know why.
It turns out that I had Aspergers and I wasn't aware of my actions and I guess it didn't help having a parent as a dinnerlady at the same school.
When I finished school, people cheered in my face that they didn't have to be in the same class as me anymore and my confidence was destroyed.
Now I am at University six years later and have slowly gotten more confident as a person but decided to stay in student accmodation for my second year because I was too afraid to ask anyone from my class if I could live with them.
I don't mind staying where I am for another year ( I personally don't think it's a big deal)
But going out with my friends will be a bit harder as I'll have to get a taxi by myself lol so I probably wont go out as much as I have this year.
I just wish I didn't have to feel pressured to drink by everyone noones really physically done so but they make you feel guilty if you say no like 'your missing out''
I think that maybe you could have counselling - do you have a counselling service. Maybe you could talk to someone there. It will be hard to open up because of trust issues, but having counselling would be good so that you can have someone to listen to, and can help you put things into perspective.
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