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Tulisa sex tape "scandal" - why is sex seen as immoral?

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    It's ridiculous, she's hardly portrayed as a innocent little girl! If it were Hannah Montanna making a sex tape, then sure, be annoyed because that might actually affect kids, but Tulisa is hardly a role model for preteens is she? More like teenage girls, most of which have probably given head in their lives so who cares. I find Tulisa a bit annoying tbh, but I really admire how she's reacted to this tape. She has nothing to be ashamed off, she's just been screwed over by a guy!
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    I still haven't seen the video. Are there any links around?
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    (Original post by Shan<3)
    It's ridiculous, she's hardly portrayed as a innocent little girl! If it were Hannah Montanna making a sex tape, then sure, be annoyed because that might actually affect kids, but Tulisa is hardly a role model for preteens is she? More like teenage girls, most of which have probably given head in their lives so who cares. I find Tulisa a bit annoying tbh, but I really admire how she's reacted to this tape. She has nothing to be ashamed off, she's just been screwed over by a guy!
    Think about it.
    What show does Tulisia work on? The X-factor.
    What is The X-factor considered as? A family show.
    What do families not want to do? Watch a show where there is a sex tape of one of the judges giving head.
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    (Original post by littleone271)
    In my experience... filming it kinda takes away the passion. I like sex to be intimate as in like doing it because you can't keep your hands off each other. If everything has to stop so the guy can set up a camera then that in itself is/would be a huge turn off for me and it does demean the act because it likens it to porn and the whole point of porn is that there are absolutely no emotions involved and no intimacy whatsoever.

    It takes a long time to train your mind to be completely detached from sex and it's not a natural process or one without psychological mess attached. Age, experience and maturity aren't three things that go together and you can't really understand sex from a woman's point of view because it is so completely different for us.

    I am capable of having casual sex and I don't necessarily feel dirty or guilty afterwards but when I get stressed out in general with other areas of my life it's another thing to think about. At the time that I have sex with them and afterwards I might feel completely fine and be excited and turned on by the fact that I'm in complete control and that I can get sex from them whenever I want from then on all the time they're single. When I get depressed and find myself looking at life in a more negative light the other angle creeps up on me and I think about how I've cheapened myself and how I'll never be anyones wife material because at the rate I'm going by the time I'm ready to marry I will have built up a bit of a reputation for being 'easy'.

    I hate the term 'easy' because it infers that I'm in some way naive. If I want a relationship with a guy then I'll make him wait because I know he'll have more respect for me if I hold back a little so I'd make sure we got on well and dated exclusively for a couple of weeks or maybe a month first. I'd make sure that I said no a couple of times before I say yes lol. If I don't want a relationship with a guy and all I want him for is casual sex then it's different because there's no need for him to respect me as girlfriend material as I don't see him as boyfriend material.

    Having said that and even after having casual sex with quite a few different partners I still find it a bit of a kick in the teeth if I've just had sex with a guy and he says another girl is hot or I see him kissing another girl the following weekend etc. It's never completely strings free because you have to have absolutely 0 pride (associated with 0 confidence which isn't a common trait amongst women who are comfortable with casual sex) to not find it a bit annoying when you see it and think 'am I that forgettable?'. I'm not a sensitive woman but it is a bit emotionally confusing because you know you don't want them but at the same time you don't want them preferring other women to you.

    Also I think for whatever reason.. the only time I've ever really been against a cuddle after sex was when it was sex with someone I couldn't stand for the purpose of a rebound so that I could have nightmares rather than dreams about my ex. With my first boyfriend who I never cared about I was never bothered about having a cuddle and was nearly always happier to just put my clothes back on and go home straight afterwards.

    So yeah women CAN have casual sex but in these current times I don't believe women can ever truly escape how we feel about it when we're a bit down and it's partly due to societal pressures and stereotypes and partly due to female psychology and the hormones released after sex that make us want to cuddle and make men want to go to sleep.

    And that's as honest as you're going to get from any girl or woman on here.
    Give the girl a medal, that is 100% truth right there. Couldn't put it better myself.
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    (Original post by Framingham)
    Think about it.
    What show does Tulisia work on? The X-factor.
    What is The X-factor considered as? A family show.
    What do families not want to do? Watch a show where there is a sex tape of one of the judges giving head.
    As far as i'm concerned she's part of N-Dubz, in which she prances about in skimpy outfits. She was most definately a sex symbol before she was hired on X-factor, so I don't think they should care about it now. It's just a blow-job, she wasn't even naked...
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    It's not that sex in itself is bad. It's that she let it get filmed, that was silly.

    and it's also quite satisfying to see powerful people get knocked down a peg or two.
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    People aren't saying that sex is immoral - it's the fact that she filmed a sex tape which she must have known was likely to get leaked at some point or other, being a Z-list celebrity. There's nothing wrong with having sex, but it's a private issue, not something that should be shoved in other people's faces, particularly when the individual in question is in the public eye and, perversely, seen as a 'role model'.
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    (Original post by this honest)
    leave it yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah
    DENCH.

    Dun knooooo
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    (Original post by Framingham)
    Think about it.
    What show does Tulisia work on? The X-factor.
    What is The X-factor considered as? A family show.
    What do families not want to do? Watch a show where there is a sex tape of one of the judges giving head.
    are you expecting a child to stumble onto a porn site and watch it? if they do i think parents have more of a problem on their hands whether it's a celebrity on the porn site or not.

    it's not like she's giving a live performance of the sex tape on the x-factor, no one is forcing children to watch it. even if a child pays attention to the news (unlikely and i haven't seen anything about it on the proper news like BBC or ITV) or reads a tabloid (unlikey and anyway there are much worse things in a taboid).. they probably won't understand and if they do then they already know about sex.

    it does not mean they'll go out and start giving blowjobs at the age of 10.
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    there's been a lot of support for tulisa over this sex tape scandal... but also quite a lot of "she should lose her job" "she is a bad role model for girls and disgusting" "what a slut" and all that crap..


    so, why is sex seen as immoral? why do people think her position as a judge of singing talent be questioned because 4 years ago she gave her boyfriend a blowjob?

    i don't get it?


    btw i thought her response to the sex tape was quite good



    mod edit: keep it on topic, please, no need to post about how bad or good the video was.
    You have utterly missed the point and why everyone has criticised the slag.
    It is not because they were not married, or that it was a blow job.......but because she let him film it. Do you know who else lets people film them doing such things? Porn stars. :rolleyes:
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    The fact that she quite clearly hired a team of lawyers, got a gagging order and denied it was her, only to confess a week later. Also the fact that she has quite conveniently released a new single in the past few days is eyebrow raising.


    (Original post by Jimbo1234)
    You have utterly missed the point and why everyone has criticised the slag.
    It is not because they were not married, or that it was a blow job.......but because she let him film it. Do you know who else lets people film them doing such things? Porn stars. :rolleyes:
    You never were one to think logically, were you Jimbo?
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    (Original post by Bellissima)
    everyone is not a clone of eachother, i don't know why you seem to think everyone is identical. i do not know a lot of them very well but i don't really care if you don't think i do

    it is not porn for other people to watch, it is not porn to sell, it is a private taping of an intimate moment. i said nothing about it being casual you're the one who started banging on about casual sex, i just asked why sex being casual is "immoral" which you can't seem to explain.
    yes they can vary quite a lot, hormones affect who we are and how our bodies work, so yes they are significant. again i'm not going to give you a biology lesson so i don't care if you're going to say we are all identical.
    what has the waist to hip ratio got to do with anything? if that's an argument about all women being clones, then it's obviously wrong as waist hip ratio varies between women.
    like i said who we are as a person and therefore how we react depends on different things, including environment, foetal development, genes (therefore YES we are different)... our psychology is different as we ae not all clones.


    anyway none of this has nothing to do with the OP and i don't even know why you started talking about this, so for me at least.. finished.
    Hah:
    1)Please address the issue of worldwide trends
    2)You don't know the slags well. Point proven that you are talking from a level of presumption rather then experience or knowledge.

    Porn is porn regardless of who watches it. It is taking what should be an intimate act and reducing it to visual pleasure.
    I have explained why casual sex is immoral...nice selective reading. It's immoral because it ****s people up (no pun intended).
    No hormones don't vary a lot:



    The waist hip ratio shows that your idea that "everyone is like well differs!" is redundant as people's thinking follows obvious trends.

    If you were a bulb, you'd be a yoctowatt
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    (Original post by Cool Kid)
    The tape reduces sex to porn.
    I'm not sure that committing something to film does reduce it to just that filmed product. I don't think, for example that you would argue that taking pictures at a wedding reduces marriage to a photo album, would you?

    So what's special about sex and porn that the act of filming it reduces it?
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    (Original post by Cool Kid)
    Hah:
    1)Please address the issue of worldwide trends
    2)You don't know the slags well. Point proven that you are talking from a level of presumption rather then experience or knowledge.

    Porn is porn regardless of who watches it. It is taking what should be an intimate act and reducing it to visual pleasure.
    I have explained why casual sex is immoral...nice selective reading. It's immoral because it ****s people up (no pun intended).
    No hormones don't vary a lot:



    The waist hip ratio shows that your idea that "everyone is like well differs!" is redundant as people's thinking follows obvious trends.

    If you were a bulb, you'd be a yoctowatt
    to clear up that was a typo and i meant i do. they are not slags and you judging them as such is more of a reflection on you rather than them.

    hormone levels of all types vary from person to person. every woman in the world does not have the exact same levels of every hormone. i'm not sure what a graph showing the changing levels of estradiol over a woman's menstrual cycle has to do with anything.

    you have not given a proper explanation of why casual sex is immoral. it does not "****" people up (very scientific) and as i have said different people are different. even if it does "****" them up it is only themselves they are hurting, therefore not immoral as they aren't harming anyone else, it's their decision. it does not make it immoral. it is nothing to do with you.


    the waist hip thing is irrelevant and your explanation of why it's relevant has no connection

    anyway i'm not letting myself be drawn into this when you are just making stuff up, it's a nice day. bye.
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    (Original post by jesusandtequila)
    I'm not sure that committing something to film does reduce it to just that filmed product. I don't think, for example that you would argue that taking pictures at a wedding reduces marriage to a photo album, would you?

    So what's special about sex and porn that the act of filming it reduces it?
    Well it does...Who would say "I won't turn up, I'll just look at the photos!" :confused:
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    (Original post by Cool Kid)
    Well it does...Who would say "I won't turn it, I'll just look at the photos!" :confused:
    Turn what?

    What I'm saying is that despite taking photos of your wedding, it still means that much more to you because of the memories and consequences of that day. What is it about sex and porn that means this automatically isn't the case, and that the Act becomes immoral just because it is recorded?
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    (Original post by jesusandtequila)
    Turn what?

    What I'm saying is that despite taking photos of your wedding, it still means that much more to you because of the memories and consequences of that day. What is it about sex and porn that means this automatically isn't the case, and that the Act becomes immoral just because it is recorded?
    *up
    Why do you need a video of a blow job though? It's not a once in a life time event....
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    I love how it is all focused on the woman being immoral and a slut yet the man is ignored... typical.
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    (Original post by Fusion)
    However, image obviously matters in her profession so if they feel that the release of the clip into public domain has tarnished the brand then they'll drop her.
    What's her "brand"? Someone who doesn't have sex? :confused:
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    (Original post by Cool Kid)
    *up
    Why do you need a video of a blow job though? It's not a once in a life time event....
    Sure, you personally might think it's pointless, but that doesn't make it immoral or wrong in any way.

    But why do we need videos or photos of anything? Football matches, holidays, nights out are all things that happen more than once in a lifetime and all things we don't reduce to just a photo album even if we do take photos.

    I'm just wondering why you think the recording of sex means it loses all worth?

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