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Friend resitting the year

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    Hi

    So, I'm in Year 13 and so are most of my friends, but one of our friendship group is resitting Year 12, and she's really depressed about us all going away to uni.
    I see that she's upset, but it's ruining all of our gatherings and general fun, because everything seems to set her off.
    I'm trying really hard to be sympathetic towards her, but I don't really understand why it's any worse for her than it is for us. Either way, we're all leaving our friends, and everything will be completely different for us, whether she's going to uni at the same time or staying in sixth form.
    Also, and I feel really bad about this but I can't help it, but it's kind of her fault that she's not going to uni; if she'd worked harder last year then she wouldn't have needed to resit the year and then she wouldn't be in this situation.

    What can I do? I'm scared to voice my opinions to my other friends because I don't think they'll agree with me & I really don't want to lose them. But I hate seeing her upset and it's also making me really frustrated because I just don't understand why.

    Thanks
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    I did that, I stayed on at sixth form college for a third year whilst all of my friends went off to uni. (Not because I didn't work hard enough or anything though, I dropped 2 of my AS levels before doing any exams, because I didn't like them, and took up a new AS in 2nd year, so I had to stay for a third year to take it to A2).

    I felt as if I were being left behind somewhat. It's all very well and good saying that her situation is no different to yours, but it is. You're going off to "grow up" as it were. You'll be doing new and exciting things, meeting new people, having a whole new experience.
    She, on the other hand, probably feels as though she's being left behind in kindergarten! I know I did! I felt as though everybody else was off having a life, and I was pretty much stuck behind with the kiddies. It sucked.

    BUT...having said that, it was my decision, I knew what I was getting myself into, so although I inwardly felt a bit rubbish when everybody left, I didn't show it, and I certainly didn't take it out on my friends. I just took it on the chin and got on with it. I befriended the French teacher actually lol.

    If your friend is bursting into tears all the time about it, she needs to pull her socks up and stop being such a wimp. Yes, it sucks for her, so don't assume that it doesn't, it really is nothing like going off to uni, but she needs to just deal with it!
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    Resitters are losers. Un-friend her and don't bother anymore.
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    (Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil)
    Resitters are losers. Un-friend her and don't bother anymore.
    Atleast they try to improve, much better then doing nothing about it!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi

    So, I'm in Year 13 and so are most of my friends, but one of our friendship group is resitting Year 12, and she's really depressed about us all going away to uni.
    I see that she's upset, but it's ruining all of our gatherings and general fun, because everything seems to set her off.
    I'm trying really hard to be sympathetic towards her, but I don't really understand why it's any worse for her than it is for us. Either way, we're all leaving our friends, and everything will be completely different for us, whether she's going to uni at the same time or staying in sixth form.
    Also, and I feel really bad about this but I can't help it, but it's kind of her fault that she's not going to uni; if she'd worked harder last year then she wouldn't have needed to resit the year and then she wouldn't be in this situation.

    What can I do? I'm scared to voice my opinions to my other friends because I don't think they'll agree with me & I really don't want to lose them. But I hate seeing her upset and it's also making me really frustrated because I just don't understand why.

    Thanks
    I had the exact same dilemma, and don't worry it gets better in time.

    Basically my close friend's appendix burst 2 days before exam season, and she missed all of them as a result. She took her AS levels this year and got an amazing 6 A grades, and is going to do her A2s next year.

    She was really upset at first, but then we reminded he that we'll still be back during holidays, and also being at home she can choose any of us to visit when she wants to. She's already planned a trip in February next year to visit me in Sussex

    Finally just remind her that you'll always be friends - with facebook, skype and twitter around it wont matter how far you are away, you'll still be able to reach anyone you please at the touch of a button
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    I'm resitting year 13 because I got tonsilitis before my exams and had it throughout them in january last year and then had too many exams in June to cope with.

    It feels like you've been left behind. I know it's hard to understand how your friend is feeling but you're going to meet new people and move on with your life, whereas she's stuck in the same place with people she knows but doesn't spend social time with. It's hard to adapt.

    Just give her some support. Encourage her to make friends in her year and do your best to keep in contact with her when you leave. Resitting the year is a difficult decision to make and while at the end it is rewarding, it's also difficult from a social aspect.
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    If she's a friend, then help her.

    She's either gonna react by getting stroppy, or accepting it. I don't know about you but latter is beeeetttteer.
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    Meh, don't see what she's upset about tbh, I pretty much got all Cs at GCSEs then got EEU in AS 1st time round despite working harder ended up retaking the year got CCD for A-levels now at Uni and have made friends with lots of clever people :cool:
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    i know how your friend feels, i'm still in sixth form as i had a year's medical leave a while back, so now 90% of my friends are at uni. i feel left out and distanced from them, and as previously mentioned it can be really hard to fit in and socialise with people you knew before but didn't talk to outside of classes much. in my case everyone seems to have their 'circle', and though i really try to make an effort and talk to everyone, i've never been asked to do something socially with people i go to school with. awkward when they all talk about the raging party so-and-so had... but yeah, that's another story.

    anyway, she has no right to get upset/annoyed with you guys - it's not your fault, and she should be making the most of the time you guys have left together? even so, i'd let her know that you'll still be back in the holidays, still keep in touch, maybe let her visit you etc, so she won't be entirely forgotten.

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Updated: March 29, 2012
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