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How do I tell my mother I'm metally ill?

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    #1

    Well I just had a conversation with her on skype, and once again she started bull****ting me about getting a job and how i just sit here procrastinating. She doesnt understand the state ive been in recently because she's in another country, even though she knows i suffer from anxiety. my study skills tutor actually told me she didn't think i was fit enough for a job, but my parents just keep pressuring me! believe me nobody wants me to have a job more than I do but what are my chances?? i've tried to seek help for my problem, ive been to the gp and i'm going to get assessed for cbt, but the problem is they told me this is going to be done over the phone, and i really dont want to talk about my problems to a complete stranger i cant even see, so i'm going again on monday to see if there's an alternative. my parents think i dont ask for help but i have tried, the problem is that what they can offer is limited and even then you have to wait.
    nobody wishes more than i do i was able to hand in work on time and get good grades, my mother again just sits there talking about how i should get help, if she could just for one day step into my shoes and know what it's like being me she'd understand. how can i explain it to her? ive been asking for all the help i can. im arranging an appointment with my tutor. ive even asked if i can apply for some extra counselling but all theyve said is that they could extend my exams. i did that last year, i dont want to do it again.

    i dont know what to do in short my parents dont understand. sorry for the rant.
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    You could just send her what you've written here, with a few alternations. It might also help to find some information about your problems from a reputable source like the NHS or a charity like MIND and send her that as well. If she's better informed then she might find it easier to understand why certain things are more difficult for you.

    It's possible though that she just won't understand (although you should certainly encourage her to try), in which case you might just have to accept that, and learn not to take certain things she says too much to heart. She probably thinks she's helping by giving you advice and stuff, so try not to be too upset when she says the wrong things.
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    I'm sorry you're in this position as i know how hard mental illness is to deal with and that it's only made worse when someone close to you doesn't understand.

    What i did was i wrote a long letter to my mum which was completely honest and detailed explaining what i was going through and how i needed her support. I put this letter on her desk with a printed out sheet of facts about my particular mental illness (depression). She told me this really helped her understand what was going on inside my head and how it was effecting my life so something similar might be a good idea. I think what made it effective was the fact that it was so detailed and honest.

    Ofcourse, like the above user said, some people are just never going to understand no matter what you do.

    Sorry for the long post, but i hope i've been of some help
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the advice guys. I really do want a job as I'm 20 now and I can't rely on my parents for money for much longer, and the longer you wait the harder it is to get into the labour market. but i just fear that under my present condition i'd just crumble. I guess it depends on what kind of job. my mother is looking to get me a job in language academies in spain, and when i go there in april I'll go and ask them myself if they need someone to teach english. I'd also like to work in a theatre. i just dont know if ill be able to handle the stress of a job.
    my study skills tutor also has a nack for making me feel worse than i really am. i dont like her very much and i'm glad that next week is the last time i'll be seeing her.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    anyone else?

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Updated: March 31, 2012
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