[Anonymous]

So here's long story short:
- My father, when he was young, used to spend more than half of his earnings on alcohol whilst my mother and my sister were going hungry
- He used to also frequently exercise domestic violence on my mother, then my older sister as she aged.
- My mother and I lived separated from him for 3 years for my education, not due to a divorce or anything (sis was in uni during that time, on her own)

That's the background.

Now, it's time for me to go to uni. Dad doesn't earn a lot, but it's in the mid-upper class salary. Since I don't live in the UK, I'll try to use relative figures.

So say me going to uni would cost $10 (for a 5 year, overseas medical fee). My dad earns about $1 a year. Currently my household has about $13 saved up in real estate, investments etc. Turns out when my mother and I joined him back in Jan, he had a debt of about $0.5 from "stock investments".

He now demands that since the $13 is what he's earned (mum didn't work), he should be able to take some of that and repay his debt. Mum is arguing 'you have no rights to take that. I've saved over years to make that.'

Which argument would you say is correct? And is it overly selfish for me to still want to go to uni overseas to the UK in such a situation? I just feel horribly guilty/bad, and like it's completely my fault that they are having to argue over this.

(also, he's filed for divorce, and has agreed to give living expenses for 3 months, of about 40% of his monthly salary, in return for receiving $0.5.)

[chronic_fatigue]

It sounds like its your dad's money. Where they all your dad's investments?

[tehFrance]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Dad doesn't earn a lot, but it's in the mid-upper class salary. Since I don't live in the UK, I'll try to use relative figures.

So say me going to uni would cost $10 (for a 5 year, overseas medical fee). My dad earns about $1 a year. Currently my household has about $13 saved up in real estate, investments etc. Turns out when my mother and I joined him back in Jan, he had a debt of about $0.5 from "stock investments".

Yes because $10 is relative to an upper middle class salary in the UK and the fact to refer in $ is equally insulting, it is like you think this country is poor.

Anyway it sounds like this money is his, so therefore he should be allowed do as he pleases with it.

[Steezy]

It seems like your Dad is a bit of a ****.

But $13 - $0.5 = $12.5 and your uni fees will be $10? Unless the $12.5 is needed for something else, I don't really see how his debt has made much of a difference on anything really.

But if it's his money, he can do whatever he wants with it, doesn't mean he's a good person though.

[*Corinna*]

(Original post by tehFrance)
Yes because $10 is relative to an upper middle class salary in the UK and the fact to refer in $ is equally insulting, it is like you think this country is poor.

Anyway it sounds like this money is his, so therefore he should be allowed do as he pleases with it.

Oh come on, now you are just looking for an argument!! Let me break your bubble by saying that actually, some keyboards don't have the sign for £ unless you have your keyboard turned to UK English. My Greek keyboard for example only has $ and where £ should be it has #. Secondly the OP said that he is only using a figure to get his point out.

God, some people are plain idiots!!

[hvh]

It's hard to say who is right and who is wrong - evidently, it's your fathers money, he earnt it. However, in marriage "what's mine, is yours", your mother saved that money. With divorce in process also - won't this money get divided between the two of them anyway?

No one on this forum can settle your mother and fathers argument, and neither can you. All you can do is sit and hope that they come to some sort of agreement that will allow you to study abroad.

[Tudball]

Cor, I wish my university cost £10.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by chronic_fatigue)
It sounds like its your dad's money. Where they all your dad's investments?

To be fair, I do concede that he did earn the money and all, but to be fair again, even divorce settlements usually give 50/50 split on household income.

(also, he never even saved a penny beyond giving living expenses to my mum, who did all the saving and investing from that to even make it to this point. He's always contributed 40% or less to family income, spending the 60% on his "leisure activities")

(also, he's said he would refuse to support me until my age of consent - 20)

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Steezy)
It seems like your Dad is a bit of a ****.

But $13 - $0.5 = $12.5 and your uni fees will be $10? Unless the $12.5 is needed for something else, I don't really see how his debt has made much of a difference on anything really.

But if it's his money, he can do whatever he wants with it, doesn't mean he's a good person though.

Sorry that 0.5 should have been 2.

My complete mistake.