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Depressed because I pine after this guy

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Post on TSR and win a prize! Find out more... 10-04-2014
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    #1

    ...

    It's ridiculous, but everytime I think of him I go all serious and moody and unhappy.

    I barely know the guy, but he has me totally hooked. I'll never be with him, or even get anywhere with him, it's pathetic.

    Really brings me down. what do I do??? I'm not even around him very much at all anymore, but my feelings haven't changed.

    Seriously brings me down.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...

    It's ridiculous, but everytime I think of him I go all serious and moody and unhappy.

    I barely know the guy, but he has me totally hooked. I'll never be with him, or even get anywhere with him, it's pathetic.

    Really brings me down. what do I do??? I'm not even around him very much at all anymore, but my feelings haven't changed.

    Seriously brings me down.

    You sound really obsessed with this guy. It's not healthy. You sound like potential stalker and bunny boiler material. You sound scary. It sounds like there are more issues other than how this guy isn't returning your feelings.

    Anyway... have you even approached him? Do you feel confident enough to approach him? How do you know you'll never be with him or get anywhere with him?


    I know everyone says this and it's cheesy, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.

    You should concentrate on yourself and get some help. You could really do with talking to a councellor.
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    Odear Not quite sure what to suggest.
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    (Original post by jblackmoustache)
    You sound really obsessed with this guy. It's not healthy. You sound like a potential stalker. It sounds like there are more issues other than how this guy isn't returning your feelings.

    Anyway... have you even approached him? Do you feel confident enough to approach him? How do you know you'll never be with him or get anywhere with him?


    I know everyone says this and it's cheesy, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.
    Oh GOD, do I? I don't want to be like this!!! noo.

    I don't know what other issues you mean :confused:

    I've spoken to him (ages ago) like two or three times but I'll admit I don't know him that well at all. I know nothing will ever happen because we hardly ever bump into each other...thats why I don't get why I can't just forget him. Or just stop thinking about him and have this horrible sinking feeling.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh GOD, do I? I don't want to be like this!!! noo.

    I don't know what other issues you mean :confused:

    I've spoken to him (ages ago) like two or three times but I'll admit I don't know him that well at all. I know nothing will ever happen because we hardly ever bump into each other...thats why I don't get why I can't just forget him. Or just stop thinking about him and have this horrible sinking feeling.
    Have you asked him if he'd like to go to a cafe or something? Catch lunch or just chill in a bar. Something not serious? What's the worst that could happen? Have you thought about making a move or are you waiting for him to?

    Confidence issues. It doesn't sound like you value yourself much. You seem like you're putting this guy on a pedstal and basing your value on whether he likes you or not.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    The worse that could happen is that he gives me a funny look and says he really has to be somewhere else :rolleyes: I know my obsession with him is excessive and ridiculous, so it would literally break me if he wasn't interested.

    I'm not unconfident generally tbh, and I get quite a lot of attention from guys...it's just this ONE I really like, and no one else seems to compare to him. Therefore I'm not interested in anyone else. I don't kow why you're making me out to be some freak, have you never been really into anyone before??? Admittedly on a mostly instantaneous attraction level? (I'll add that he's not particularly good looking either, it's his general demeanour I'm attracted to)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The worse that could happen is that he gives me a funny look and says he really has to be somewhere else :rolleyes: I know my obsession with him is excessive and ridiculous, so it would literally break me if he wasn't interested.

    I'm not unconfident generally tbh, and I get quite a lot of attention from guys...it's just this ONE I really like, and no one else seems to compare to him. Therefore I'm not interested in anyone else. I don't kow why you're making me out to be some freak, have you never been really into anyone before??? Admittedly on a mostly instantaneous attraction level? (I'll add that he's not particularly good looking either, it's his general demeanour I'm attracted to)
    You have him on a pedestal atm, you can't say noone compares to someone you don't know. You've taken the little you know about him and projected your ideal preferences onto the things you don't know about him. You're not really obsessed with him just the idea of who he is (which is probably pretty far off from the truth)

    It's strange but I've seen it happen to loads of people male and female, you're not that weird.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by JD.27)
    You have him on a pedestal atm, you can't say noone compares to someone you don't know. You've taken the little you know about him and projected your ideal preferences onto the things you don't know about him. You're not really obsessed with him just the idea of who he is (which is probably pretty far off from the truth)

    It's strange but I've seen it happen to loads of people male and female, you're not that weird.
    Lol, thanks!

    Yeah I know you're right, I definitely need to screw my head back on, just don't know how :rolleyes: I thought it would pass, but it's been over a year like this...
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    ...

    It's ridiculous, but everytime I think of him I go all serious and moody and unhappy.

    I barely know the guy, but he has me totally hooked. I'll never be with him, or even get anywhere with him, it's pathetic.

    Really brings me down. what do I do??? I'm not even around him very much at all anymore, but my feelings haven't changed.

    Seriously brings me down.
    Hey i'm really surprised by some of the comments here. You do not sound crazy at all. You sound NORMAL. These are the emotions that NORMAL people experience. People experience unrequited love and unrequited lust all the time. Yes, you have him on a pedestal but that is how crushes work. Let me just emphasise again: you do NOT sound like a potential stalker or anything like the other people have suggested. Don't worry about it.

    The best thing to do, however, is get to know him and ask him out. Really, the only way to get out of an extreme crush / unrequited love is the grieving process, (which it sounds like you are already starting to experience) but which unfortunately, cannot be properly initiated until you know for sure that he is not interested, which requires asking him out. Let's be honest here, in the back of the mind, you hope that he is interested. The fact is you NEED to find out that he isn't for sure, or it WILL start to drive you up the wall.

    Good luck
    #2

    (Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood)
    Hey i'm really surprised by some of the comments here. You do not sound crazy at all. You sound NORMAL. These are the emotions that NORMAL people experience. People experience unrequited love and unrequited lust all the time. Yes, you have him on a pedestal but that is how crushes work. Let me just emphasise again: you do NOT sound like a potential stalker or anything like the other people have suggested. Don't worry about it.

    The best thing to do, however, is get to know him and ask him out. Really, the only way to get out of an extreme crush / unrequited love is the grieving process, (which it sounds like you are already starting to experience) but which unfortunately, cannot be properly initiated until you know for sure that he is not interested, which requires asking him out. Let's be honest here, in the back of the mind, you hope that he is interested. The fact is you NEED to find out that he isn't for sure, or it WILL start to drive you up the wall.
    Good luck
    I agree...you do NOT sound like a crazy stalker, lots of people have felt like this at some point, me included. So if this makes you a stalker, then damn, there are a hell of a lot of stalkers in the world!!

    I am going to be hypocritical now though (as I can't seem to take my own advice at the minute)...but just ask him for a drink or something!!!!! It's the only way to find out for sure if you ever stand a chance, and the worst he can say is no...

    Don't be a wimp like me, do something about it so you don't regret it later

    Good luck
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    Sounds like my ex, she was crackers about some chap from her distant past, it eventually softened the foundations of our relationship and needless to say, we are no more.
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    Whats the guys first name of out interest?
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    Sing him a song, what could possibly go wrong?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood)
    Hey i'm really surprised by some of the comments here. You do not sound crazy at all. You sound NORMAL. These are the emotions that NORMAL people experience. People experience unrequited love and unrequited lust all the time. Yes, you have him on a pedestal but that is how crushes work. Let me just emphasise again: you do NOT sound like a potential stalker or anything like the other people have suggested. Don't worry about it.

    The best thing to do, however, is get to know him and ask him out. Really, the only way to get out of an extreme crush / unrequited love is the grieving process, (which it sounds like you are already starting to experience) but which unfortunately, cannot be properly initiated until you know for sure that he is not interested, which requires asking him out. Let's be honest here, in the back of the mind, you hope that he is interested. The fact is you NEED to find out that he isn't for sure, or it WILL start to drive you up the wall.

    Good luck

    but then this is tsr, I think people get bored of being helpful or supportive with threads like these, and decide to throw the 'you're such a freak!!1 get a lifeee' or sarcastic comments :rolleyes: I didnt really take the stalker stuff seriously I know its all in my head and id never do anything crazy in reality.

    But yeah, talking to him again might take away his appeal...if I get the chance.

    Thankyou for your post
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Gwalchgwyn)
    Whats the guys first name of out interest?
    Do you think it might be you?

    Begins with r...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think it might be you?

    Begins with r...
    Well thats the first letter of my name :s

    Do you study geography at uni?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Gwalchgwyn)
    Well thats the first letter of my name :s

    Do you study geography at uni?
    no! I would have literally died if you were him
    #3

    Fml I'm in the same situation with a girl. It doesn't matter who else I get off with she just sticks about in my head. Stopped speaking to her months ago, haven't seen her in even longer but still after I've got with another girl it's like an instant 'wish it was her instead' afterwards.

    I know it's ridiculous but have no idea how to deal with it. Am just gonna ask her out at some point seeing as this isn't going away. Worst bit it is I'm sure she was interested too but the timing was a little off.

    Ahh well, just ask him out that way at least you know whether it's happening or not
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Fml I'm in the same situation with a girl. It doesn't matter who else I get off with she just sticks about in my head. Stopped speaking to her months ago, haven't seen her in even longer but still after I've got with another girl it's like an instant 'wish it was her instead' afterwards.

    I know it's ridiculous but have no idea how to deal with it. Am just gonna ask her out at some point seeing as this isn't going away. Worst bit it is I'm sure she was interested too but the timing was a little off.

    Ahh well, just ask him out that way at least you know whether it's happening or not
    How did you know she was interested? If you dont mind me asking

    Something else I regret is not showing my interest at the time, I cant even manage to do that, let alone ask him out its like the more I like a guy, the less I show it.

    Yep, fml.
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How did you know she was interested? If you dont mind me asking

    Something else I regret is not showing my interest at the time, I cant even manage to do that, let alone ask him out its like the more I like a guy, the less I show it.

    Yep, fml.
    We flirted back and forth, she wasn't ready to jump my bones but there was enough there for me to work with. I feel like she was waiting for me to make a move but I just dropped off, gonna pick it back up during the summer as its not going away.

    You have to show a little interest, that way at least you know whether its happening or not, its the potential of something being there and not knowing that'll keep you thinking about him. That's probs why I'm in this situation just cause it seemed to be leading somewhere and then it didn't.

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Updated: March 29, 2012
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