[Rascacielos]

My Mum's going to an interview for a new job today and I've been helping her prepare for it. It got me thinking about my own interviews and what not to say. I remember applying for a job as a lifeguard and I was naively expecting the interview to be quite casual. So I go into the interview room and am met by a panel of two people, both dressed in suits and looking very serious. After a couple of introductory questions, they asked me: "so what drives you?" 'What, like petrol?' Was my initial thought? Anyway, after a load of babble and really crappy/cheesy answer, I finished with the ultimate cheese: "so yeah, I generally love life really." What was I thinking?!

So, despite TSR being full of clever and talented people, everyone who has done a few interviews has produced a cringe-worthy answer to a question and I'd like to hear them. Also post whether you ended up getting the job or not. Needless to say, I didn't!

[internet tough guy]

So what weaknesses do you have?


Well...um....I guess can sometimes be .....umm.....a bit disorganised and leave things til the last minute...umm....yeah.......

[PatrickD]

It wasn't a job interview but a university one. I was really nervous and just kept saying, "Erm... I don't know."

The university themselves advise you to admit if you're not sure of an answer but to try and work out what it could be. I had a few ideas in my head but couldn't get any further than just thinking them.

Looking back, I wish I'd just said "I'm not sure" and then carried on saying what I was thinking anyway. Even if it was wrong I wouldn't have looked as stupid as I did just sitting there blankly!

[Tokyoround]

A consultant once told me to respond to "Describe your best quality"

with

"I am like water, I mould to any bowl you put me in and carry people along with my flow"

[WNB]

I was applying for a christmas job,

Interviewer: So you will be available to work through the holidays

Me: Well no, im going away for two weeks

[Rascacielos]

(Original post by Tokyoround)
A consultant once told me to respond to "Describe your best quality"

with

"I am like water, I mould to any bowl you put me in and carry people along with my flow"

That's a classic. Have you ever used it?!

[ArcadiaHouse]

For a part-time job at Lush.

Q: "What do you like about Lush?"

A: "It has a very distinctive smell."

[Aspiringlawstudent]

'I did not have sexual relations with that woman'.

[chocolate buttons]

Interview for Iceland customer assistant:

Q: Why do you want to work at Iceland?
A: I just want some money, really.

It was my first interview so I didn't know what to expect!

[Ultimate_Geek]

'Hope you don't mind me doing the interview in the back office, it's a bit small.'

'That's okay. Oooh, it is small! You're like a gremlin in a hole!'

As a passing comment:

'I do like your bag!'

'Thank you ! I have a real thing for leather!' . .

[marcusfox]

(Original post by Rascacielos)
My Mum's going to an interview for a new job today and I've been helping her prepare for it. It got me thinking about my own interviews and what not to say. I remember applying for a job as a lifeguard and I was naively expecting the interview to be quite casual. So I go into the interview room and am met by a panel of two people, both dressed in suits and looking very serious. After a couple of introductory questions, they asked me: "so what drives you?" 'What, like petrol?' Was my initial thought? Anyway, after a load of babble and really crappy/cheesy answer, I finished with the ultimate cheese: "so yeah, I generally love life really." What was I thinking?!

So, despite TSR being full of clever and talented people, everyone who has done a few interviews has produced a cringe-worthy answer to a question and I'd like to hear them. Also post whether you ended up getting the job or not. Needless to say, I didn't!

It's the questions they ask though. Just engage brain before opening mouth.

Some of my favourites -

Why did you leave your last employer? All they really need to know is did you leave or were you sacked. Instead they ask this question and because you know that Rule No. 1 is "Never, ever, slag off a previous employer at interview" they end up getting some crap answer, such as "I needed a new challenge." Realistically, in every situation, there are only two reasons for leaving a job. 1- crap money, 2 - crap job.

Why do you want to work for ...[McDonalds]? Another blinder here. In almost 100% of situations, your answer is "I need a job, and I'm willing to do whatever you say in the job advert for the money that you're offering." But we all know "Never say you just want a job." They want to hear, "I've always dreamt of working for McDonalds. Ever since I was born I worked very hard to gather experience and develop skills to have the honour of being useful to your amazing company."

Another is "What are your weaknesses?" No one is going to say, "Drugs, porn and slagging off my boss." No one will even say anything job related which is true like "I have the telephone manner of a retarded labrador" or "I'm not too good at switching on my PC, my wife has been doing it for me, but I've now got a manual, completed a short course in 'How to switch on and off your PC', so I am working on it and am actually making good progress." What they want to hear you say is "I'm a perfectionist and a workaholic, I get suicidal if a job is not well done or if I get to go home before 23:00."

[Tokyoround]

(Original post by Rascacielos)
That's a classic. Have you ever used it?!

God no! Luckily i'm quite good at interviews so took his advice with a pinch of salt!

(Original post by Ultimate_Geek)
'Hope you don't mind me doing the interview in the back office, it's a bit small.'

'That's okay. Oooh, it is small! You're like a gremlin in a hole!'

As a passing comment:

'I do like your bag!'

'Thank you ! I have a real thing for leather!' . .

Lol the realisation of what you said must have been embarrassing!

[MarshmallowBob]

Q: So what do you do in you spare time?
Ans: ahhh... ahhh.. i study... i study alot, and learn how to do cpr.
.... interesting.
the moment i stepped out i was like WTF DID I JUST SAY!!? (i had a basic life support exam the next day)

[alexlduffy]

"What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?"

"Socialising...and um...socialising"

This was, of course, before I realised that you should NEVER say that in an interview.

[arbaaz]

what do you know about this company
not much

why would you like to work at this company?

Insert name of a rival company and say I would love to work here because....

what are your weaknesses?

Honestly, speaking I'm not a morning person, I mean I only applied to this job cause it involved late starts.
Why do you want this job?

Um, because this company is fantastic and er, ....um.... ah, you know what I'll just tell you the truth,
I'm broke, and this job pays well... so um, can I have it then?

I think I'm too honest in interviews.

[laura130490]

Tell me about yourself-

Well I'm 20 years old, and erm... I like dance music and..... I have a black cat called Roly who can't meow. We got him from a rescue centre and he has a crooked mouth.....(spends the next 5 minutes talking about my cat).

They were all like

I actually got the job as well

[Golden_Boy786]

This wasn't a job related but was a university one.

Basically just to the end of the interview, i asked "So which Pharmaceutical industries does the university have connections with".

He said quite a few names. then he said that a large factory was shutting down it was called "Pfizer".

Then i said "Oh yeah, is that the one that produced viagra pills".

The interviewer just looked at me in shock when i said that. So funny.

[catoswyn]

(Original post by Rascacielos)
My Mum's going to an interview for a new job today and I've been helping her prepare for it. It got me thinking about my own interviews and what not to say. I remember applying for a job as a lifeguard and I was naively expecting the interview to be quite casual. So I go into the interview room and am met by a panel of two people, both dressed in suits and looking very serious. After a couple of introductory questions, they asked me: "so what drives you?" 'What, like petrol?' Was my initial thought? Anyway, after a load of babble and really crappy/cheesy answer, I finished with the ultimate cheese: "so yeah, I generally love life really." What was I thinking?!

So, despite TSR being full of clever and talented people, everyone who has done a few interviews has produced a cringe-worthy answer to a question and I'd like to hear them. Also post whether you ended up getting the job or not. Needless to say, I didn't!

It wasn't quite me but I was there.... my business partner and I were in a meeting to raise some finance and the panel asked 'so where do you see yourself in ten years time' and my partner replied, 'in a nice villa in Italy'.

There was a dreadful pause and lots of raised eyebrows...

She said afterwards it just came out of her mouth! LOL.

Anyway we got the money in the end but I'll always remember it.

[Glow in the dark]

My last interview at nationwide;

Q: So what has driven you to achieve the A grade in your A-level?

Me: Errm well obviously because it was an A



They both looked at me like I was a whole new unfounded species

[Steezy]

(Original post by alexlduffy)
"What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?"

"Socialising...and um...socialising"

This was, of course, before I realised that you should NEVER say that in an interview.

Why should you never say that? It's very important in my job to be a social person (taking clients out for drinks, meetings, etc). And I'm an accountant!