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What was your worst interview answer?

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    A job for pets at home
    What's your favourite pet?
    A dog because its nice a fluffy, I wouldn't want a kangaroo or something like that
    :doh: I have no idea why I said it! My mind just doesn't work sometimes!
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    (Original post by Tokyoround)
    A consultant once told me to respond to "Describe your best quality"

    with

    "I am like water, I mould to any bowl you put me in and carry people along with my flow"

    :facepalm2:
    Apprentice worthy!
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    Why should you never say that? It's very important in my job to be a social person (taking clients out for drinks, meetings, etc). And I'm an accountant!
    There are better ways of saying you're a people person and team player than "I like socializing"
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    At the 1st interview of an interview day:
    Q: What are you passionate about?
    A: F1

    At the 2nd interview of an interview day:
    Q: What was the name of the person who just interviewed you?
    A: I don't remember.
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    (Original post by marcusfox)
    It's the questions they ask though. Just engage brain before opening mouth.

    Some of my favourites -

    Why did you leave your last employer? All they really need to know is did you leave or were you sacked. Instead they ask this question and because you know that Rule No. 1 is "Never, ever, slag off a previous employer at interview" they end up getting some crap answer, such as "I needed a new challenge." Realistically, in every situation, there are only two reasons for leaving a job. 1- crap money, 2 - crap job.

    Why do you want to work for ...[McDonalds]? Another blinder here. In almost 100% of situations, your answer is "I need a job, and I'm willing to do whatever you say in the job advert for the money that you're offering." But we all know "Never say you just want a job." They want to hear, "I've always dreamt of working for McDonalds. Ever since I was born I worked very hard to gather experience and develop skills to have the honour of being useful to your amazing company."

    Another is "What are your weaknesses?" No one is going to say, "Drugs, porn and slagging off my boss." No one will even say anything job related which is true like "I have the telephone manner of a retarded labrador" or "I'm not too good at switching on my PC, my wife has been doing it for me, but I've now got a manual, completed a short course in 'How to switch on and off your PC', so I am working on it and am actually making good progress." What they want to hear you say is "I'm a perfectionist and a workaholic, I get suicidal if a job is not well done or if I get to go home before 23:00."
    I hate those questions. They're designed to catch you out, not an actual reflection of how good a candidate you are.
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    (Original post by Rascacielos)

    So, despite TSR being full of clever and talented people, everyone who has done a few interviews has produced a cringe-worthy answer to a question and I'd like to hear them. Also post whether you ended up getting the job or not. Needless to say, I didn't!
    *for a job in a British investment bank*

    Interviewer : What and where do you see yourself in 5 years?

    Me : I reckon I should be the manager of your current manager.

    (His manager choked on his coffee when he heard that.)

    Interviewer : How do you think this company could be turned around in the near term?

    Me : *explained some cash flow ratios and analysis, explained a few things with regard to market outlook* and then I reckon the quickest way to turn it around is to dismiss you and a few of your lapdogs.

    Interviewer : How do you think efficiency savings could be best achieved in this organization?

    Me : Merging of a few departments, pay freezes, head-count freeze, outsource a few other departments and then comes culling some of the deadwood which would start with a few in this very room.

    Interviewer : This room?

    Me : Absolutely, *pointed to 1 bloke at the end* He is playing Facebook, *pointed to another lady* She is playing Angry Birds , *points to the guy sitting next to him* He on the other hand hasn't heard a word of this interview because he is too busy having a BBM conversation...*cheekily* most likely with his wife that he is most terrified off.... he smiled aand laughed before saying he certainly isn't afraid of his wife. As he ended, I said and finally you.

    Interviewer : Me?

    Me : Yes, you Mr ******* should be the first one on the list to get a P45.

    Interviewer : Uhhhh...

    2 days later I had the offer letter in hand but I politely declined as I told them their bank is about to lose the goose that laid the golden eggs.

    Now you know why most senior investment bankers are some of the cockiest there is.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    This one was for an interview looking for a legal work experience at a high street law firm.

    Interviewer : Tell me an offensive lawyer joke.

    Me : What do you call a lawyer in Wales?

    Interviewer : Tell me?

    Me : A defender of sheep shagers.

    Interviewer : That is racist not offensive.

    Me : Seeing that you're a Liebour supporter any racism should be offensive as it goes contrary to your PC madness, therefore a Welsh racist joke should be offensive to you.

    Interviewer : Oh dear...... Let's move on from that. What type of lawyer do you aspire to be?

    Me : One that helps the rich, the privileged and the powerful.

    Interviewer : Excuse me?

    Me : You asked me who I'd like to be a lawyer to, those who could pay my fees are exactly the ones I'm most interested to help.

    Interviewer : What about those who cannot afford your no doubt expensive fees?

    Me : I don't view access to justice by the destitute as well as scum of society to be a matter of priority.

    Interviewer : Why did you come for this interview? Do you even know what this firm stands for?

    Me : I take it as a personal challenge to turn organizations around and ensure it becomes one of the most profitable ones in the industry in the shortest time possible.

    Interviewer : Rather ambitious aren't you sir?

    Me : I don't layabout and wait for opportunities to fall on my lap.

    Interviewer : Who would you most rather have as a client, an investment banker who had just committed a short-sell that went wrong, a rapist, a person who had just lost their benefit, a drug dealer or an illegal immigrant about to be deported, why and why not the rest?

    Me : How much is that drug dealer worth? Does he have any cash to pay upfront for fees?

    Interviewer : What if he does not have any money?

    Me : Then I will tell him where the door is.

    Interviewer : That's it then?

    Me : Most definitely.

    Me : As for who I would like, most definitely the investment banker, more than likely his company will have plenty to pay as fees.

    Interviewer : People like you make me sick. People like you should not be allowed to be lawyers, part of me want to tell you to get out as giving you legal work experience will be an utmost mistake but I feel I should give you a chance for the sole purpose of reformation.

    Me : That's it then I suppose? Good day sir.

    I didn't shake his hand, got up, took my coat and left.

    The next day his wife who is the other partner in the firm gave me a call and offered me a position, apparently her husband was rather impressed that I was confident and honest enough to at least tell the truth.

    I quit after 2 weeks.
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    (Original post by ArcadiaHouse)
    For a part-time job at Lush.

    Q: "What do you like about Lush?"

    A: "It has a very distinctive smell."
    Liking the quotes in your sig...

    Put me in there too?
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    (Original post by Herr)
    - Snip - .
    Damn, that's something. What do you work as now?
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    I had put 'watching films' as an interest in my personal statement, and my interviewer threw me when he asked what the last film I watched was, it was A Serbian Film, and of course, I didn't really like the idea of explaining the plot to him. I think I said I watched 12 Angry Men to try and impress him since he was quite old :facepalm:.
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    In an audition/interview for music college:

    interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years
    me: at the royal opera house
    interviewer: i think thats a pretty unreasonable goal to aim for in such a short space of time
    me: yeah, i, errm didnt mean like performing, i meant like, erm helping out or like erm backstage or chorus or something
    interviewer: so you don't think you're capable of becoming a successful singer in a short amount of time?

    fml.
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    Where can you see yourself in 5 years?

    A mirror
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    (Original post by Jenny_G)
    A job for pets at home
    What's your favourite pet?
    A dog because its nice a fluffy, I wouldn't want a kangaroo or something like that
    :doh: I have no idea why I said it! My mind just doesn't work sometimes!
    This is so cute
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    (Original post by Alexandra's Box)
    Liking the quotes in your sig...

    Put me in there too?
    Sure, why not?
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    (Original post by KKKKatie)
    In an audition/interview for music college:

    interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years
    me: at the royal opera house
    interviewer: i think thats a pretty unreasonable goal to aim for in such a short space of time
    me: yeah, i, errm didnt mean like performing, i meant like, erm helping out or like erm backstage or chorus or something
    interviewer: so you don't think you're capable of becoming a successful singer in a short amount of time?

    fml.
    What a mind**** :lolwut:

    I would have reminded him that Lady Gaga has only been famous for four years so he can STFU :cool:
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    (Original post by ArcadiaHouse)
    What a mind**** :lolwut:

    I would have reminded him that Lady Gaga has only been famous for four years so he can STFU :cool:
    haha i know!

    although i doubt lady gaga has had much operatic training...
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    (Original post by Herr)
    *for a job in a British investment bank*

    Interviewer : What and where do you see yourself in 5 years?

    Me : I reckon I should be the manager of your current manager.

    (His manager choked on his coffee when he heard that.)

    Interviewer : How do you think this company could be turned around in the near term?

    Me : *explained some cash flow ratios and analysis, explained a few things with regard to market outlook* and then I reckon the quickest way to turn it around is to dismiss you and a few of your lapdogs.

    Interviewer : How do you think efficiency savings could be best achieved in this organization?

    Me : Merging of a few departments, pay freezes, head-count freeze, outsource a few other departments and then comes culling some of the deadwood which would start with a few in this very room.

    Interviewer : This room?

    Me : Absolutely, *pointed to 1 bloke at the end* He is playing Facebook, *pointed to another lady* She is playing Angry Birds , *points to the guy sitting next to him* He on the other hand hasn't heard a word of this interview because he is too busy having a BBM conversation...*cheekily* most likely with his wife that he is most terrified off.... he smiled aand laughed before saying he certainly isn't afraid of his wife. As he ended, I said and finally you.

    Interviewer : Me?

    Me : Yes, you Mr ******* should be the first one on the list to get a P45.

    Interviewer : Uhhhh...

    2 days later I had the offer letter in hand but I politely declined as I told them their bank is about to lose the goose that laid the golden eggs.

    Now you know why most senior investment bankers are some of the cockiest there is.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    This one was for an interview looking for a legal work experience at a high street law firm.

    Interviewer : Tell me an offensive lawyer joke.

    Me : What do you call a lawyer in Wales?

    Interviewer : Tell me?

    Me : A defender of sheep shagers.

    Interviewer : That is racist not offensive.

    Me : Seeing that you're a Liebour supporter any racism should be offensive as it goes contrary to your PC madness, therefore a Welsh racist joke should be offensive to you.

    Interviewer : Oh dear...... Let's move on from that. What type of lawyer do you aspire to be?

    Me : One that helps the rich, the privileged and the powerful.

    Interviewer : Excuse me?

    Me : You asked me who I'd like to be a lawyer to, those who could pay my fees are exactly the ones I'm most interested to help.

    Interviewer : What about those who cannot afford your no doubt expensive fees?

    Me : I don't view access to justice by the destitute as well as scum of society to be a matter of priority.

    Interviewer : Why did you come for this interview? Do you even know what this firm stands for?

    Me : I take it as a personal challenge to turn organizations around and ensure it becomes one of the most profitable ones in the industry in the shortest time possible.

    Interviewer : Rather ambitious aren't you sir?

    Me : I don't layabout and wait for opportunities to fall on my lap.

    Interviewer : Who would you most rather have as a client, an investment banker who had just committed a short-sell that went wrong, a rapist, a person who had just lost their benefit, a drug dealer or an illegal immigrant about to be deported, why and why not the rest?

    Me : How much is that drug dealer worth? Does he have any cash to pay upfront for fees?

    Interviewer : What if he does not have any money?

    Me : Then I will tell him where the door is.

    Interviewer : That's it then?

    Me : Most definitely.

    Me : As for who I would like, most definitely the investment banker, more than likely his company will have plenty to pay as fees.

    Interviewer : People like you make me sick. People like you should not be allowed to be lawyers, part of me want to tell you to get out as giving you legal work experience will be an utmost mistake but I feel I should give you a chance for the sole purpose of reformation.

    Me : That's it then I suppose? Good day sir.

    I didn't shake his hand, got up, took my coat and left.

    The next day his wife who is the other partner in the firm gave me a call and offered me a position, apparently her husband was rather impressed that I was confident and honest enough to at least tell the truth.

    I quit after 2 weeks.
    I can't figure out if you're a d1ck or a liar
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    or both.
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    (Original post by Herr)
    He is playing Facebook
    You clearly got all these cut-throat job offers because of your enviable language skills. :rolleyes:
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    "Well I'd never really thought much about a career in law before."

    This was for a graduate law assistant job. FML.
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    at an RSAMD audition

    man auditioning me: 'So, tell us how a trombone works'

    me: :lolwut: had absolutely no idea what to say and just froze up. annoying thing is, I know how a trombone works fine.


    absolute worst audition/interview ever. Prepared the complete wrong piece, fluffed pretty much every question.

    so no surprise when they didn't let me in then.

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Updated: August 16, 2012
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