Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
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Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain
Before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Before I change again...
Before I change again...
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Before I change again...
I am going to write more but is this any thing like poetry ? -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?No English is not my first language. I know four more other languages, I'm sure you just know English.(Original post by seanfromtheblock)
it's a bit repetitive, and some of the lines don't really make sense, is English your first language?
Your suppose to find the hidden meaning which obviously you have failed to understand. -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?No need to be rude about it...(Original post by Xamanus)
No English is not my first language. I know four more other languages, I'm sure you just know English.
Your suppose to find the hidden meaning which obviously you have failed to understand.
There are a couple of grammatical mistakes, that's all.
And hidden meaning is meant to be for the reader to find, not for the poet to point out. -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?you're not even the OP(Original post by Xamanus)
No English is not my first language. I know four more other languages, I'm sure you just know English.
Your suppose to find the hidden meaning which obviously you have failed to understand.
And who are you to assume which languages I can speak? -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?If you're looking for an honest opinion it seems rather elementary. I'm not a poet and have written few and could bash something like that out in 10 minutes. Poets need to be unique and have real depth, meaning and feeling to them. It's too repetitive and contains too many grammatical errors to be considered seriously.(Original post by Dr.Thrax)
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain
Before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Before I change again...
Before I change again...
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Before I change again...
I am going to write more but is this any thing like poetry ? -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
There's really no need to be so harsh, everyone has to start somewhere! But yes, some things do need work. It actually seems more like a song than a poem. Yes there are grammatical errors but in a song this would be less noticeable. What would be useful, if you're actually looking for some constructive criticism would be to keep the
'Before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Before I change again...'
as more of a refrain and at more stanzas in between to create some variety. also try changing the line 'Remind me the story that I won't get insane' to 'Tell me the story so I won't go insane'?
I don't know whether that's helpful...or whether you wanted help! -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?
This needs to be read fast.
------
I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen
I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
fears and regrets
I want to know you, better than I know myself
I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
all back
I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
-----Last edited by Dr.Thrax; 30-03-2012 at 13:44. -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?
This needs to be read fast.
------
I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen
I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
fears and regrets
I want to know you, better than I know myself
I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
all back
I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?(Original post by Dr.Thrax)
I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?
This needs to be read fast.
------
I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen
I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
fears and regrets
I want to know you, better than I know myself
I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
all back
I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
-----Did you fall asleep at your computer for 9 hours and accidentally double post?(Original post by Dr.Thrax)
I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?
This needs to be read fast.
------
I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen
I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
fears and regrets
I want to know you, better than I know myself
I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
all back
I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?That's better but do you mind explaining the meaning of the poem? Instead of repeating a bit at the end it could do with a more concluding line. Again it is a little more like a song. Poems need to be more clever IMO. I don't read poetry though...(Original post by Dr.Thrax)
I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?
This needs to be read fast.
------
I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen
I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
fears and regrets
I want to know you, better than I know myself
I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am
I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
all back
I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
start
to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have
I'm playing the game
the one that will take me to my end
I'm waiting for the rain
to wash who I am -
Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
You're an infeccted mushroom fan too?
http://www.lyricsbay.com/i_wish_lyri..._mushroom.html
http://www.leoslyrics.com/infected-m...insane-lyrics/
Probably one of the worsts trolls I have seen