Do i have what it takes to a poet ?

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  1. Dr.Thrax's Avatar
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    Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    Wake me up before I change again
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Tell me why it's always the same
    Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain

    Before I change again
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Before I change again...

    Before I change again...
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Before I change again...



    I am going to write more but is this any thing like poetry ?
  2. seanfromtheblock's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    it's a bit repetitive, and some of the lines don't really make sense, is English your first language?
  3. ohdeer's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    It doesn't matter what you call yourself, just keep writing if you are enjoying it and you can see what comes along from there.

    Calling yourself a 'poet' is okay if it gives you confidence, but really it doesn't have to be about a title, just the doing!
  4. Xamanus's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    (Original post by seanfromtheblock)
    it's a bit repetitive, and some of the lines don't really make sense, is English your first language?
    No English is not my first language. I know four more other languages, I'm sure you just know English.


    Your suppose to find the hidden meaning which obviously you have failed to understand.
  5. magicmuggle's Avatar
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    • Location: London
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    (Original post by Xamanus)
    No English is not my first language. I know four more other languages, I'm sure you just know English.


    Your suppose to find the hidden meaning which obviously you have failed to understand.
    No need to be rude about it...

    There are a couple of grammatical mistakes, that's all.

    And hidden meaning is meant to be for the reader to find, not for the poet to point out.
  6. seanfromtheblock's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    (Original post by Xamanus)
    No English is not my first language. I know four more other languages, I'm sure you just know English.


    Your suppose to find the hidden meaning which obviously you have failed to understand.
    you're not even the OP


    And who are you to assume which languages I can speak?
  7. RobertWhite's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    (Original post by Dr.Thrax)
    Wake me up before I change again
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Tell me why it's always the same
    Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain

    Before I change again
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Before I change again...

    Before I change again...
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Before I change again...



    I am going to write more but is this any thing like poetry ?
    If you're looking for an honest opinion it seems rather elementary. I'm not a poet and have written few and could bash something like that out in 10 minutes. Poets need to be unique and have real depth, meaning and feeling to them. It's too repetitive and contains too many grammatical errors to be considered seriously.
  8. A level Az's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    I've seen better from kids in primary school, and I'm not exagerrating in the slightest.
  9. hr30's Avatar
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    • Location: Near (but not in) Grimsby
    • Posts: 186
    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    There's really no need to be so harsh, everyone has to start somewhere! But yes, some things do need work. It actually seems more like a song than a poem. Yes there are grammatical errors but in a song this would be less noticeable. What would be useful, if you're actually looking for some constructive criticism would be to keep the

    'Before I change again
    Remind me the story that I won't get insane
    Before I change again...'

    as more of a refrain and at more stanzas in between to create some variety. also try changing the line 'Remind me the story that I won't get insane' to 'Tell me the story so I won't go insane'?

    I don't know whether that's helpful...or whether you wanted help!
  10. Dr.Thrax's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?



    This needs to be read fast.
    ------
    I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen

    I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
    fears and regrets
    I want to know you, better than I know myself
    I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
    all back
    I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
    start
    to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
    to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    -----
    Last edited by Dr.Thrax; 30-03-2012 at 13:44.
  11. Dr.Thrax's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?



    This needs to be read fast.
    ------
    I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen

    I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
    fears and regrets
    I want to know you, better than I know myself
    I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
    all back
    I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
    start
    to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
    to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am
  12. Id and Ego seek's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    'to a poet?'

    To or not to, that is the question.
  13. James82's Avatar
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    • Posts: 1,220
    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    (Original post by Dr.Thrax)
    I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?



    This needs to be read fast.
    ------
    I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen

    I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
    fears and regrets
    I want to know you, better than I know myself
    I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
    all back
    I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
    start
    to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
    to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    -----
    (Original post by Dr.Thrax)
    I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?



    This needs to be read fast.
    ------
    I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen

    I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
    fears and regrets
    I want to know you, better than I know myself
    I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
    all back
    I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
    start
    to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
    to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am
    Did you fall asleep at your computer for 9 hours and accidentally double post?
  14. RobertWhite's Avatar
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    • Location: Cheam
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    (Original post by Dr.Thrax)
    I guess im not really a poet, but is this a decent attempt ? Probally more like a song ?



    This needs to be read fast.
    ------
    I wish to give, to take, to make, to check, I wanna see it happen

    I want to see, to be, the one that plays the game without no
    fears and regrets
    I want to know you, better than I know myself
    I want to feel the end, and enjoy the consequence

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am

    I want to move, to loose, to take the grooves, and to give it
    all back
    I want to take the time rewind, and to kick it right from the
    start
    to be unknown and all alone, lose the kind that are behind
    to start a new play by myself and to give the best I have

    I'm playing the game
    the one that will take me to my end
    I'm waiting for the rain
    to wash who I am
    That's better but do you mind explaining the meaning of the poem? Instead of repeating a bit at the end it could do with a more concluding line. Again it is a little more like a song. Poems need to be more clever IMO. I don't read poetry though...
  15. aroy45's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    You're an infeccted mushroom fan too?
    http://www.lyricsbay.com/i_wish_lyri..._mushroom.html
    http://www.leoslyrics.com/infected-m...insane-lyrics/

    Probably one of the worsts trolls I have seen
  16. translucent's Avatar
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    • Posts: 744
    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    wake me up before you go go,
    wake me up before you go go,
  17. SophiaKeuning's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    Sounds more like a song than a poem.
  18. Lazar Wolf's Avatar
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    • Posts: 82
    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    The angst, the pain that you feel is all part of a poet.

    Earth it, write it down, but remember to do so with beauty in mind, because beauty is truth, and is the only way out of this pain.

    Regards.
  19. Lazar Wolf's Avatar
    • Full Member
    • Posts: 82
    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    The angst, the pain that you feel is all part of a poet.

    Earth it, write it down, but remember to do so with beauty in mind, because beauty is truth, and is the only way out of this pain.

    I like your poem. There is no right or wrong answer.

    Regards.
  20. Rascacielos's Avatar
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    Re: Do i have what it takes to a poet ?
    I'm not an expert, but I'd say poetry is a bit like art in the sense that there's not really one criteria you have to satisfy in order for your work to be classed as 'poetry'. What one person likes, another might not and vice versa.
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