You're probably wondering how things with me and the said person are going. Well she said that at a particular meeting she was going to ask me out. So I said that if she had of asked me, I would have said yes. I even told her that I would have asked her out, but I didn't realise that she split up with her ex-boyfriend until she got with her current girlfriend. She thanked me and seemed to be pleased that I told her. We're still friends. I care about her so much. A part of me wants to stay friends with her, because I couldn't bear losing her. I feel like a terrible person for even allowing myself to be in a position in which I'm hurting myself and could potentially hurt her. I could have torn her relationship and destroyed her happiness. I didn't, but where does that leave me? I'm still hurting like mad, what do I do?
I still wake up every morning feeling sick. I thought it would get better after having my exam yesterday but it's only gotten worse. I have my PBL work and group to worry about, her, her girlfriend, my lgbt soc (which I stupidly got elected to help out with campaigns and now have withdrawn due to the fact it would make my life 100 times more complicated than it already is), my family and perhaps most importantly my emotional, physical and mental health. Everyone wants a piece of me at the moment and I can't cope. I really feel as if I've let everyone down.
As an introvert all of this stimulus isn't good for me. I can go for days without seeing anyone and it doesn't even affect me in the slightest. I can't help but think I need to do this: "When you get bit by a snake, you have to suck out all the poison, that's what I had to do, suck all the poison out of my life."
I really need to do more little rants everyday instead of letting them all build up into one mental-breakdown sized rant
Apologies for being a constant downer recently, to make up for it, please accept the gift of lolcats =^_^=
Best start cracking on the PBL work, they want it in today... like **** that's going to happen. Pathophysiology of CRF here I come!
Edit: Just found out that there was a fire in her shared kitchen yesterday It's right next to her room.
If I had split them up when I had the chance and she hadn't had gone back to her girlfriends house last night and the fire was worse she could have died... I was out with her up town then, so inadvertently, I stopped her from getting hurt... feels better now
Last edited by BioFurMatPhyStudent; 04-05-2012 at 15:49.