Results are out! Find what you need...fast. Get quick advice or join the chat
Hey there Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My ongoing relationship drama- can you beat it?

Announcements Posted on
Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm definitely meant to be in an episode of Hollyoaks with kind of story...

    Okay so I started chatting to this guy, i'll call him Jim in my story. He'd been at my college for a year, but we'd never really spoken before. I was in another relationship at the time, but it was pretty rocky and not going to last. I started talking to Jim more and more, and as my feelings developed I realised my relationship was wrong, and so I ended it. I very soon after got with Jim, and then it turned out we were going to the same Uni together (the decision had already been made before we got together). The situation seemed perfect, I was now going off to Uni with the love of my life Jim.

    Very quickly after we arrived at Uni (in freshers week), cracks began to show. Without a doubt, I was the one that ****ed up. At the time I needed a lot more time and attention that what I was being given (I'm a very insecure person), and I ended the relationship very suddenly. Jim was devastated and fought a lot. I was very cold to him (looking back I don’t know how I did it, because I really did love him at the time), but I thought it might help him get over me.

    Then, I was an idiot. Very quickly (two weeks tops) I started something with my house mate- i'll call him John for the story. He was there all the time, it was convenient, and he seemed to worship me. I guess I was flattered and loved the attention. This was obviously horrible for Jim- he saw us together etc. I had a nice relationship with John for awhile. Nothing spectacular, but it was nice. I soon began to think about Jim a lot. But knew how much i'd hurt him, and believed that he'd moved and was happy, so I stayed well away.

    I stayed with John for almost a year; he broke up with me the day before we were due to start second year of uni. I was shocked, being with him had become the norm, and I'd just moved into a new student house with him (I'm still living with my ex now). In the next few weeks I basically couldn’t stop thinking about Jim and what we use to have. After starting to talk to Jim again I realised how much i'd hurt him and I felt horrendous. He was there for me and lovely when I didn’t deserve it. I never expected us to get back together after what i'd done- however it ended up happening.

    Jim and I had a few nice months together and then things started to go wrong, I was having a stressful and depressive time, and was probably a lot colder to him than I meant to be. We had a mutual break up, but it wasn’t really what either of us wanted. We stayed in contact, and then both realised we'd made a mistake and ended up getting back together again.

    Then it all went so horribly wrong again. I could tell Jim was being different with me- and so questioned him, hoping I was just being silly. It turned out that he wasnt sure if he felt the same about me anymore. I was devastated. After everything we'd been through I thought we were finally on track. I couldn't believe it, and told him he'd made a mistake. A week or so later we ended up getting together and agreeing to give it another try (for the last time).

    A month later, again, I thought things were going well. Until he told me he fancied someone else (he's a brutally honest guy)....But he said he still enjoyed being with me etc, so we carried on. I obviously found this horrible and was extremely paranoid, but tried really hard to put it to the back of my mind and make us work.

    Again, I thought it was going well. But then a few weeks ago Jim cheated on me, with the girl he'd previously told me he fancied. Words can't describe how I felt. I'd always thought so much of him, and never ever thought he'd do that to me. I told him not to speak to me again, and this time I thought it was over for good.

    Jim contacted me recently to see how I was, he says he's sorry and it's the worst thing he's ever done- and I believe him. It's been a few weeks since we broke up now, but last night we ended up seeing each other, and scarily things felt just how they always were. We get on so well, and neither of us have ever felt like this about anyone else before. We seem to have this hold over each other.

    We’re not back together, but I’m so confused as I still have feelings for him. Are we fighting a losing battle here, or are we somehow meant to be together? :confused:

    Believe it or not this is a very short version of the story, thanks for reading if you made it this far!
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I don't understand how people can live with this level of unnecessary complexity??
    Give it one last try with Jim. See if you can have a simple, happy, uncomplicated relationship.
    Not so hopeful myself...
    • 1 follower
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    There's some serious drama going on here.
    You must love each other very intensely. From the look of it, you should go out with him again.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by caseyhayes)
    I don't understand how people can live with this level of unnecessary complexity??
    Give it one last try with Jim. See if you can have a simple, happy, uncomplicated relationship.
    Not so hopeful myself...
    Is there such thing as a simple and uncomplicated relationship? I'm doubtful these days...
    • 9 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    I feel like I can beat your relationship drama - or tell a story that's a dramatic as - I feel like I'm playing in part in Eastenders right now.
    I would say yes, you are fighting a losing battle to keep breaking up and trying to get back together again.
    But I can't sit here and tell you what to do.
    I suggest you both have time out from each other, maybe a month or two, to both consider what you really want. Both think about it carefully then after your time out if you still feel the same and still really like each other, maybe try and give it another go?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by StartSomething)
    I feel like I can beat your relationship drama - or tell a story that's a dramatic as - I feel like I'm playing in part in Eastenders right now.
    I would say yes, you are fighting a losing battle to keep breaking up and trying to get back together again.
    But I can't sit here and tell you what to do.
    I suggest you both have time out from each other, maybe a month or two, to both consider what you really want. Both think about it carefully then after your time out if you still feel the same and still really like each other, maybe try and give it another go?
    Thanks, I definitely agree that time out is needed. It's just difficult to stay apart because we depend on each other so much for advice and support
    • 0 followers
    Offline

    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by caseyhayes)
    I don't understand how people can live with this level of unnecessary complexity??
    Give it one last try with Jim. See if you can have a simple, happy, uncomplicated relationship.
    Not so hopeful myself...
    Agree!

    being unhappy = time waste

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. By joining you agree to our Ts and Cs, privacy policy and site rules

  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: April 2, 2012
New on TSR
Article updates
Reputation gems:
You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.