[Anonymous]

It’s my 21st birthday soon, and I’d like to have a party, and also my parents think it’d be a nice idea, but I’m not sure. When I was younger, like 11, 12, I had some parties at my house and stuff, though for the past 4 or 5 years I’ve tended to just go for a quiet meal with my friends and boyfriend, and celebrate separately with family, and which I’ve always enjoyed.
The year before last I tried to arrange a big night out and invited people from uni etc., but only about 2 people confirmed they would be attending, and people were saying they couldn’t make this or that date etc. so I decided it would be easier to not bother.
I have a small group of people I would consider close friends, and then a few acquaintances. I’m considering maybe first checking what date most people can make, and then maybe hiring a place, or a restaurant, depending how expensive it would be. I’ve counted about 25 people I’d like to invite, and then around 12 family members.
However, I’ve heard some mates in the past slag off these kinds of things, for instance, saying they’ve been to parties where pubs or halls etc. were hired out and it was ‘babyish’ and ‘boring’, 'like a 5 year old's party', and I’ve also been at some of these parties and I’ve seen people leaving pretty early to go out to nightclubs etc., which I think is rude.
I resent that we live in a society where many people seem to think that unless you’re getting smashed in some nightclub then it’s ‘boring’. I’m really not a massive drinker and don’t go clubbing very often, I only really go to see my friends because they enjoy going. My parents have offered to pay for this as a 21st present, which is very kind of them, and I know there are more ‘hip’ venues you can hire out, for instance a friend is having a 21st at a posh country club, but they are quite rich and we aren’t, I wouldn’t expect my parents to pay loads. Also, our house isn’t really big enough for a big party.
So, it would be nice to celebrate my 21st with both family and friends and have a party, but I’m unsure because I feel people would either complain it’s boring or babyish, and leave early to go clubbing, or drop out at the last minute after the venue had been paid for etc. What would others do?

[Tudball]

Invite better friends, perhaps?

[MathematicsKiller]

People in general will be inconsiderate *******s.

You're better off doing a small party for you family in your house, and then just going out with your friends some other day.
Mixing friends and family for a birthday party, I have always felt, is a very bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies Maybe i'm just overreacting about it, i'm just going off previous experience and what people seem to have said about them. I would like one, but the second post is a good idea, maybe just do it with family and boyfriend, and then something else with friends, then there's no worry about people leaving etc.

[MathematicsKiller]

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the replies Maybe i'm just overreacting about it, i'm just going off previous experience and what people seem to have said about them. I would like one, but the second post is a good idea, maybe just do it with family and boyfriend, and then something else with friends, then there's no worry about people leaving etc.

Glad to be of assistance. Always works for me that way.

[twelve]

It really depends on your friends - a couple of my friends I can imagine doing that kind of thing, and it being really fun, but there are others that I just can't see it working. Because of how different their family and friends are. And also because some of them would rather be out clubbing (some friends I've got, their parents would probably go clubbing with them :P)

Sorry I know that didn't really help you - all I'm saying is if your family and friends are similiar and would get along, it might be a good idea, but if you'd spend your time going between them all, then you wouldn't enjoy yourself. And besides, its more important that you enjoy yourself!

I would do them separately - thats what I've planned for my 21st (even though its a long way away) because I have a big family I literally see once a year, I'd like to have a big party with all of them round, and would probably only invite my closest friends, and do a separate night out with all of my friends.So yeah, there's no definitive answer, its completely up to you.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by twelve)
It really depends on your friends - a couple of my friends I can imagine doing that kind of thing, and it being really fun, but there are others that I just can't see it working. Because of how different their family and friends are. And also because some of them would rather be out clubbing (some friends I've got, their parents would probably go clubbing with them :P)

Sorry I know that didn't really help you - all I'm saying is if your family and friends are similiar and would get along, it might be a good idea, but if you'd spend your time going between them all, then you wouldn't enjoy yourself. And besides, its more important that you enjoy yourself!

I would do them separately - thats what I've planned for my 21st (even though its a long way away) because I have a big family I literally see once a year, I'd like to have a big party with all of them round, and would probably only invite my closest friends, and do a separate night out with all of my friends.So yeah, there's no definitive answer, its completely up to you.

Thanks