[OliS]

Hey,

I recently uploaded a video of my first piece of performance poetry to YouTube. I've embedded it below, and would really appreciate any feedback. I'm also interested to know, has anyone on here tried anything similar?



Thanks!

[toronto353]

Hi,
First of all thank you for uploading some performance poetry. Writing poetry and conveying the feelings that you want to convey can be difficult so I applaud you on this attempt. There were moments where I felt that you achieved this (especially in the final few lines) and many of the similes. I'd perhaps look to choose a shorter piece for your next project and attempt to really get all the emotion from it. At times, it felt that you were trying to get to the end of the poem rather than trying to share your enjoyment of the poem and so I would look to slow down (0:30 - 1:00 felt like there was a loss of meaning due to this). I'd also look to watch your pronunciation and make sure that you pronounce every sound of every word. Try to alter the tone of your voice more to help to convey emotion.

This is a great attempt at performance poetry, but it's about fine tuning what you have.

I look forward to listening to your future work,

toronto353

[OliS]

(Original post by toronto353)
Hi,
First of all thank you for uploading some performance poetry. Writing poetry and conveying the feelings that you want to convey can be difficult so I applaud you on this attempt. There were moments where I felt that you achieved this (especially in the final few lines) and many of the similes. I'd perhaps look to choose a shorter piece for your next project and attempt to really get all the emotion from it. At times, it felt that you were trying to get to the end of the poem rather than trying to share your enjoyment of the poem and so I would look to slow down (0:30 - 1:00 felt like there was a loss of meaning due to this). I'd also look to watch your pronunciation and make sure that you pronounce every sound of every word. Try to alter the tone of your voice more to help to convey emotion.

This is a great attempt at performance poetry, but it's about fine tuning what you have.

I look forward to listening to your future work,

toronto353

Hey,

Thanks a lot for your feedback, I'll be sure to apply it in the future.