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should you sleep with a drunk girl?

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    The new rape campaign raises the question of the sometimes blurry line between consensual sex and rape, if a girl is totally wasted and doesn't officially say she wants to sleep with you can she really say yes? Just something to think about, I think men should seriously think twice about sleeping with a girl who's eyes are rolling back in her head! I know girls should take some responsibility but guys really need to as well
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    That applies to anyone, whatever sex they are, tbh.

    Frankly, if someone is that drunk, I don't consider them to be in a fit state to make that sort of decision, so I won't sleep with them.

    A few years ago at a party, the guy who I was 'sort of' seeing at the time, was really really drunk. (I didn't realise until a few hours in, quite how drunk, but anyway.) In his drunken state, he decided he wanted sex, but I managed to talk him out of it. I would have felt like I was taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable state.
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    Do we need to get a certificate for this "official" mode of consent? :rolleyes: If so, is there a special stamp of authenticity? :deal:

    (Original post by emma t)
    men should seriously think twice about sleeping with a girl who's eyes are rolling back in her head
    What makes you think we don't?
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    I wouldn't want to sleep with a totally wasted ONS, especially if we'd never had sex before.
    I would sleep with my other half if he said he wanted it and were both totally wasted. Drunk sex is fun/funny.

    Perspective, people.
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    Legally:

    Drunken consent is still consent.
    If she is so drunk so that she cannot consent, then clearly having sex would be rape.

    Some reading for those interested in the law (quite a short piece but interesting nonetheless): voluntarily intoxicated consent: rape or regret?

    Moving away from the law - I would not want to have sex with someone who was very drunk. Just because it would probably be quite awkward afterwards.
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    Legally speaking, if someone is unable to give consent then having sex with them is rape. If they have taken drugs or had enough to drink that they judgement is impaired, they are not considered capable of giving consent. Consent is more than just saying 'yes' (or not saying 'no'). It has to be a free, informed choice without pressure.

    How drunk is too drunk? Judge it badly and things can turn nasty if one of the individuals later decides/realises that they didn't give consent. It's a risk that you take when you have sex with a drunk person and it's a risk you take with them as much as with yourself. The safest option (for everyone involved) is to wait until sober.

    I'll have sex with a partner while one or more of us is drunk but I wouldn't gamble with a stranger or casual encounter.
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    I don't think that anyone in that state should be having sex, but I understand that some people think it's okay if the other person is wasted. At the end of the day, their intoxication is so high that they can't really give informed consent to have sex. So, regardless of what gender, I think it's wrong to have sex with someone that's that drunk.
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    it annoys me that there are men facing rape charges after sleeping with girls who got too drunk on a night out, and decided to absolve all responsibility by crying rape...
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    (Original post by InnerTemple)
    Legally:

    Drunken consent is still consent.
    If she is so drunk so that she cannot consent, then clearly having sex would be rape.

    Some reading for those interested in the law (quite a short piece but interesting nonetheless): voluntarily intoxicated consent: rape or regret?

    Moving away from the law - I would not want to have sex with someone who was very drunk. Just because it would probably be quite awkward afterwards.
    Very valid point.
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    (Original post by ceris)
    it annoys me that there are men facing rape charges after sleeping with girls who got too drunk on a night out, and decided to absolve all responsibility by crying rape...
    The point is that if someone's judgement is impaired by alcohol, they are not considered responsible and aware enough to give consent. If someone has sex with someone they know to be intoxicated, they are taking the risk that whatever garbled 'yes' they get from their companion is not a genuine, free and informed agreement. Rape doesn't have to be an act of malice - it can happen as a result of over enthusiasm or poor judgement. However, lack of 'evil intention' doesn't suddenly make invalid 'consent' from their partner valid. This is why education is important. We need to help people understand how to protect themselves and that goes both ways.

    There may be cases where the consent was valid at the time and someone cries 'rape' to avoid shame or (as you say) attempt to absolve themselves of responsibility. Any time where someone is wrongly accused is sad, especially when the accuser knows that the accused is innocent. However, the presence of such possibilities shouldn't lead us to be cynical about the majority of cases. People do get raped while drunk, and sometimes they've even agreed to sex but their consent is invalidated by their inability to properly understand what is happening and make an informed and free choice.
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    No, it's not advisable.

    Despite the recent campaign, it meets the legal criteria for rape (in both actus reus and mens rea).
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    (Original post by emma t)
    The new rape campaign raises the question of the sometimes blurry line between consensual sex and rape, if a girl is totally wasted and doesn't officially say she wants to sleep with you can she really say yes? Just something to think about, I think men should seriously think twice about sleeping with a girl who's eyes are rolling back in her head! I know girls should take some responsibility but guys really need to as well
    You clearly have an agenda. Why don't you just move to Sweden with all your other buddies.

    I don't need a government advertising camping to tell me that sex with someone who doesn't want it is rape. Just another victory for feminism sadly......
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    If you are both too drunk, who raped who?
    #1

    On a night out with friends I got extremely drunk (I hadn't drank for such a long time and forgot that tolerance decreases) to the extent that I chucked up in a pub and was dragged home by a guy I new (he literally dragged me and I even had a massive gash on my leg). I passed out when I got back but he'd obviously taken advantage of my drunken state as when I woke up naked the next day I was confronted with "you're on the pill aren't you as I didn't use a condom".
    Sex with the guy was the last thing I wanted as I didn't like him before that but I've obviously not forgiven him for it (he's in my 'friendship group'). Things got worse when he started going out with my bestfriend as now my relationship with her has changed (due to me not going out with the group anymore as not wanting to see him).
    Sorry for the long post, but basically no, I don't think people should sleep with drunken people (male or female)
    #2

    What if she comes onto you while she was drunk off her senses? Its not like she would remember it was her that made the move and would still just cry rape...
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    (Original post by ceris)
    it annoys me that there are men facing rape charges after sleeping with girls who got too drunk on a night out, and decided to absolve all responsibility by crying rape...
    Yes, which is why no man should sleep with a drunken woman.

    (Original post by Schmokie Dragon)
    The point is that if someone's judgement is impaired by alcohol, they are not considered responsible and aware enough to give consent. If someone has sex with someone they know to be intoxicated, they are taking the risk that whatever garbled 'yes' they get from their companion is not a genuine, free and informed agreement.
    But the other person could be drunk too, it works both ways, if they are both drunk they might not even know what's going on. They are both to blame, you can't really blame the other person if they didn't decide to rape, i.e. they were drunk and at the time thought that's what the victim wanted.

    And in scenarios like that advert, if you've gotten drunk at a party, led a boy to a bedroom and then started kissing him first then wow. You're doing yourself no favours.
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    No, I don't think you SHOULD sleep with someone who is drunk. Personally, just not my taste.

    However, I do think it a bit strange that females can legally "lose" their responsibilities when it comes to being inebriated.

    If I commit a crime while in a drunken state, I think I should bear the consequences of this, whether or not my judgement was impaired and despite my intentions.

    Similarly, I think SOME responsibility should be borne by both parties if one/both is drunk.

    There were several years where I went out frequently, but never lost consciousness/blacked out. I know my limits, and do my best to keep WITHIN my limits. If something happened to me that wouldn't have normally happened because of me being overly intoxicated, I'm pretty sure that it would be MY fault, and not that of the drink/someone else's.

    I think this is why its ALWAYS GOOD to have a buddy system when you go out - people looking after you who you know well so that no-one can be taken advantage of in these kinds of situations
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    Only if you're drunk too.

    Source: Superbad.
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    (Original post by Wilfred Little)
    Yes, which is why no man should sleep with a drunken woman.



    But the other person could be drunk too, it works both ways, if they are both drunk they might not even know what's going on. They are both to blame, you can't really blame the other person if they didn't decide to rape, i.e. they were drunk and at the time thought that's what the victim wanted.

    And in scenarios like that advert, if you've gotten drunk at a party, led a boy to a bedroom and then started kissing him first then wow. You're doing yourself no favours.
    I know it works both ways. If a women can't consent to sex while intoxicated (to the extent that her agreement is not considered informed or free) then neither can a man or anyone else.

    I don't know the legal position of those who have sex while both/all parties are not considered capable of consent. It's a very grey area. If we're not considered capable of making informed and free choices while drunk, is our drunken state considered a mitigating circumstance if we commit a crime? Probably not. I'm not a legal professional.
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    (Original post by Davethedavedave)
    You clearly have an agenda. Why don't you just move to Sweden with all your other buddies.

    I don't need a government advertising camping to tell me that sex with someone who doesn't want it is rape. Just another victory for feminism sadly......
    So trying to inform the population about the law is a 'sad victory for feminism'? Wow.

    Some people do need to be told the law when it comes to sexual crimes. Some people don't realise or think it is unimportant that having sex with someone who doesn't give consent is rape. We've seen enough of that on this forum alone. Rape and sexual assault are very prevalent in our society.

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