ok so for starters me and my sister aren't exactly the closest of sisters in the world, though i would like us to be and wrote a message in her birthday card last year that i wanted us to be closer - which by the way she didnt acknowledge at all, let alone even thank me for the card (which hurt cause it kind of gives the impression that she doesnt want to be closer)- so yeah after expressing quite obviously that I would like to be closer with her last January in her birthday card, we are still not what I would define as close sisters as behave essentially like best friends.
my problem is i feel that my sister constantly patronises me, and makes me feel small, alot of it is stupid things but it still annoys me and makes me really angry sometimes. I also feel like she doesnt talk to me, we have our moments when we will talk about boys/makeup/clothes but its not like i would speak to my friends. But she doesnt really seem to trust me, she's never talked to me about her first kiss, first time or any encounters like that with blokes, not that i talk to her about that either but thats because she never shares that stuff with me.
I also hate that she never picks up any slack around the house (we both live at home) Its always me cleaning the family bathroom that only me and her use, if she does its once in a blue moon and my mum usually has to give big hints, whereas i just do it every week and when she does do it, its only just clean, while i go in and really give the shower and everything a good scrub down, clean the toothbrush holder thing out as it does develop like soap scum or whatever if you dont and i also put the towels in the washing machine when there's only a few clean ones left!! its the same with the kitchen, she rarely clears up after herself or just clears the place up after breakfast/dinner or something, whereas if i have a day off and am at home, i would empty the clean dishwasher from the night before and clear up everyones stuff from that morning. she also is always leaving her dishes lying about the house or leaving stuff beside the kitchen sink when the dishwasher is empty, always leaves our shower mat lying soaking on the floor (never even sets the shower mat out properly, theres a cork board to go underneath it aswell and i always drape the shower mat over it and set it up against the radiator to dry and she just puts it on the ground like that instead of putting the shower mat out on it properly) she also only opens the bathroom window a tiny bit which means it always catches the wind and bangs in and out of the frame every two seconds..instead of just opening the window properly or if you stick like a small roll of sellotape inbetween the window and frame it wont do this!! this is extremely annoying as i'm right beside the bathroom and it wakes me up and it isnt nice being woken up at 7am like that especially when i work til late at night sometimes. I actually really flipped out at her last week about all of this stuff about the house! and in all fairness i really did have a good shout but thats because she always does it and i always say nothing and let her away with it and after all she is 26 (she should get the finger out a bit).
basically i just want to know your opinions on this stuff and about anyone's similar experiences. at the end of the day she is my sister and i would like to be closer and joke about with her and all the rest, but maybe i'm expecting too much? maybe we're too different? also about her making me feel small and all the stuff around the house..what should i do to stop myself going crazy, should i just let her get on the way she does and just try not to react to it and let it run over my head and just go about my own cleaning etc and let her be a slob? pleassseeee HELP and give me some advice!!
Regarding you're sister not being close I think this just depends on you're relationship and how they feel towards you. I luckily have several sisters and a brother and each relationship varies but I am particularly close to my sister. Don't worry about it If you've always had this type of relationship it's unlikely for it to change anytime soon especially as she's older. Maybe you two could go on holiday together or some other sort of trip to have time to bond? Sometimes time apart can also make you appreciate each other too as you see each other everyday you take each other for granted? Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
With the cleaning up some people are messy and some are cleaner. My brother I would say is worse than me and I do sometimes get annoyed at the lack of cleanliness . You could just say you've had enough of cleaning the bathroom/kitchen and say you want to split it and decide a system where it's more evenly split. Instead of bottling it up you need to just say it then and there like with the window for example instead of bottling it all up then having a long rant as it will just sound like you are nagging her she probably didn't know about the window.
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