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Depressed - don't feel like I belong

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    I'm sorry I'm going to sound so pathetic and whiny here (which I guess I am) but I just need advice/help

    I don't understand why I'm depressed - my life's actually pretty good; good grades, uni offer, fab friends, fab boyfriend, nice parents etc etc. And yet I've been depressed for the better part of ~3 years now (I'm currently 17 doing A levels, btw).
    I just feel so out of place. Like I don't belong & I'm missing from my life. Nobody knows about my depression I manage to mask it - anybody I know would probably tell you I'm the cheeriest person ever. But it's all fake and inside I'm crumbling. And I just don't understand why I hate life and myself so much. I wish I could stay inside with myself all day, curled up in bed, wish I could sleep forever & not have to live. Hell, if I wasn't concerned about the effects on my friends & family I would have killed myself my now. But I can't do that to them. I think about it all the time though. I hate myself even more for doing so.
    It just makes no sense though. I should be so grateful for my life. I see that, I really do, have it easy compared to so many people in the world. But for some stupid reason I just can't enjoy my life and I just need somebody to bloody talk to because I'm breaking down and I can't last much longer but I can't talk to anybody because I don't want them to see me like this. I need help.
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    Everyone feels down or depressed at some stage in their life some, longer than others for the most part it's people who lack purpose and they often ask the question (whats the point ?) and just don't feel like doing anything and it's like there's a thick, sluggish cloud over their head, and a constant feeling of tightness in your heart and a sinking feeling of hopelessness, i doubt just starting this thread will change anything or reading advice on this forum, it's up to you to talk to somebody about it and once thats off your chest, then you can progress and you will feel a heck of a lot better, guaranteed, because at least you know somebody understands and that's the main thing, another piece of advice is not to live for others, live for yourself, dont be a people pleaser because if you think about it that will only bring you superficial happiness, if you want ultimate meaning and value in your life i would start by asking the question (why are you here?) or (whats your purpose of life?) its a very stimulation experience and exciting experience have a look at philosophy, theology, god. Every tried asking the question - (what happens when im dead ?) And try doing stuff that pleases you, and surround yourself with people and interact about interesting topics that you want to discuss and try being good to people and having a positive impact on people's lives will make you feel alot better. Also another thing is your diet have a look if your eating properly because if you dont eat enough vegetables drink enough water, and if your constantly eating junk good e.g. chocolates, coke, cakes your just going to fell drowsy and dead like a slug, eat healthy food which will help you feel more alive, go for a jog, and the main thing is not to dwell on the past and talk about negative topics e.g. i wanna kill maself ahhhhh

    make sure your environment and the people your with are positive, because your environment shapes the person you are and how you behave to people and feel about yourself.
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    Take a gap yah', build some schools in Africa.
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    (Original post by Rachel_beans)
    I'm sorry I'm going to sound so pathetic and whiny here (which I guess I am) but I just need advice/help

    I don't understand why I'm depressed - my life's actually pretty good; good grades, uni offer, fab friends, fab boyfriend, nice parents etc etc. And yet I've been depressed for the better part of ~3 years now (I'm currently 17 doing A levels, btw).
    I just feel so out of place. Like I don't belong & I'm missing from my life. Nobody knows about my depression I manage to mask it - anybody I know would probably tell you I'm the cheeriest person ever. But it's all fake and inside I'm crumbling. And I just don't understand why I hate life and myself so much. I wish I could stay inside with myself all day, curled up in bed, wish I could sleep forever & not have to live. Hell, if I wasn't concerned about the effects on my friends & family I would have killed myself my now. But I can't do that to them. I think about it all the time though. I hate myself even more for doing so.
    It just makes no sense though. I should be so grateful for my life. I see that, I really do, have it easy compared to so many people in the world. But for some stupid reason I just can't enjoy my life and I just need somebody to bloody talk to because I'm breaking down and I can't last much longer but I can't talk to anybody because I don't want them to see me like this. I need help.
    This is exactly how I feel! Couldn't have put it better myself, I am so lucky to have the life I have I just feel so terrible all the time. I really feel like you should talk to somebody, trust me I understand how hard it is but it could help. If not a family member at first try and get a counsellor, you don't have to tell your family until you're ready!
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    A lot of people feel very similar, they have a good life but feel depressed, why? Because depression is an illness.

    Depression manages to dig into your subconcious, it seems to bypass all logical thought and reasoning, so how you feel doesn't make much (or any) sense. That said, you definately DO feel like crap.

    Depression can be genetic for those of us who are unlucky enough, personally it runs through my dad's side of the family; me, him, his mum, and my cousin all suffer from depression.

    I always believe that it's not necessarily what we go through, but how we deal with it all. For some people the smallest things will affect them a lot, but with other people they can shrug off even big problems and move on with no trouble.

    Sometimes it's a culmination of things that we grew up going through, even if they were small, all these small things add up in the end. My counsellor said that when you keep things bottled up (put on a mask and don't tell others about your problems), and help others all the time but not yourself, theres only so much you can take. In the end you reach a boiling point and it starts to flow over and spill out, and that's depression. It's a way for your mind to tell you that you need to change, what you're doing isn't healthy.

    Exams and all are always stressful, and most people will feel down at some point in their lives. Try and soldier through it, but if you keep feeling bad for a long time, talk to your GP and they can advise you on natural stuff like therapy and counselling. If that doesn't work you can always move on to meds, but i would always say that's a last resort kind of thing.

    Best of luck!
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    Good advice from Meaty_man. ^

    Definitely see your GP - I know it's scary the thought of speaking to somebody, but it can really help and is far better than going on suffering alone. Depression is treatable, and you owe it to yourself to try and get better. :hugs:

    Also if you're looking for people to talk to about this kind of stuff I recommend the depression society - it's been a total lifesaver for me. :yes:
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    Thanks for all your advice guys
    I've never actually considered it being genetic but it may actually be seeing as my grandma was depressed. I'll make an appointment with my doctor so I can speak to someone. I'm just a bit scared of totally breaking down as soon as I bring it up, just because I've bottled it up for so long
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    Hello

    The most dangerous thing towards the life is to take the depression which is much fatal so for the healthy life must be for you not think over undue cause the adversely effect upon the life.
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    What you have is referred to as 'smiling' depression. Where you feel the need/desire to hide it as much as possible, it's far more common than you would believe. a Lot of good advice on this forum. Depression is a mental illness, but it's very treatable through cognitive therapy, changing your thinking patterns and way at looking at life
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    (Original post by Rachel_beans)
    I'm sorry I'm going to sound so pathetic and whiny here (which I guess I am) but I just need advice/help

    I don't understand why I'm depressed - my life's actually pretty good; good grades, uni offer, fab friends, fab boyfriend, nice parents etc etc. And yet I've been depressed for the better part of ~3 years now (I'm currently 17 doing A levels, btw).
    I just feel so out of place. Like I don't belong & I'm missing from my life. Nobody knows about my depression I manage to mask it - anybody I know would probably tell you I'm the cheeriest person ever. But it's all fake and inside I'm crumbling. And I just don't understand why I hate life and myself so much. I wish I could stay inside with myself all day, curled up in bed, wish I could sleep forever & not have to live. Hell, if I wasn't concerned about the effects on my friends & family I would have killed myself my now. But I can't do that to them. I think about it all the time though. I hate myself even more for doing so.
    It just makes no sense though. I should be so grateful for my life. I see that, I really do, have it easy compared to so many people in the world. But for some stupid reason I just can't enjoy my life and I just need somebody to bloody talk to because I'm breaking down and I can't last much longer but I can't talk to anybody because I don't want them to see me like this. I need help.
    When did you start noticing your mood change? Usually people become depressed because something has happened to them. I would talk to your doctor and they can give you non addictive anti-depressants also talk to your doctor about visiting a therapist.
    I became depressed when I started taking the pill and as soon as I went off it I was fine within a few days. If you are on the pill I'd try going off it for a while and see if you notice anything - it really messes with some peoples moods.
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    Let it all out - don't be afraid the doctor has dealt with this before so they know what to do also the more you bottle it up the more you will feel awful.. you wouldn't believe how great it feels to talk to people about your problems. Try talking to a close friend you trust or your parents
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    Since I've been at uni, I don't think I've ever felt like I belonged. At times during the last term (or rather this term in each year), I've felt really really bad at times, but recently I've found that diving into some work (a project, a very big project) has completely taken my mind off this feeling. I'm also going to try CBT soon :borat:

    Sorry for my bad English, I've been reading code all day :nothing:

    (Original post by Begumguine)
    The most dangerous thing towards the life is to take the depression which is much fatal so for the healthy life must be for you not think over undue cause the adversely effect upon the life.
    What...?

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Updated: April 6, 2012
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