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I can't decide if I like this guy...

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    I met a lovely guy a month ago in a night club. We got chatting and since then we've been on several dates and spoken everyday. He seems to be so much more keener than I am. He always compliments me on things such as my hair and what dress I am wearing and he's an old fashioned guy. He didn't kiss me on the lips on the first date and he believes in taking things slowly.

    He's literally the guy I've always dreamed of meeting. But I find his romantic, niceness too irritating! to the point were it winds me up. I'm finding it so frustrating that I've found the nicest guy I've met in a long time and for that very reason I don't like him.

    Yet when I'm with him I'm so happy, relaxed and calm. I can be myself and I don't care what he thinks. He accepts me for who I am and he puts a smile on my face. So that makes me think that maybe I do like him.

    He's very attractive and several people have told me that they think he's nice looking. However I agree with them, but I don't feel attracted to him in a way which I imagined I would be to someone as nice as he is.

    I'm going to Uni in September so I'm thinking that I should just give a realtionship with him a try. If the relationship fails I can just use the whole 'I'm moving away' excuse but if it works I'll only be an hour away on the train.

    So ultimately I can't decide what to do. Do you think it would be cruel if I started a relationship with him if I'm not 'in love' with him? Or do you think I should give it ago and see if my feelings become stronger?

    I don't want to lose him as he seems like such a nice guy. I just want a bit of 'badness' about him.

    Thanks
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    Nice guys finish last...
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    You don't have to be in love with him to date him. That comes later. I'd give it a go if you think it's worth it. He sounds like a nice guy and there's nothing to suggest so far that he's "too nice" unless you give more examples.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met a lovely guy a month ago in a night club. We got chatting and since then we've been on several dates and spoken everyday. He seems to be so much more keener than I am. He always compliments me on things such as my hair and what dress I am wearing and he's an old fashioned guy. He didn't kiss me on the lips on the first date and he believes in taking things slowly.

    He's literally the guy I've always dreamed of meeting. But I find his romantic, niceness too irritating! to the point were it winds me up.
    I love how women convince themselves that all they want is a nice beta whiteknight but then are desperate to abandon ship when they get it. Or even worse they stick with them for a self-esteem crutch while cheating on them.

    I weep for 'nice guys'. I consistently see them invest absolutely everything that they have into a relationship only to later watch it crumble apart as the girl walks away from them, usually in the most heartless way possible.

    (Original post by trapzbrah)
    Nice guys finish last...
    True story. PS, lets get yucky.
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    This is exactly the reason I've started to be a bit more of a knob the last few years. Poor lad!
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    You women are so frustrating! Yes do give things a go, I can only imagine how many women would be fighting you for a really nice guy, and you are having doubts over him!
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    It's important to treat women nicely, to be respectful and polite, and not to push things if you want to be taken seriously yourself

    Unfortunately what seems to have escaped this guy is that it's also important to keep a girl on her toes, to make her feel lucky, and that it being a little edgy doesn't hurt :cool:

    It's one thing to put a smile on a girls face, and it's quite another to make that kitty purr :emog: If you don't have the urge to jump him then I wouldn't bother OP, only likely to go one way..
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    Yeah, why am I not suprised that you said that. A sly smile came across my face, as it just continues to validate my thoughts.
    Obviously there are traits in nice people, which women admire.. HOWEVER being nice just won't suffice nowadays. When she knows she can get anything she wants from you, or is complacent, is when you will have problems.
    So the obvious answer.. is to not give her what she WANTS.. but what she NEEDS which is of a different priority to her.
    Too much deviation from the thread.
    OP, I would say try to stick with him for a while, see if he changes at all. Try to push limits, and see if he tries to show any authority/manliness. Ultimately though, I think you will get bored and leave him if he continues to act like that.
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    (Original post by TypicalME)
    Yeah, why am I not suprised that you said that. A sly smile came across my face, as it just continues to validate my thoughts.
    Obviously there are traits in nice people, which women admire.. HOWEVER being nice just won't suffice nowadays. When she knows she can get anything she wants from you, or is complacent, is when you will have problems.
    So the obvious answer.. is to not give her what she WANTS.. but what she NEEDS which is of a different priority to her.
    Too much deviation from the thread.
    OP, I would say try to stick with him for a while, see if he changes at all. Try to push limits, and see if he tries to show any authority/manliness. Ultimately though, I think you will get bored and leave him if he continues to act like that.
    ANd people like that tend to cheat as well if they get "bored", not that I am saying the OP will, but I've read this situation lots of times! He does not need to change!

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Updated: April 4, 2012
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