I chose this title because it is clearly based on an old cliche, but I think most of us have observed it enough to accept that there is some reality to it.
We have all seen some bloke who appears very average in regards to looks or physique, but upon further observation their demeanor and dress label them as a person of means. Our suspicion is then clearly confirmed when some absolutely stunning woman comes and stands by his side. Most people would then have a tendency to make a negative judgment on the character of one or both partners within such a relationship. Is that judgment just, and why do we do it?
Suppose the wealthy partner despises most everything about the attractive one other than their looks. Suppose the attractive partner despises most everything about the wealthy one other than their money. Which partner is more deserving of our contempt. I tend to judge the "gold digger" the most, but that is just my prejudice. Truly in these examples, both parties are shallow and somewhat despicable. In this case they deserve each other, but it is rarely that simple.
Suppose the wealthy partner does care for the attractive one, but they chose them over someone less attractive whom they adored. Suppose the attractive partner likes the wealthy one but they have ignored another whom they have a deeper connection with because that person is poor. Do their choices make them shallow people? I say no. There is nothing wrong with considering someones looks or wealth in choosing a mate. It is shallow if you consider only those things. Just as it would be shallow if you only cared about intelligence. It is not shallow to consider all factors, including wealth and looks.
I think that wealth and looks are the two attributes people can possess with the most tangible benefits within our society. As a result it is common or easy to feel pride and envy in their regard. The natural progression is an attempt to label such factors as "superficial". The truth is that wealth and looks are no less substantial than intelligence, Wit, or compassion.
There is a reason why it is rare to see a wealthy man with an ugly woman, or a stunning woman with a man who is completely dirt poor (yes there are always exceptions). It is not because these people are shallow. It is just because they have what they consider to be better options in choosing a mate. I say more power to them.
Do you find it contemptible to prioritize someones looks or wealth when choosing a partner?