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How do I become a man?

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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    Yeah, ok, sure, I wouldn't know.

    But like I said, people who've made genuine mistakes generally evoke sympathy from most people, whereas people who try to be a smart-arse, and fail, just come across as stupid and unjustifiably arrogant - i.e. you.
    You're confusing arrogance with boredom and a general feeling of disgust towards exam revision.
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    Taken from Esquire:
    A man looks out for those around him — woman, friend, stranger. A man can cook eggs. A man can always find something good to watch on television. A man makes things — a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he rebuilds — engines, watches, fortunes. He passes along expertise, one man to the next. Know-how survives him. This is immortality. A man can speak to dogs. A man fantasizes that kung fu lives deep inside him somewhere. A man knows how to sneak a look at cleavage and doesn't care if he gets busted once in a while. A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.

    A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

    A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

    Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

    A man loves the human body, the revelation of nakedness. He loves the sight of the pale breast, the physics of the human skeleton, the alternating current of the flesh. He is thrilled by the snatch, by the wrist, the sight of a bare shoulder. He likes the crease of a bent knee. When his woman bends to pick up her underwear, he feels that thrum that only a man can feel.

    A man doesn't point out that he did the dishes.

    A man looks out for children. Makes them stand behind him.

    A man knows how to bust balls.

    A man has had liquor enough in his life that he can order a drink without sounding breathless, clueless, or obtuse. When he doesn't want to think, he orders bourbon or something on tap.

    Never the sauvignon blanc.

    A man welcomes the coming of age. It frees him. It allows him to assume the upper hand and teaches him when to step aside.

    Maybe he never has, and maybe he never will, but a man figures he can knock someone, somewhere, on his ass.

    He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. He doesn't see himself lost in some great maw of humanity, some grand sweep. That's the liberal thread; it's why men won't line up as liberals.

    A man gets the door. Without thinking.

    He stops traffic when he must.

    A man resists formulations, questions belief, embraces ambiguity without making a fetish out of it. A man revisits his beliefs. Continually. That's why men won't forever line up with conservatives, either.

    A man knows his tools and how to use them — just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud, when to use galvanized nails.

    A miter saw, incidentally, is the kind that sits on a table, has a circular blade, and is used for cutting at precise angles. Very satisfying saw.

    A man knows how to lose an afternoon. Drinking, playing Grand Theft Auto, driving aimlessly, shooting pool.

    He knows how to lose a month, also.

    A man listens, and that's how he argues. He crafts opinions. He can pound the table, take the floor. It's not that he must. It's that he can.

    A man is comfortable being alone. Loves being alone, actually. He sleeps.

    Or he stands watch. He interrupts trouble. This is the state policeman. This is the poet. Men, both of them.

    A man loves driving alone most of all.

    Style — a man has that. No matter how eccentric that style is, it is uncontrived. It's a set of rules.

    He understands the basic mechanics of the planet. Or he can close one eye, look up at the sun, and tell you what time of day it is. Or where north is. He can tell you where you might find something to eat or where the fish run. He understands electricity or the internal-combustion engine, the mechanics of flight or how to figure a pitcher's ERA.

    A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

    A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

    A man does not wither at the thought of dancing. But it is generally to be avoided.

    A man watches. Sometimes he goes and sits at an auction knowing he won't spend a dime, witnessing the temptation and the maneuvering of others. Sometimes he stands on the street corner watching stuff. This is not about quietude so much as collection. It is not about meditation so much as considering. A man refracts his vision and gains acuity. This serves him in every way. No one taught him this — to be quiet, to cipher, to watch. In this way, in these moments, the man is like a zoo animal: both captive and free. You cannot take your eyes off a man when he is like that. You shouldn't. The hell if you know what he is thinking, who he is, or what he will do next.
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    pound yo' like theres no tomorrow.
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    (Original post by Luxray)
    Taken from Esquire:
    Ah carnt reed
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    if you wanna be a man, love one girl in a million ways
    if you wanna be a boy, love a million girls in one way
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    (Original post by SpongebobSquarepan)
    The massive one on your forehead compensates for that.
    lol'd
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    Ah carnt reed
    A man can read.
    So try and read it.
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    (Original post by shush)
    if you wanna be a man, love one girl in a million ways
    if you wanna be a boy, love a million girls in one way
    Would missionary suffice?
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    (Original post by Luxray)
    A man can read.
    So try and read it.
    But mah mom was durunck wen she was gestatin me
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    Would missionary suffice?
    duno what that means
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    (Original post by shush)
    duno what that means
    You don't know what "missionary" is?
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    You don't know what "missionary" is?
    guy on a religious movement
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    Tips?

    IF you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
    Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

    If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
    if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
    And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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    (Original post by shush)
    guy on a religious movement
    You genuinely made me laugh.

    lmao
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    Kill a lion with nothing but a spear.
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    (Original post by Alofleicester)
    Kill a lion with nothing but a spear.
    Can it be like, a baby lion? Or does it have to be of a certain age?

    Do female lions count?
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    Here's a tip: STOP ARGUING LIKE A WOMAN!
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    (Original post by High VOLTAGE)
    Here's a tip: STOP ARGUING LIKE A WOMAN!
    What do you mean arguing?!

    I wasn't arguing, you fool!

    God, you're so immature, capital letters don't make you a big man, you know.

    Arguing, pfft, get outta here. I can't BELIEVE you think I was arguing. God, you're dumb.

    I wasn't arguing, you idiot!
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    First you must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire and be mysterious as the dark side of the moon. After that, I'm not too sure.
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    Can it be like, a baby lion? Or does it have to be of a certain age?

    Do female lions count?
    Nope, Healthy male lions only. Then chop off it's head and put it in your tribes tambaran.
Updated: April 5, 2012
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