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My parents make homophobic jokes, and I think I might be gay

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    As the title says, my parents make non PC jokes, including homophobic ones. I've come to the realisation that I'm not heterosexual; I'm not sure if I'm homosexual, because I've never felt anything romantic for a member of my own sex either, but I could very well be.

    I'm fairly sure my parents are just joking - after all, they make racist jokes and have friends who are from other races, so they obviously don't actually dislike them. But there's a part of me that is nagging and asking, "But what if they are serious?" What if they actually don't like gay people, and it turns out I'm gay?

    I'm confused enough as it is (as I say, I'm not straight, but I'm not sure I'm gay either; so far, I don't seem to be anything... :erm:) and I'm also not able to talk to anyone about it. Can anyone give advice on what to do, please?
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    I guess first of all you really need to decide if you're gay or not. Before that i dont think you need to worry about the fact what you're parents will say.

    PS: your username doesnt really suggest you're gay.
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    I'm confused enough as it is (as I say, I'm not straight, but I'm not sure I'm gay either; so far, I don't seem to be anything... :erm:)
    Simple test:

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_gRl1tLJOW7..._42399_raj.jpg

    Or

    http://soccerhairstyles.tk/resimler/...beckham-18.jpg
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    What baffles me is how u can't be sure
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    Some people are 'asexual'. Not everyone absolutely has to be attracted to one sex or the other :rolleyes:

    Really not that hard to figure out here people.

    Nor do I think any of you are in a position to judge whether or not trying to determine one's own sexual orientation is 'easy'.
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    (Original post by bluemax)
    I guess first of all you really need to decide if you're gay or not. Before that i dont think you need to worry about the fact what you're parents will say.

    PS: your username doesnt really suggest you're gay.
    You're the second person to make a comment about my username in quite a short space of time. It was the name of my short-lived band, using one of my surnames (and two of the other guys who also had the surname 'Robinson'; none of us were related) in a Robinson Crusoe reference. What do you think it means?


    (Original post by Newbie123)
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    And what if neither of them are doing anything to me?
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    Sit down and talk to them, if you're willing to open your sexuality to them. Just say that you don't really feel comfortable with the homophobic jokes and while you know they're not meant seriously, you'd appreciate if they stopped.

    Don't listen to the bull**** above. You don't need to "make a decision" regarding your sexuality. It doesn't even need to be ABOUT sexuality, if you're uncomfortable with some of the jokes they're making, tell them, in all likelyhood they'll take it well and stop.
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    Why does everything need a label?
    Be who you want to be...
    If your parents make jokes and you're offended then tell them it's not very kind behaviour...
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    You're the second person to make a comment about my username in quite a short space of time. It was the name of my short-lived band, using one of my surnames (and two of the other guys who also had the surname 'Robinson'; none of us were related) in a Robinson Crusoe reference. What do you think it means?
    It means absolutely nothing. Having a specific username in no way reflects your sexual orientation.
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    As the title says, my parents make non PC jokes, including homophobic ones. I've come to the realisation that I'm not heterosexual; I'm not sure if I'm homosexual, because I've never felt anything romantic for a member of my own sex either, but I could very well be.

    I'm fairly sure my parents are just joking - after all, they make racist jokes and have friends who are from other races, so they obviously don't actually dislike them. But there's a part of me that is nagging and asking, "But what if they are serious?" What if they actually don't like gay people, and it turns out I'm gay?

    I'm confused enough as it is (as I say, I'm not straight, but I'm not sure I'm gay either; so far, I don't seem to be anything... :erm:) and I'm also not able to talk to anyone about it. Can anyone give advice on what to do, please?
    and that is why my family doesn't know :rolleyes: it's not my parents its just my aunties uncles and siblings :mad: I've told a few close friends but that's it because I have family members going to my college so it's best to be safe. Can't wait to go to uni
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    (Original post by Robinson's_Crusade)
    And what if neither of them are doing anything to me?
    Then you are Dr. Sheldon Cooper incarnate, and you will only use your reproductive capablities as a means of self-preservation.

    Find Amy Farrah Fowler incarnate.

    But seriously, those are two people that are generally considered very attractive... If neither does *anything* for you, then your libido is probably unusually low.
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
    Then you are Dr. Sheldon Cooper incarnate, and you will only use your reproductive capablities as a means of self-preservation.

    Find Amy Farrah Fowler incarnate.

    But seriously, those are two people that are generally considered very attractive... If neither does *anything* for you, then your libido is probably unusually low.
    That's not necessarily true.

    That assumes that because a lot of people find either person attractive, that this particular person will find one or the other attractive.

    I'm a gay male. The man in that picture, I have no idea who he is, is not attractive. :confused:
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    (Original post by JordanS94)
    and that is why my family doesn't know :rolleyes: it's not my parents its just my aunties uncles and siblings :mad: I've told a few close friends but that's it because I have family members going to my college so it's best to be safe. Can't wait to go to uni
    Why? I'm going to university and don't like gay people. It's not as if everyone suddenly becomes accepting of this fact.
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    So they make bum bandit jokes?
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    (Original post by NYU2012)
    That's not necessarily true.

    That assumes that because a lot of people find either person attractive, that this particular person will find one or the other attractive.

    I'm a gay male. The man in that picture, I have no idea who he is, is not attractive. :confused:
    They are considered classically attractive - obviously I'm not saying "if you don't like them, you're a freak". But I can't sit here and post 100s of pictures of different types of "beautiful" men/women.

    FYI, that's David Beckham... Who a lot of women worship.
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    (Original post by Infallible)
    Why? I'm going to university and don't like gay people. It's not as if everyone suddenly becomes accepting of this fact.
    The higher up the education ladder you go, the less homophobia and bigotry.

    I.e. take a look at the top US universities - we're all left wing, very liberal universities.
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    (Original post by Newbie123)
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    Not the best male example tbh.
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    I wouldn't have thought there'd be much point coming out to them unless you're actually getting into gay relationships. You might decide that while you find people of the same sex attractive, there's actually someone of the opposite sex you like and you end up staying in a relationship with them.

    What I suggest however is not giving them any reason to be shocked when/if you do come out. You might feel tempted to make non-PC jokes about gays just because your parents do, but then that'll make things more of a shock to them if you decide to come out. Do you have any gay friends? Maybe you could invite them over, so your parents can become more 'familiar' with them and they'll realise that gays are just as normal as everyone else (well, unless you invite an extremely camp Gok Wan type person over, then they'll be as put off as you can get), and the fact that you're friends with gay people means they won't be so surprised if you come out.
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    Hello I'd agree that it's probably best to work out exactly how you feel first. You'd probably be surprised at how many straight people have been through phases of questioning themselves... and there's not much point in coming out if you're not totally sure you're gay anyways :')
    Buuuut, if you do realise you're gay, and you tell your mum and dad, I bet things would turn out ok. I know this is probably really annoying advice, but I honestly think your parents would accept it - even if it takes some time.

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Updated: April 6, 2012
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