I have always been "the fat one." In primary school, I don't want to sound arrogant but to 11 year old girls I was considered pretty popular.
When I went to secondary school I made friends with this really quiet girl, despite me being quite loud. Eventually the girl I had befriended (I will call her Amy) came out of her shell and we made quite a few "popular" friends. Well I say we, but I only made friends (people who didn't actually like me) because of her.
Eventually we ditched the "popular people" and made some friends of a better quality. I actually became friends with these people as they considered me as the funny/weird one. School progressed and I had become really really really good friends with these other 2 girl who I am going to call Sarah and Eve. However over time our triangle split. Sarah and Eve fell out completely and Eve Joined another group.
Whilst Eve joined another group I stayed put in the current group I was in. Over time I realised that I preferred Eve to all of these people put together as they would always bitch about her and make friendly fat jokes to me, not purposely to hurt me, but they did it to everyone, eg another girl has a lazy eye and was really really tall.
A year progressed and I decided to move to the group Eve was in because I had had enough of their childish ways (that probably will sound very hypocritical when I re read this.) I felt really uncomfortable in the group because I was new and Eve had made really strong friendships. I felt isolated. I could never talk to Sarah and the other because they thought I had "betrayed them" and I kind of regretted because they involved me in conversation.
By year 11 I had finally made about 3 real friends. And I felt as I was starting to get a best friend (Charlotte.) (But last year (year 11) it was for a really petty reason but we lost our Friendship. At Christmas we did a secret Santa. And by chance we got each other, we decided to spend £20 on each other rather that spending £10 because the extra £10 gives you plenty more options. When it came to the last day of term before Christmas she came to tell me she forgot and would get me one by January.
By January, no present. The same happens for our birthdays (both in February) I spent £30, because it was her 16th and I considered us best friends (and this was a large sum for me as I am quite poor.) But anyway I got over it. In the January/February of that year there was a new boy in the year above, and Charlotte started to make friends with him, and basically didn't speak to me for a month, just him. Anyway that was a lost cause because he already had a girlfriend so she moved onto someone else, and she still ignored me.
Now (year 12) I have given up and sat with my remaining 2 friends, in the larger clique. However now we are the unpopular of the unpopular. Only 1 on us (not me) gets invited to social events organised by people in the group that our group is a sub category of. I am close friends with many of them, one being Eve, but not close or popular enough to be invited to.
I am just as good a friend as the one who gets invited, but they don't invite me, probably because I am fat, quiet and unpopular.
The 2 true remaining friends I have I don't feel close to because they meet up in secret.
Any advice is truly appreciated.
I never really knew how to make friends, any tips.
Is uni like this?
And other info is greatly appreciated.
Maybe you should try moving school? I moved from an all girls school to a mixed school when I was year 10 and it was the best decision I ever made. You get a fresh start and single-sex schools are too bitchy.
A lot of people find school a difficult environment to be themselves in but this usually changes when you go to university. I wouldn't worry
Try making friends in other places like local clubs etc in your area? Search on gumtree for social things in your area or why don't you volunteer for an organisation to meet other young people?
Don't feel like you're on your own loads of teenagers go through a stage of loneliness at some point. It seems like the people you are with at the minute don't sound very supportive or friendly. But this will change you just need to make an effort to find new friends.
You're near the end of school. Look to the future now, work hard and make sure if you want to go to University you end up somewhere you like and if you're getting a job or whatever, work hard to get where you want.
You'll feel satisfied getting where you want in life, and you'll make friends when you leave school.
Only advise, be friends with people who are there for you, don't chase people who aren't, and be mature in your friendships
Uni is not like that at all, at least not in mine or anyone elses that I know experience. As long as you are a friendly person you will be fine Friendships should just form naturally to whomever you bond with, you shouldn't worry about being in a 'group'